


What I wouldn't give to see you smile.

by ShadowsintheClouds



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blame Thor, Comic Book Science, Depression, Eating Disorders, Hurt Tony Stark, Insecure Tony Stark, M/M, Misunderstood Tony Stark, Mpreg, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Parent Bucky Barnes, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but by magic, do not copy to another site, hand wavy medical stuff, more warnings to come, serum transference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 67,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18404699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsintheClouds/pseuds/ShadowsintheClouds
Summary: Six months after what the media had dubed the "Civil War", the Rogue Avengers return back to the compound on fresh pardons. Bucky, freshly cured of his HYDRA brain washing, just wants to resume a more normal life. So, that's what he tries to do. Until he returns to the compound. After being introduced to one Tony Stark he sees how horrible life can be. Tony's fallen into a deep depression. he doesn't socialize with anyone and he's far to thin. After Steve yells at him over something trivial Bucky realizes that there's a huge problem.Bucky will do anything to see Tony smile for once. And maybe, just maybe, he'll fall in love along the way.See each chapter's notes for additional warnings.





	1. Home isn't what I thought it would be

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello everyone! Welcome to my new fic!!! I'm really excited about this one. Get ready for tears and laughs and a healthy dose of ignoring cannon. As always read my chapter notes for warnings before each chapter if there are any. I hope you enjoy it! -Shadows
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Blood Bank by Bon Iver](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwtkV9EOcdE&list=RDMM4y33h81phKU&index=38)

Six months. It took six months for the so called Rogue Avengers to sign the newest version of the Sakovia Accords and to get pardoned. The whole time, Bucky felt horrible over what had happened. He hated that he had hurt people. He hated that he didn’t have all the information before he got into fights. And he hated being stuck in Wakanda with some of the Rogues.

When the fight had ended Bucky had asked King T’Challa to put him on ice until they could find a way to remove the trigger words. Steve had protested against it, but in the end, followed through with Bucky’s wishes.

He had only stayed frozen for a month.

Apparently, Tony Stark, the man who’s mother he had killed, had given Princess Shuri some tech he called B.A.R.F. that was supposed to help remove the triggers. It worked amazingly and after a month, Bucky was trigger free and slowly getting his life back. Bucky felt eternally grateful to Stark. He didn’t have to help him, but he did.

What drove Bucky crazy was how a few of the Rogues reacted to the news that Stark had supplied the tech that cured Bucky. Barton and Maximoff went on a whole rant about how horrible Stark was and how he deserved to die. The others just stayed silent the whole time and it made Bucky feel stupidly uncomfortable.

So, Bucky mostly kept to himself while in Wakanda. He would wander the fields and help tend to the goats. Maybe he was a farmer in a past life because he was surprisingly good as it. Steve would come by every day and talk to him. He mostly tried to talk to him about their old life growing up. Bucky remembered bits and pieces of it and would engage in conversation a bit, but he mostly wanted to be left alone to figure things out.

Three months after he had been unfrozen, T’Challa approached Bucky with a formidable stack of papers.

“Mr. Barnes. If you have some time, I would like to go over a few things with you.” Bucky just nodded and followed the king into the palace and into a cozy little conference room.

“These are the revised version of the accords. If you could give them a read through I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have.”

Bucky was more than happy to read them. He had heard the Rogues bitching about them and he was more than eager to form his own opinion on the matter. Turns out that most of them hadn’t even read the fucking thing the first time around. Bucky was surrounded by idiots.

By the end Bucky had signed the documents with a smile before he went back to his room for the night. Bucky didn’t envy T’Challa. He had the almost impossible job of getting the rest of the Rogue Avengers to sign the revised accords.

By some miracle T’Challa was able to get the others to sign the accords and a month later they had been granted probational pardons to return to the compound. They would have to stay on house arrest there for a couple of months, but at least they were returning. Everyone was happy about that, but Bucky felt conflicted. He didn’t have a home at the compound like the others. He was happy just working with the goats. But he didn’t have much of a choice. Wakanda was not his home and T’Challa had every right to send him back to the states.

So, bright and early one crisp fall morning, Bucky and the Rogues returned back to the Avengers Compound. The flight itself was filled with a mixture of jovial excitement and muffled complaints. Bucky mostly tunes it out. He talked to Steve for a bit about what the compound was like, but that was about it.

So, the flight was ok. Nothing too bad happened. Bucky didn’t like being stuck in close quarters with the annoying bird that was Sam Wilson, but it was nothing compared the angry shouting and murderous sneers that happened when they actually arrived at the compound.

As the Rogue Avengers got off the jet they arrived in they were greeted by Hope Van Dyne and Colonel James Rhodes. Rhodey was sporting some pretty sweet leg braces that allowed him walk after he was paralyzed in the fall he took during the airport fight.

“Welcome back everyone. I’m sure you all read the welcome packets T’Challa gave to you.” Stated Rhodey as everyone gathered around just outside the doors to the common room.

“Where’s Stark? Shouldn’t he be the one out here doing this?” asked Steve with an air of disapproval. There was a smattering of angry murmurs from some of the others and Bucky felt uncomfortable.

“Tony just got out of the hospital. He’s not in a position to be walking around.” Spoke Rhodey.

Tony had been in the hospital? That was news to the others. Although, none of them seemed to care. Bucky did, and he was terrified that he was part of the reason he’d been put there to begin with. He knew he had to make it up to Tony. He just knew it.

“Where’s Vision?” asked Maximoff as Rhodey began to lead them inside.

“He’s just inside. He wanted a get a few snacks ready for you guys once you arrived. Despite being an android he’s not the best at time management.” Answered Hope as she took the front of the group.

True to Hope’s word, Vision was just inside in the living room with a platter of snacks. When he greeted the Rogues he was cordial at best. Wanda tried to strike up a conversation, but Vision seemed a little bit uncomfortable around her. Well, she did send him through several floors of the compound when she broke out of the one place keeping her safe. So, with a small clipboard in hand, Rhodey motioned for everyone to take a seat in the seats provided. Just as Bucky was about to sit down, they were interrupted by a voice in the doorway.

“I guys. Seems you made it back here in one piece.” Came a very raspy and broken voice.  

Everyone turned to look at the source. Standing there in the doorway was one Tony Stark. He looked like he’d fought a loosing battle. His cheeks were sallow, he looked like he hadn’t slept in a month, he had a nasal cannula attached to a fucking oxygen tank, and his sweatpants and sweater looked three sizes too big on him. Bucky’s heart lurched at the sight.

“TONY! What are you doing up?” reprimanded Rhodey as he stood up to get to Tony’s side.

“I had a funny feeling that if I didn’t show up that these guys here would get mad and then try to break into my room to get answers. This way was just easier.” Coughed Tony. Rhodey did his best to support his friend but with his leg braces being so new, he couldn’t hold all of Tony’s weight. That was when Bucky stood up to help the struggling genius to the couch. Bucky was struck by how light he felt and it made him feel even more horrible. Nobody should look for feel as horrible as Tony did.

Once they got Tony seated, Tony gave Bucky a small “Thank You” as he grabbed a blanket and curled up in the decorative pillows that had obviously been picked out by Pepper years ago.  

“What the hell happened to you Stark?” asked Steve in what to Bucky felt like fake concern.

“Open heart surgery and replacement sternum. I don’t really recommend it.”

“Enough chit chat. We still have a few things to go over before we show you to your rooms. They are as you left them and we had a couple made up for Mr. Barnes and Mr. Lang. They’re sort of the bare minimum because nobody here was really sure what you wanted. You can add things as you see fit.” Began Rhodey as he and hope jumped back into explaining how things would work at the compound with the Rogues return.

Bucky tried his best to listen as attentively as possible. Some of the rules were important, such as the areas that were off limits. The biggest one, that somehow made a few of the others angry, was that they were not allowed in Stark’s lab without express permission from Tony Stark himself. Bucky didn’t understand their anger. The place was probably filled with things they didn’t understand and it was a safety risk. Sure, Bucky had heard about Ultron, but something didn’t seem right when everyone blamed Tony for that. Tony was the preverbal king of AI and HYDRA had had their eyes on him for that years ago. Something else must have been at play for something to go as horribly wrong as it had.

Speaking of Tony. Bucky could see how uncomfortable he looked sitting in the room with the rest of the Rogues. He was defiantly forcing himself to be there. Although, Bucky couldn’t really blame him for his reaction. He was surrounded by people who hurt and betrayed him. Hell, even Bucky felt uncomfortable around some of the Rogues. Mainly that little HYDRA witch. She had volunteered for the experiments and knew exactly who she had been working for in the attempt to get revenge on the man who killed her parents. Plus, she was mad at the wrong man. Sure, Stark had mad the bomb, but he wasn’t the one to sell the bomb to the black market, (that was Obadiah Stane) nor was he the one to actually fire it. He anger was misplaced.

After about half an hour of talking, Rhodey got up to go to the bathroom while Hope went to refill her drink, leaving Tony alone with the Rogue Avengers. The air was filled with a mix of hatred and discomfort. It was a moment before anyone had any inclination to speak up.               

“Stark, you need to build Bucky a new arm. You broke his old one and he needs a new one now.” Demanded Steve as he stared down Tony. Bucky was about to interject, but Tony beat him to it.

“I can’t right now Cap. I’m barred from the lab for another month.” Explained Tony, his breath wheezing a bit.

“I don’t care. He needs a new arm and you’re going to make him one.”

“Cap, I just said I can’t. If I try to work in the lab like this I’ll get hurt or someone else will.” Argued Tony, who was starting to look even more worse for wear if that was even possible.

“Again, I don’t care. There’s work to do and you need to pull your own weight. Stop making excuses Stark.”

As Steve continued to yell Tony’s face fell. He looked resigned to his fate. There was no fight left in him. It made Bucky’s heart break. Tony had really done nothing wrong. Bucky was even thankful that Tony blasted off the old arm. He didn’t want anything made by HYDRA. But here was Steve, trying to force a sick man to work. It was disgusting.

And that was the exact second Bucky realized that there was something horribly wrong with Tony Stark. And Bucky just knew that he had to protect him.

“Steve, he’s still sick. If I was sick like that would you have me working. No! Leave him be.” Interrupted Bucky before Steve could keep arguing with Tony.   

Tony’s eyes widened as Bucky spoke. He really wasn’t expecting anyone, especially not Bucky, to jump to his defence. Nobody really did that before. Rhodey would sometimes, but he wasn’t always around to help when Tony actually needed it.  

From there, Tony didn’t even hesitate to get up and try to get to his lab. He struggled to get up but nobody seemed to want to help him. So, Bucky took it upon himself to do so. With a look at distain thrown back at the others, Bucky slowly helped Tony down the hall and towards the elevators.

“FRIDAY… lab please.” Commanded Tony. Bucky glared at him before finding his voice and speaking up.

“You’re dead on your feet. You’re going to bed. The arm can wait. Hell I don’t even need a new arm. You actually did me a favour when you destroyed the HYDRA arm. I didn’t want that hunk of metal anymore. I’m glad it’s gone.” Tony looked on incredulously but Bucky continued.

“You’re going to bed and you’re going to rest. That’s final. No arguments. I have loads of experience getting stubborn sick people to get to bed and rest. I’ll have you know that I’m persistent. So… let’s get you to bed.”

Tony just ended up nodding and allowed Bucky to lead him to his room. Bucky got the genius to bed and the second his head hit the pillow, Tony was out like a light. His breathing was still raspy, but the sleep would do him some good.

As Bucky left Tony’s room and began the journey back down the hall, he ran into one James Rhodes who looked more than worried.

“I heard what Rogers wanted. Please tell me you didn’t let Tony go down to his lab?” Asked Rhodey.

“He’s in his bed.” Responded Bucky and Rhodey let out a sigh of relief.

“I guess I should thank you for helping him. He shouldn’t even be up in the first place. The new arc reactor needs time to settle in his chest before he can start really moving again.” Explained Rhodey as the two walked back towards the group.

The rest of the afternoon was spent going over the rest of the rules set by the UN for the team. Luckily, those didn’t take too long. By about 3 o’clock everyone was free to go to their rooms. Steve offered to help Bucky get comfortable, but Bucky told him to go. He was an adult, he could get his room to his liking on his own.

The room Bucky was given really was just the bare bones. There was a bed and some linins, a dresser, side table, and closet full of clothes in Bucky’s size. The attached bathroom had a shower and a few necessities such as a toothbrush and shampoo. Nothing was over the top. In a way, it made Bucky feel more at home. He like things to be simple.

The whole time Bucky was getting settled, his mind kept wandering back to Tony. He didn’t like the fact that the man seemed scared and uncomfortable in his own home. It just didn’t sit well with him. It also made Bucky feel angry. He was angry at the world over everything that had happened. He was angry at Steve for lying to someone who should have been his friend, and he was angry at himself for not doing more to stop what had happening.

Bucky wanted to do more. He wanted to help make things better. And his first order of business; help Tony Stark heal.


	2. We had to grow up quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello, and welcome to chapter 2! Thank you all for the amazing feedback from the last chapter. I don’t have too much to say about this one other than to enjoy it. I’ll see you at the end. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Eight by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K99i5GF65to)

 About a week after the Rogues arrived at the compound, Bucky hadn’t seen hide or hair of Tony. In any other situation, Bucky would have been concerned. But, given that the genius was supposed to be on bed rest according to Colonel Rhodes, Bucky just thought that he was resting.

Well, boy was he wrong.

Towards the end of Bucky’s first week at the compound, FRIDAY contacted Bucky on his brand new phone with a summons down to Tony’s lab. That was a major red flag for Tony having done something stupid. But, Bucky went down to the lab anyway. HE was greeted to the sight of a clearly exhausted Tony sitting at the bench dressed in overlarge clothes and hooked up to his oxygen. He wasn’t that different from the scene he saw a week prior, but it was still jarring. And, Tony somehow looked even more exhausted than before. After taking a look around, the metal on the table that looked suspiciously like a hand must have had something to do with the deep dark circles under Tony’s eyes.  

“Glad you could make it down here Barnes. I just need you for a few minutes to get your opinion of what you want for the arm and to take a few measurements then you’ll be free to go.” Spoke Tony with an obviously fake smile. That made Bucky frown.

“I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest according to Rhodes.”

“Too much work to do. It’ll just make things worse if I don’t get it done.” Sighed Tony as he motioned for Bucky to take a seat. Bucky did so, but mostly to humour the genius. The work itself was actually quite simple. Tony had FRIDAY take some scans of Bucky’s flesh arm to get the proportions correct and then asked of Bucky wanted or needed anything special with the arm. Things like colour and such. Bucky just wanted to keep things simple. Hell, he wasn’t really even sure he wanted a new arm. He was mostly was just humouring Tony because he knew he was getting a new arm whether he wanted one or not.

“Alrighty, I’ll let you go for a little bit. You should come back here in about two hours so I can take a few readings on the bonding site. Until then just go back to whatever you were going.” Stated Tony.

Before Bucky could even say so much as a thank you, Tony had turned his back on him and was working on the hand on the table. So, Bucky took his leave and headed to the kitchen. If Tony wouldn’t give him the chance to say thank you, then he would just show his thanks. So, Bucky got to work making a nice soup for Tony. He was far too thin and obviously wasn’t eating enough.

Steve came in a few times to talk to Bucky while he cooked, but Bucky was on a mission. Plus, Steve kept going off about how Stark owed Bucky a new arm and it was just pissing him off. The second Bucky was done cooking, he took off back to the lab. Enough time had passed so Bucky knew that Tony would be waiting for him.

“Here, Tony. I brought you some food as a thank you.” Smiled Bucky as he walked into the lab.

“You don’t need to do anything. It’s fine.” Stuttered Tony and Bucky’s heart broke a little more.

“Nonsense. You’re building me a new arm. Plus you’re far to thin. So eat up.” Smiled Bucky as he tried to lighten the atmosphere.    

“Why are you trying to help me? You should hate me like the others.”  Frowned Tony as he looked down at the soup that Bucky had placed on the table.

“You should hate me! Tony, I hurt you! I don’t even understand how you can let me in the same room as me?” spoke a shocked Bucky. He had no idea what was going though Tony’s head.

There was a moment of awkward silence before anyone said anything. It was like the lab had been sucked into a dark void where time had stopped and the air was so thin it was like breathing through a straw.

“I don’t really blame you for what happened. You were brainwashed and manipulated. I know a bit what that’s like. And I can’t even be mad at you for killing Howard. You sort of saved my life with that one.” There was an air of finality with that statement and Bucky knew he had to get to the bottom of it.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Howard wasn’t the man the media liked to portray him as. The only person other than me who knows what really happened was Rhodey. And to this day the media knows nothing. I’ve kept it all a secret. Although even that was getting harder to do once Cap kept praising the man at every turn.”

“Tony… did he hurt you?” asked Bucky concerned. Although, Tony didn’t even need to answer. The broken look in his eyes said it all.

“He used to beat me, force me to drink alcohol that lead to a drinking problem, my hands are covered in scars because he would hand me hot things that I couldn’t put down.”

After that confession, Tony just broke down crying. Bucky just held him close and tried his best to comfort the man. It was obvious that Tony was absolutely exhausted and wasn’t thinking straight. He knew that this wasn’t information that would have been divulged under normal circumstances.

Eventually, after almost an hour of sobbing, Tony ended up crying himself to sleep. It broke Bucky’s heart to see someone so broken inside. It was obvious that Tony had some deep-seated issues and his current health situation wasn’t making anything easier. So, Bucky did the only logical thing and picked up the sleeping man and cradles him in his arms to take to a proper bed. Bucky felt disgusted by how light Tony was. It was like he hadn’t eaten anything of substance in a while. He would have to fix that.

Once again, just as Bucky was coming back from Tony’s room, he bumped into Colonel Rhodes. He looked worried and Bucky knew exactly what he was worried about.

“Barnes. Have you seen Tony around? I went to check his room 20 minutes ago and he wasn’t there.”

“He was in his workshop. He had a bit of a breakdown over his shitty ass father and I just got him to bed.” Bucky felt that it was way safer to just tell the truth to Tony’s very scary best friend. Turned out he was right.

“He is definitely not in his right mind if he’s talking about Howard. Look, Barnes. Thanks for getting Tony to bed. He’s just so stubborn and won't listen to reason when he gets too far in his head.”

“He’s a good guy. He shouldn’t be sitting in his lab suffering.” Spoke Bucky softly. Rhodey just nodded and stared Bucky straight in the eyes. It was kind of unnerving.

“I can tell that you genuinely care about him despite everything that’s happened. More people need to realize that Tony isn’t the bad guy everyone tries to make him out to be.” And that was when the tone changed and Rhodey got really close to Bucky’s personal space.  

“Just so you know Sargent, if you hurt him, if you break his heart or his trust, I will not hesitate to kill you. Tony’s been through enough. He doesn’t need more shit to deal with.” And with that Rhodey took his leave to go check in on Tony.

Bucky stood there in the hallway completely baffled. It was obvious that Rhodey cared immensely for Tony. With the history they had, it was impossible not to. Now, Bucky understood the part about not breaking Tony’s trust, but breaking his heart? That was a bit odd. Sure, Tony was an extremely attractive man. Bucky couldn’t deny that, but Bucky knew that neither of them was really in any position for really anything. Bucky just shook his head to get rid of his thoughts before he went to join the rest of the team for dinner.

Four days passed before Bucky heard anything from Tony. He was once again summoned down to the lab where Tony was waiting with the wire skeleton of Bucky’s new arm. Tony still looked exhausted and it was clear that he had been working against medical advice.

“Hey there Bucko. I just need you so I can measure the shoulder socket then you can go.” Bucky just nodded and sat down. The lab was Tony’s domain. It was bad enough that he was trespassing in it, but it was clear that Tony was uncomfortable.

After about 10 minutes of Tony fiddling around and making adjustments, he ended up hitting a bit of a snag. He had forgotten to grab one of his smaller screwdrivers and his laps in memory pissed him off.

“Butterfingers. Can you fetch me the PH #000.” Commanded Tony.

Just as Bucky was wondering what a “Butterfingers” was, a robot with a claw arm came barrelling towards them with the screwdriver in its grasp. Behind them were two other similar robots and Bucky couldn’t help but marvel at them.

“You have robots!?” asked Bucky excitedly and Tony just nodded.

“Yup. Barnes, meet DUM-E, YOU, and Butterfingers.” Tony looked so proud as he introduced his bots to Bucky. Almost like a proud parent talking about their kids.    

“Why is he called Butterfingers?”

“Because when I entered him in a competition his joints got stuck and I had to use butter to unstick them.” And that there was the first smile Bucky managed to get out of Tony.

Bucky managed to get Tony talking the rest of the time he was in the lab. He could tell that Tony was more at ease when talking about his inventions. Although he did tend to get silent when he realized he’d been talking for a while. But then Bucky would just ask a question and the conversation would continue on. It was quite peaceful if Bucky was being honest with himself. It was way better than hearing some of the others bitch back and forth about stupid things.

By the end of two weeks, Tony had finished the arm and was looking just a little bit healthier then he had before. Every day when Bucky went down to the lab, he made sure to bring Tony something to eat. Tony looked so damn proud of that arm and it made Bucky smile. That night, Bucky made sure to show it off and talk about how Tony was a genius and had done such a good job with it. He made sure that everyone knew that this was Tony’s finest work for Bucky and that they should leave him alone.

The only problem that Bucky had now that the arm was done, was that he no longer had an excuse to go down to the lab. Bucky liked the lab. Despite the general chaos of the space, it was a surprisingly calm environment and Bucky learnt something new every time he went down there. It didn’t help that Bucky had been feeling drawn to the genius.

So, Bucky made up an excuse to be down there.

“So you’re telling me that you want me to teach you about the future?” spoke a puzzled Tony as he stared at Bucky. Tony had been looking a little better as of late. He was no longer on oxygen and with Bucky feeding him and his medication kicking in, he’d put on a little weight.

“Seeing as how you’re literally the most futuristic person I’ve met you seem like the gut for the job.” Argued back Bucky as he couldn’t stop looking at Tony.

“Look, I can’t stop you from making your own decision, but this one is a bad one. Not only am I a shitty teacher, but this’ll only make Cap angry. He’ll find some way of blaming me for corrupting you and then we’re all fucked. As I said, it’s your choice, but it is a shitty one.” Argued back Tony as he voice cracked and dropped.

“Well, I don’t care what Stevie thinks. I’m older than him. He’s not my mom. I can make my own decisions. I’m quite happy to stay down here in the lab. It beats listening to people complain upstairs. Plus you have actual robots. I’d like to stay down here with the robots.”      

And from that day forward, Bucky spent most of his time in the lab with Tony. As predicted, it pissed Steve off to no end, but Bucky didn’t care. He was learning new things every day and Tony even showed him how to solder wires together. They had lunch together and just talked. It didn’t take long before they considered each other good friends. They had no ill will towards each other from the “civil war” and they felt better once they talked out their emotions to each other. Tony still wasn’t smiling much, but when he did, Bucky’s heart soared. Life was going great.  

That was until it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky was a science nerd back in the ’40s and you can pry that from my cold dead hands. I hope you all liked the chapter. The story is just beginning. I can’t wait to show you where it goes. I’ll see you soon -Shadows.  


	3. I'm begging you to stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear friends and welcome to a new chapter. I just have one thing to say before we begin. Tony was mostly raised by Ana and Edwin Jarvis and, Ana was Jewish so Tony would know and celebrate all the Jewish holidays as well as the Christian ones Howard and Maria celebrated. You can pry this little headcanon from my cold dead hands. Enjoy the chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Skinny Love by Birdy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNzCDt2eidg)

The week had started out normal. Well, as normal as it could be having a bunch of superheroes in the compound. A couple of weeks before had been Thanks Giving and everyone was there. Well, everyone but Tony. He had been excluded and had spent it in his lab. He wasn’t alone thankfully. May and Peter Parker had stopped by to keep him company while everyone else talked shit about him.

Everyone’s behaviour made Bucky and Rhodey’s skin boil. It was just horrible. They would have preferred to spend the day with Tony but Steve had pretty much guilt tripped Bucky into going and Tony told Rhodey to go so someone could keep the peace. Still, they knew that Tony was still upset about everything.

The few weeks that had passed after that were relatively normal. Bucky got to meet the Spider-kid. He liked Peter. He was a good kid who was definitely like a mini Tony. The kid was smart, a giant nerd, and was funny. He was like Tony but without the abusive past. Sure, Peter had a tragic past, but he was always loved and never abused by those close to him. Either way, Bucky liked the kid.

So, once again, the week started out normal. Bucky had been thinking long and hard about some things. Some more personal things that would no doubt piss off Steve. You see, Bucky didn’t really feel like Steve’s Bucky. That was another man in another life. He was different now.

So that called for a bit of a name change.

“Hey, there sugar. Do you have a moment?” asked Bucky one morning in mid-December. Tony blushed a bit from the endearment but nodded anyway.

“If it’s no problem, I’d really prefer it if you’d call me James. I just don’t feel like that Bucky from the past ya’know?” He was a little sheepish as he spoke. He didn’t know how Tony would react.

“Sure thing Jamie. Just let me know if I slip up alright.” Smirked Tony. James breathed a sigh of relief and the two went back to working on their individual projects. Bucky was working on restoring a car that Tony had given him and Tony was working on some new patents for Stark Industries. The afternoon was going great. James was happy, Tony wasn’t lonely. All was well.      

And then Wanda just had to go snooping and touching things that she shouldn’t have.

Just as Tony and Bucky were walking into the main living space to get a few snacks to bring down to the lab, Tony’s face dropped. Everyone was there in the living room setting up the Christmas tree for the year. The room was filled with laughter and red and green tinsel. There were decorations everywhere and right there on the side table right next to the tree, was a beautiful ornate menorah.

“Is that my menorah?” asked Tony and everyone turned to look at him.   

“I found it in some boxes near your room in that big storage closet.” Spoke up Wanda as she glared at Tony.

“And the fact that my name was on the boxes didn’t stop you did it?” asked Tony rhetorically. He was looking somewhere between pissed off and on the verge of tears.

“Look, can I please have it back. That’s all I have left of Ana. It’s really important to me.”

“If it’s so important why was it packed away?” rebutted Wanda and Bucky just knew that this was going to end badly.

“Because when I was moving into the compound after Siberia I was in and out of the hospital every other day and I’ve been busy ever since. I haven’t had the chance to unpack everything.”

“I didn’t know you were Jewish Stark.” Added Steve with a raised eyebrow.

“Ana and Edwin Jarvis were and they practically raised me.” Mumbled Tony as he tried to keep it together. “Can I just have it back please.”

“You’re not using it. It should be kept out here so Wanda can use it.” Spouted Clint.

Tony just stood there sputtering for a moment. He didn’t know how to respond to all of this. If they had asked he might have shared with them, but this was something more personal and Tony just knew that the moment he said no that he would be yelled at and berated.

So thank fuck for James.

“It’s not yours. Just give it back to Tony and get your own. It’s important to him. How would you feel if you had something like that stolen.” Argued Bucky. And that was when Wanda snapped.

“He killed my parents. He doesn’t deserve anything.” Snarled Wanda. Tony just froze and looked like he was going to throw up.

“I didn’t kill them. That wasn’t even a bomb I made. I looked into it. If you want to blame someone blame Obadiah Stane. He’s already dead so don’t bother looking for him.”

And at that, Tony exited the room in tears. He hated crying in front of others. The second Tony left the room James gave everyone present the angriest look he could muster before he snatched the menorah away from Wanda and went after Tony.

He found Tony curled up in his lab with his bots. He was wrapped up in a blanket and the bots were all curled around him. Well, as much as they could for robotic arms. James just curled up next to Tony, handed him the rescued relic, and held Tony close while he cried. They stayed there for the rest of the day, just being close and keeping each other company. After a while though, Tony was able to speak up.    

“We used to celebrate every single Jewish holiday together. Ana couldn’t have kids so she passed all the traditions down to me. Those were some of the best memories of my life. I’ve tried so hard to keep all the traditions for her, but it’s hard when I’m all alone. I feel like I’ve failed.” Sniffled Tony as he slowly broke away from the hug.

“You’re not alone anymore doll. I’ll make sure you’re never alone again.” And when James said that, he meant it. With all his heart he meant it.

WIWGTSYS

Once the holidays rolled around, the compound was bustling with activity. There were team dinners and parties. It was a blast. But of course, Tony was excluded. Rhodey tried to get him included, but he wasn’t always there to act as a buffer. Rhodey had left to go visit his Mom and sisters for the holidays. Tony had been invited to tag along, but he declined. Tony gave a whole spiel about not wanting to intrude and how he didn’t want Mama Rhodes to take the attention away from Rhodey to worry about him. No amount of convincing could convince Tony to go. So, he stayed behind.

Bucky made excuses to stay with Tony during the season. He would tell Steve that he “didn’t like the noise”, or that he was “too tired to hang around with so many rambunctious people”. It drove Steve insane, but he wasn’t one to not respect his friend. So, what Steve didn’t know wouldn’t kill him.

Christmas day though, Tony was completely and utterly alone. He had FRIDAY and the bots sure. Be he didn’t have any human contact. He spent the day sitting in his lab making new designs and trying not to cry. He didn’t even leave the lab to grab something to eat. He wasn’t hungry anyway. Food just tasted like ash in his mouth. He could do without. He’d done so much bad in the world that he didn’t even deserve food.

So that was the day Tony Stark decided to stop eating.   

James didn’t know this of course. He just noted that Tony hadn’t left his lab since the holidays and wanted to help. He cared deeply about Tony. He wanted, no, NEEDED to make sure he was alright. So, Bucky decided that he was going to the lab whether Steve liked it or not.

Knowing Tony, he was probably running low on food in the lab. James knew he liked Tony liked smoothies, so, he loaded up a bag with fruit and brought it down to the lab. As he walked, Bucky couldn’t help but notice that Tony was getting thinner again. He would have to try and fix that. He didn’t like seeing Tony unwell. It broke his heart.   

“What the fuck James. Did you just bring in a whole Legion of Bananas?!” exclaimed Tony as James walked into the lab with his haul. James just smiled and went about putting the fruits away in the fridge Tony kept in the corner of the lab. Just as James predicted, it was empty except for some string cheese and a packet of water crackers on top of the fridge. It looked pretty depressing.

“You need to eat more sweet thing. You’re to thin to be healthy.” Commented James as he finished unpacking the food and strode over to Tony.

“Sorry, I’ve just been so busy and this new heart medication I’m on sucks ass.” Murmured Tony as he looked down at his hands. Bucky just gave a soft smile as he slung an arm over Tony’s shoulder and pulled him into a hug.

“Well, I’ll just have to fatten you up ‘till you’re all better.” Smirked James. At that, Tony let out a small chuckle to hide how anxious he was feeling. James just thought it was a laugh and was lost in the musicality of it.   

The two spent the rest of the day working together on restoring an old car in the back until James all but forced Tony to lay down in his own bed and go to sleep.

When James went to sleep that night, he dreamed of Tony’s eyes. Those deep brown Bambi eyes that James would just get lost in. He also dreamed of Tony’s hands. Hands worn down by years of hard work, yet gentle enough to make such intricate things. James dreamed of Tony’s smile. He’d only seen it a hand full of times, be he knew he would walk to hell and back just to see that smile. James dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. And when he woke up, his heart fell when he looked over to his side and didn’t see Tony beside him.  

And that was the problem. James Barnes had fallen deeply in love with Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people. I hope you liked the chapter. I’ll be honest, this chapter was hard for me to write. Not because of the subject matter, but because where I live, we just had a super important election. I live in Alberta Canada and we just elected the racist, homophobic, transphobic, wants to regress our science and history education asshole that is Jason Kenney. As a trans guy, I’m terrified for what this will bring. But, I will keep on writing until the bitter end. Wish me luck. -Shadows.


	4. He's just a shell of a person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! This chapter was a trigger warning for attempted suicide. Be warned but enjoy the chapter none the less.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [How to save a life by The Fray](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVQ36NhbMk&list=PLY-Mirc3qLxMZur3n2gD8RvejVxwQTx3k&index=4)

After the holidays, things didn’t really get much better for Tony at the compound. It seemed like every time Tony tried to make a foray to the common area, whether it be to grab some fresh water or to head out to a meeting, Clint and Wanda were throwing scathing words and insults at him. Thankfully it was just them doing it. Scott had apologized and was spending most of his time with Hope training. Natasha kept any mean words to herself. Sam mostly did his own thing but would give Tony the stink eye from time to time. And Steve, well let's just say that he permanently was sporting a disapproving look where Tony was concerned.  

So yes, the majority of the bullying was coming from Clint and Wanda.

It drove James and Rhodey crazy not being able to do much about it. There was no physical violence so Rhodey couldn’t bench them from the team. He could only ramp up their physical training in an effort to shut them up. It was annoying.

James and Rhodey had been becoming a bit closer. James wouldn’t say they were friends, but they got along fine. Truth be told they mostly talked about Tony. Rhodey would tell funny stories and James would bring up his concerns about Tony’s health. And, as the two got to talking, James had some questions.    

“Why do you guys even let us stay here? We did horrible things. Why let us stay?” asked James one afternoon while he and Rhodey were eating lunch at their physical therapy office.

“Don’t get me wrong here. If it were up to me you guys never would have returned. I hate most of you. You and Tick Tack are the only ones I tolerate. The only reason you guys are back is because of Tony. He was the one who reworked the accords and got you guys all pardons from his hospital bed when he should have been resting.” Explained Rhodey.

James’s jaw dropped. He knew that Tony must have pulled a few strings for this all to happen. But for it to be done almost entirely by him and then to be treated like absolute garbage in his own home where he should feel safe. It made him feel sick.

“That’s just not right. He did all this stuff for everyone and they all just treat him like a monster. I bet if they actually got to know Tony they wouldn’t act like that.” Spoke James completely outraged. Rhodey just hummed and nodded.

“See, this is why you’re ok in my books. You treat Tony like a person and not a walking bank account and punching bag. The bar is so low yet everyone else keeps digging.”

“Steve is just acting like a jerk. He even went on a rant about you the other day. I don’t know what happened, but he’s changed from the scrawny kid I grew up with.”  

“Rogers is just pissed he’s no longer the leader of the Avengers. I outrank him and have more combat experience so that’s why they made me the leader.” Argued Rhodey and James smiled back.

“Steve never was properly trained for leadership. He never really finished basic. It freaked me out on the battlefield. Sure, he’s a good tactician, but he’s not the best when it comes to leading a team of people with different views and skills. During the war, we all had the same training and similar backgrounds. Here, we’re all different. Nothing is the same as it was back then. We need to learn to adapt.”  

“See, this is why you’re growing on me. I can see why Tones likes you.” Smiled Rhodey.

Not too much later, their lunch break ended and they were called back by the trainers to get back to work. That night James dreamt of Tony again. He longed to hold the smaller man close and bury his face in his curls. He longed to kiss him and feel him tremble with lust. And if James woke up and had to rub one out after Tony featured heavily in one of his wet dreams, well that was between James and his right hand. James knew that this was getting out of control and he would have to talk to Tony eventually. He could only hope that Tony felt the same way. But to James, that was only a pipe dream.

Meanwhile, Tony was just getting thinner and sicker. It didn’t take a genius to realize that something was seriously wrong. Everyone who cared could tell that Tony was in pain. They just couldn’t tell if it was emotional or physical. Tony was good at hiding things. And if it was physical it would be impossible to figure out how bad it was. Tony had a skewed sense of pain because he’d lived for so long with the arc reactor causing chronic pain. And now with it back in to support his heart and sternum, nobody really had any idea how much pain Tony was in on a day to day basis.

Everyone did what they could to help. Pepper lessened his workload for SI in hopes that Tony would sleep. Peter always brought some sort of funny story from his week when he came to visit to help cheer Tony up. Rhodey offered the companionship that only a long time friend could. And James made sure Tony at least ate something, even if it was just a bite. Sometimes that seemed like a losing battle.

Most afternoons, James found himself in the lab with Tony. He would listen to the genius ramble on about what he was making and James would just stare at him in adoration. Sometimes he was able to drag Tony away from his work to teach him about different pop culture things. They had a list of movies they were working through. James quickly discovered that he and Tony liked the same movies. Cheesy sci-fi movies were the best kind of movies.

That was when Bucky knew he had jumped off the deep end. What he felt for Tony wasn’t just lust or a child-like crush. No, James was in love. The kind of love that burned bright and never died. So, with that in mind, James knew he had to find a way to woo Tony. Treat him like the amazing person he was. Now if only his stupid best friend wasn’t being so stupid.      

WIWGTSYS

The day the shit hit the proverbial fan started out like any normal day at the compound. James got up, took a much needed cold shower, and went to go eat breakfast. He was the first one up so he ate his cereal in silence. As he ate, his mind wandered back to Tony. He ended up just sitting there with a stupid look on his face that he didn’t even realize he was sporting until Steve walked in after his morning jog.  

“I see that look on your face Buck. You have a crush! Come on, what’s she like?” teased Steve as he made to take a seat next to James in the kitchen.

“Well… um…” faltered James as he blushed a bit.

“Come on Bucky. You can tell me. I won't judge. Is it that cute receptionist. You always did have a thing for brunettes.” Joked Steve.

James on the other hand really didn’t know how to respond. Maybe he should just start with the having a crush on a guy thing and work from there.

“It’s not a… uh… woman. It’s a… guy.” Mumbled James nervously. He really had no idea how Steve would react to that.

“Is that why you didn’t tell me right away like you used to back in the day? Did you think I’d hate you?” asked Steve worriedly. James just nodded.  

“You don’t have to worry about what I think Bucky. I know it's legal now. Although, I did learn about it after I yelled at Stark once after he had talked about an old boyfriend at MIT. I still feel kind of bad about that. But I know better now so don’t worry.”

James let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had been worried that Steve would hate him for the whole “liking guys” thing. They had both been raised Catholic and being with someone of the same gender had been severally punished back when they were young. James was glad that had changed. Now he just had to approach the next part gently. If Steve would hate him for anything, it would be that.

“So, tell me what he’s like?” asked Steve and James smiled a bit.

“He’s got these amazing eyes. They’re such a rich brown and they’re all big and doe-eyed. He’s a little bit on the shorter side but he is just the kindest person I’ve ever met.” Gushed James. And he meant every word he said.

Steve just looked at Bucky and could instantly see that his best friend was in love. The two ended up talking about it a little bit more as other members of the team began to trickle in for breakfast. Sam ended up teasing him a bit and everyone was pestering for a name. James refused. He knew this had to be handled with care. Eventually, Rhodey made his way in to join them and that was when shit hit the fan.  

“Hey Colonel Rhodes, could you ask Stark to move faster on getting everyone’s armour and weapons done?” asked Steve and instantly James and Rhodey were on edge.

“I’ve already told you, Rogers. Tony is on restricted lab hours until he’s fully healed. If it takes a little extra time to get things done than so be it. With the amount of stuff you want done, it’s going to take time. Also, Tony is under no obligation to make all your gear. Take some initiative for once and do some work!” snapped Rhodey.

And that was when all hell broke loose.  

There was shouting from everyone. Steve and Natasha were being overly critical about Tony, saying that he should still be doing all the work for them. That it was Tony’s job and he was doing a piss poor job of it. Sam and Scott were mostly silent, piping in where they saw fit. Clint and Wanda were being downright nasty. They were shouting obscenities and calling Tony every name in the book. If James wasn’t trying to stay in Rhodey’s good book he would have punched them into a different reality by now. Meanwhile, himself, Rhodey, and Hope Van Dyne were arguing on Tony’s behalf. James was very quickly losing his cool as insult after insult was thrown at the man he loved.

“Stop it! Just stop it!” growled James and everyone looked at him. “All the insults need to stop right now! I will not hear another word against Tony. He is 10 times the man any of you will ever be. He is strong. He is brave. And I’m sick and tired of all of you shitting on him. I can’t take it anymore. Either you all stop or I’ll make you.” By the end of his rant, James was panting and Rhodey actually had a bit of a proud smirk on his face.

But then Clint had to open his big, fat mouth.

“Why should I care what you think of him. Your perception is all wrong. Stark is nothing more than a snobbish asshole who doesn’t care about anyone or anything. The world would have been a much better face if he had died in Afghanistan like he was supposed to. I’ve read the SHIELD file. We’re all thinking it. He should have been long dead by now but here we are stuck with him.” Snapped Clint.

The whole room was dead silent as they all tried to process what Clint had just said. There were some nods from a few members in the room, but it was mostly shocked silence. What everyone failed to notice at that moment was that Tony had heard the whole thing. They failed to notice Tony sprinting away from his hiding spot in the corner to the safety of his lab. They failed to notice Tony pulling out five labelled envelopes and placing them on his work table. They failed to notice the tears streaming down his face as he hugged his bots close and whispered apologies. They failed to notice the rusty old saw blade in the corner of the lab.

If only one of them had noticed. But the yelling just continued.

“Colonel Rhodes, Sargent Barnes, you are needed immediately in Boss’s lab. It’s an emergency!” spoke up a very worried FRIDAY.

In an instant, Rhodey and James were up and sprinting to the lab. Rhodey was glad he had been wearing his heavy duty leg braces so that he could mostly keep up with James. Both men were extremely worried. Something must be extremely wrong for FRIDAY to go against her coding and interrupt everyone in the common room. Normally she was just passive surveillance in there because some of the others didn’t really understand AI and thought she was another Ultron. So she stayed silent. Something bad must have happened.

It didn’t take very long before Rhodey and James had arrived at the lab. Rhodey punched in his key code and they entered the lab. The utter silence other than the frantic beeping of DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers should have been the first clue that something was wrong in that lab. Rhodey and James turned the corner and walked over to where the bots were, passing the labelled envelopes on the table.   

And that was when they saw the blood.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, interwebs. Sorry about that cliff hanger. All will be cleared up shortly. On another note, I’m going to see Endgame this Friday! (26/04/19) I can’t wait. Although I’m terrified that our favourites are going to die. I’ve got my tissues ready. Just as a note. This whole story is not Endgame compliant so you won't have to worry about spoilers. I’ll see you next chapter! -Shadows  


	5. I'll be there when you wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Sorry for the cliff hanger last chapter. I know, I'm cruel. No Endgame spoilers here, but I am putting all of my feelings about the movie into this chapter. And trust me, I have a lot of feelings. Also, I am NOT a doctor. All the medical stuff in the chapter is from watching Saving Hope and Greys Anatomy reruns. If you're an actual doctor then you are awesome! Thank you for saving lives. Enjoy the chapter.
> 
> This chapter's song is [Another Love by Tom Odell](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwpMEbgC7DA&list=PLY-Mirc3qLxMZur3n2gD8RvejVxwQTx3k&index=6&t=0s)

Time seemed to stand still in the few minutes between them finding Tony and medical help arriving. In reality, it was only about 3 minutes, but it felt like an eternity to James. In that span of time, both Rhodey and James found themselves kneeling at Tony's side. He still had a heartbeat, so their main job was to stop the bleeding. Rhodey was screaming commands to FRIDAY to get help. James was… well, he was panicking. He had tears in his eyes and his hand was shaking as he took Tony's right hand in his.

"Tony, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me since I escaped HYDRA. You're the best thing that's happened to me, period. You're not allowed to die on me Doll!" cried James right as medical help arrived. They had to gently coax Rhodey and James from his side as they took Tony down to medical. They tried to follow but they weren't allowed until they had fixed the wound that Tony had caused.

So, being kicked out of medical, Rhodey and James wandered back to the lab. Neither really knew what to say. Rhodey didn't point out what James had said earlier and James didn't point out how horrible Rhodey looked. Well, to be fair, they both were a complete mess. They just sat there in the lab and waited for FRIDAY to let them know that Tony was alright to visit. They sat there for a good half an hour, and that was when Rhodey spotted the envelopes.

On one of Tony's tables sat five envelopes. Each one was addressed to someone different. There was one for Peter, Happy, Pepper, Rhodey, and James. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was in them. Obviously, this had been a long time coming and Clint's words had just been the final nail in the coffin. Rhodey and James took their envelopes in hand. Both wanted to read what was in them, but both were also dreading opening them. James was the one to finally break and tear upon the pale envelope in his hands. Just reading the words made him start crying anew.

_James:_

_You know, this isn't how I thought things would go. I thought I would have more time. I thought the pain would go away. I guess if you're reading this then it didn't. There are so many things I wanted to say to you, but in the end, I guess I was too much of a coward. I'm sorry for making you feel bad about this. I never wanted to hurt anybody. I guess even I couldn't do that. I grew up being told that I wasn't good for anything. I guess Howard was right about that._

_There is one thing I'd like to tell you. I don't know if I even should considering who I am to you. You can take this however you want. I just want to clear the air. I hope you can entertain the stupid thoughts of a dead man._

_I just want to say that I've fallen in love with you. You with your stupid smile and laugh. You treat my bots with affection and you actually give a shit about what I'm working on. You treat me like a person and not a punching bag. Not many people are actually nice to me. You even give me food and water when I need it. Man, looking at it now by far was set really fucking low. And yet most people just kept digging._

_I'm sorry for doing this to you. You don't deserve any of this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a life without having to deal with my fuck ups. All I ask is that every once in a while, you spare a thought for me. Don't cry for me. Go join in with Rogers and live your life. Be better than me._

_Love always -Tony Stark_

Just reading the words Tony had left for him had James openly sobbing. And judging by Rhodey's reaction, his were probably similar. Tony had been broken down long before James had entered his life. All James wanted to do was try and make it better. But the letter had left him so heartbroken that he was barely able to process the fact that Tony had said he loved him back in the letter. James had to reread it just to make sure. Even so, it was painful to read.

James and Rhodey ended up hugging on the floor and crying until FRIDAY called them down to medical. Tony was stable and the doctor needed to talk to them. Both of them quickly dried their tears and sprinted off back to medical to be at Tony's side.

Once they were there they were able to see the state Tony was in. His left wrist was covered in thick white bandages and there was an IV line giving him fluids and medication. Tony looked ghastly pale as he lay still in the hospital bed. That was the unnerving part. Tony Stark was never still. He was always moving, inventing, doing something. But here, he just lay there in the bed and slept.

It didn't take long for the doctor to explain everything. They stitched him back up, started treating for infection and tetanus, and started getting fluids into him. They were told that Tony had to remain in medical until they were sure that he wasn't going to try to kill himself again. He was going to be monitored 24/7. James drank all the information in, but one thing wasn't settling well with him.

"Are you sure that Tony would be alright with me hearing this?" James asked the doctor.

"Well, you're listed as one of his medical proxies along with Mr. Rhodes and Ms. Potts so I believe you're fine." Answered the doctor. "Now, he should be waking up shortly. Try to keep the noise down and try to make him feel comfortable. I'll be back in about five hours to prep Mr. Stark for additional surgery. We want to insert a gastrointestinal feeding tube to help give him nourishment so he can start to get back to a healthy weight. Normally we would just use an NG tube but because Mr. Stark's airway of so fragile with the arc reactor we feel that this is the best option. Now, any questions?"

Both James and Rhodey shook their heads. And with that, the doctor had left the room and both James and Rhodey took their seats at Tony's side. Rhodey held Tony's good hand in his while James brushed Tony's hair from his face. They sat there for a good half hour before Tony began to stir.

"Hey, Tones. How are you feeling?" asked Rhodey gently as Tony struggled a bit to open his eyes.

"Rhodey?" came Tony's voice. It was all scratchy from general disuse over the last few weeks.

"Hey Doll. Don't you worry. You're safe here." Cooed James and that got a bit of Tony's attention as he woke up a bit more.

And that was when Tony began to panic.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so so so sorry!" cried Tony and both James and Rhodey had to work on retraining Tony to the bed. James ended up crawling into the bad and holding Tony in a bear hug.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here! I shouldn't even be here!" continued Tony as he was held close and secure. "I should be gone. I should be gone. You guys shouldn't be here! You shouldn't care!"

And that last sentence shattered both of their hearts.

"Anthony Edward Stark! Don't you think for a second that we don't want you here. That we don't care." Stated Rhodey. "We want to help you, Tony. We don't want to lose you."

By that point, Tony was absolutely sobbing and trying to curl in on himself. James held him even closer and tried to help calm Tony down. He ended up singing Tony a song that he remembered his mothing singing to him when he was little. It worked like a charm and 10 minutes later, Tony was ludic enough to talk to everyone.

They didn't end up talking about much. Rhodey filled Tony in on what had happened and what was going to happen next. Tony just nodded along but stayed silently curled up in James's arms. He felt safe there. There weren't a whole lot of places that Tony felt safe.

James and Rhodey ended up carrying the conversation. They tried to talk about more trivial stuff to keep Tony calm and collected. James told funny stories he remembered from his childhood, being careful not to bring up Steve in any way. Rhodey would just talk about new science experiments he wanted to try.

About four-and-a-half hour into their talk, an alarm on Rhodey's phone rang.

"Oh shit! I forgot I had physio today!" exclaimed Rhodey as he took out his phone to turn off the alarm.

"Go." Whispered Tony and Rhodey turned to face him.

"Tony, I'm not going to leave you. Especially now!"

"You need to go. You need to get better. Please, Rhodey. Do it for me." Came an even softer whisper.

And that left Rhodey conflicted. On one hand, he knew that Tony was right and that he needed to go. But on the other hand, he really didn't want to leave Tony. He was his best friend. Friends stick together when they're hurt. But, Rhodey knew that Tony also had James. He wouldn't be alone.

"Alright Tones. I'll go to my physio, but I'm coming right back here as soon as I'm done." Tony just nodded and both Rhodey and James shared a look. They silently agreed that one of them would always be with Tony unless a doctor told them to go.

Once Rhodey left James snuggled Tony even closer. He wanted to offer as much comfort as he could before Tony went to surgery. He hummed some old songs and held Tony's good hand in his. He did everything he could think of to lull Tony into some semblance of peace. And it worked pretty well until the doctors showed up.

"Mr. Barnes. You'll need to lave for a bit. We need to get Mr. Stark prepped and ready for surgery now."

James just nodded before giving Tony one last hug and a small kiss on the forehead. When James walked out into the hallway to wait for Tony, he didn't go far. He wanted to be there for Tony the second he was out of surgery. But what surprised James was the fact that not even 5 minutes later one of the doctors had gone out into the hall to get him. Apparently, Tony was completely freaking out and was so curled in on himself that the doctors couldn't even touch him.

"We don't want to just go and sedate him. We feel it will cause more phycological damage if he's not prepared for it." Explained the doctor, "If it's alright, I'd like to see if you could get him to calm down enough so we could get the sedation started." James just nodded and rushed back inside to be at Tony's side.

The second James entered the room he could tell that Tony was distressed. He was crying and shaking as he tried to keep the doctors away from him. And when Tony shouted out "I don't want to hurt. I don't want any more pain!" that was when James himself had to hold back his tears. He was kneeling at Tony's side in second, running a soothing hand through his hair and his other hand over his side as Tony curled tighter into a ball on his left side in an attempt to protect his already injured wrist.

"Shh. Shh Tony. It's alright. It's alright baby. You're safe. You're safe." James didn't know where the endearment came from, but it wasn't something he was going to dwell on. Tony needed him so he had to be there.

"Shh. You're safe baby. You're safe." James kept repeating the soothing words like a mantra as he tried his best to calm Tony down. He hated seeing the man he was so sweet on looking so scared.

An eternity passed in 10 minutes and eventually Tony was calm enough to open his eyes and look at James.

"Hey, there baby doll. You back with me?" cooed James and Tony nodded his head as the silent tears continued to flow.

"I don't want to hurt anymore." Replied Tony, but it no louder than a whisper.

"Tony, I know you're scared. I know. But the doctors are here to help you. I promise you that they'll take care of you." Tony just kept nodding, not taking his eyes off of James for a second. "Why don't we let the doctors help you. I promise I'll be right here with you."

From there, James helped Tony to roll back onto his back. He could feel Tony shaking in fear so he took one of Tony's hands in his and brushing his hair back with the other. Tony didn't dare take his eyes off of James as the doctor pressed a mask to his face. That was when Tony struggled for a moment. He was obviously fighting the anesthesia.

"I'll be right here Tony. When you wake up I'll be right here and you'll be safe. I won't let any of the others hurt you. Never again." And with those words, Tony finally gave in and let the anesthesia send him off to sleep. James let a few tears fall from his eyes as he slowly stepped back from Tony's side and a doctor took his place.

The second that the doctors wheeled Tony away to surgery James dried his tears ran out of the room. He knew exactly who was responsible for all of this. And they had to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… Endgame happened. I won't talk about it here, but I will say that I'm still a massive mess after that movie. Also please don't post spoilers in the comments. That's rude. Although I did write a fic called "The First Time" that's an Endgame fix-it. Give it a read if you want. As for the next chapter. I'm sure you all know what's coming. Be prepared for some beatdowns. I will gladly take suggestions. I'll see you soon -Shadows.


	6. How DARE you hurt him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. It’s new chapter time. Get ready got some angst mixed in with a Rogue Avengers beat down! I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [NFWMB by Hozier ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi6pLTrx94Q)

The second James burst into the living room where all of the Avengers were sitting, he immediately made a bee-line for Barton and hauled him up against the wall by the collar of his shirt. There was a flurry of yelling coming from everyone in the room, but James didn’t care. This was personal and he needed them all to pay for what they’d done.

“Hey! Bucky! What’s gotten into you? Is this a Winter Soldier situation?” worried Steve as he slowly approached James. All James did was growl and push Barton further up the wall.   

“I hate all of you. You almost took Tony from me! How could you do that?! You’re nothing more than monsters!”

“What are you talking about?” asked Romanov with little to no actual concern for her teammate.

“Why would you care? All you guys have ever done is hurt him.”

“He’s an asshole.” Gasped Barton, “He doesn’t deserve anything.”

In seconds James had punched Barton in the nose with his flesh hand. There was a sickening crack as James let go and allowed Barton to slide down the wall and shout in pain.

“What was that for Buck?” shouted Steve and James rounded on him. He stalked forward and got right up close to Steve’s face. He needed to make sure everyone knew how angry he was.

“Your mother would hate you right now Steve. She must be rolling him her grave over the fact that her only son became such a big bully that he pushed a man to try and commit suicide.” Seethed James and the room went so silent you could hear the tiny gears turning in James’s arm.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” asked Scott, his voice full of panic.

“This morning Tony tried to commit suicide. He slit his wrist and he’s in surgery right now getting a feeding tube put in because he’s gotten so malnourished from not eating. A FUCKING FEEDING TUBE! The poor man hasn’t even been eating because every time he comes out to get anything you all yell at him and treat him like garbage. You assholes almost took him from me!” By the end of his rant, James was visibly shaking in anger and there were tears in his eyes.

“So he’s a coward.” Snarked Maximoff and James took the opportunity to kick her into the wall. James didn’t want to fight anymore, but these people had just pushed him too far.

“Bucky, why don’t we all sit down and talk this out.” Pleaded Steve and James shot him another dirty look.

“There is nothing here to talk about. Leave Tony alone. He doesn’t deserve all the pain he’s in. So stop fucking with him or I’ll fuck with you.” Warned James before he made his way out of the room.

As he stomped through the halls, James was quick to realize that he wasn’t alone. Steve had chased him down the hall as he made his way back to medical to wait for Tony. James knew it was useless to try and outmaneuver a stubborn Steve so he turned around to glare at the man.

“What do you want Steve. I’ve already said everything I need to say.” Huffed James.

“I need to know Buck. Was Tony the crush you were describing this morning? Is that why you care so much?” asked Steve and James continued to glare at him.

“He sure is. But what’s it to ya? Even if I wasn’t in love with him I’d still care. He’s a teammate. We should care about each other.”

“I don’t know if dating Tony is a good idea Buck. He’s really volatile and unpredictable.” Argued Steve and James saw red.

“I don’t care Steve. My brain may be swiss cheese but I’m not stupid. I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me. He told me so in a note.” And that was when James lost it crying again.

“Fuck Steve. He left notes. He fucking left notes! He was prepared for this. I don’t think I can ever forgive any of you for this.”

Steve just stood in shock over what he had heard. He wasn’t sure how to process the information he was hearing. So, James used that time to get out of Steve’s space and head back to medical. Tony wouldn’t be back from surgery for another half hour, so James made a bit of a detour to grab so items he knew would bring Tony a little bit of comfort.

James started by stopping off in his room. He grabbed a big earth-toned quilt off of the back of one of his chairs. It was warm and fluffy and James knew it would help keep Tony warm. Medical was always so cold. The second thing James grabbed was a blue fluffy stuffed bunny with brown eyes like Tony’s. James had amassed a good dozen stuffed animals since moving into the compound. He liked having something to hold at night. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal.       

As soon as James had retrieved his prizes he made his way back to medical. One of the nurses was able to show him to Tony’s room so that he could wait for Tony to return from surgery. He still had some time to kill before Tony got out, so James took the time to just dick around on his phone. There were a few mobile games at Tony had loaded on there that James found out he liked playing. It helped pass the time.

The second that Tony was returned to the room, he was still sound asleep. That was good. He needed rest. As the doctors began to adjust all the tubes and wires attached to Tony as well as setting up his medication, one of them took the time to inform James on how everything went. There were no complications and Tony would likely be out for a few more hours. But, because of the new feeding tube and the stress of Tony’s system the room was going to be more regulated. Everyone had to make sure to wash hands before coming in and no more then 4 people could be with Tony at a time. Well, that last rule would be easy to follow. There weren’t a whole lot of people who would be coming to visit Tony.

One the doctors left James took the time to scoot his chair closer to Tony so he could hold his hand. He was so still and cold. If it weren’t for all the beeping monitors James would have thought that Tony was dead. James covered Tony up with the blanket he had brought with him and tucked the stuffed bunny at Tony’s side. Hopefully tony would wake up warm and comfortable. Anything to help Tony feel better.

Turned out that Tony Stark was still a stubborn son of a bitch as he woke up not long after James tucked the blanket around him.

“Hey, there doll. How are you feeling?” asked James as Tony slowly opened his eyes.

“James?” rasped out the man and James ran a hand through his hair in a comforting gesture.

“I promised you I’d be there when you woke up didn’t I?” smiled James and Tony hummed a bit in response.

“Rhodey?”

“He’s still in physio.”

“…good.”

From there it was silent for a little bit. Tony closed his eyes and James continued to run his hand lovingly through Tony’s hair. Tony hummed in contentment and James tucked him in just a little bit tighter in the old blanket. That was when Tony noticed the bunny. He picked it up in his good hand and hugged it close to his chest right over the arc reactor.

“Do you like it? I thought it might help to have something soft to hold onto.” Asked James and Tony turned his head to look at him with his big brown eyes.     

“I’ve never really had a stuffed animal before. I might have had one when I was really little but I think Howard burned it.”

What Tony said made James’s heart ache more than it already did. He wanted to talk to Tony some more, but he was already nodding off again. James helped lull him back to sleep before he got up to stretch his legs a little bit and to find a snack. By the time he got back, Rhodey had finished with his physio and was making his way down to Tony’s room.

“So, how did everything go?”

“No complications. Everyone has to wash their hands if they enter this room because of the infection risk. He was up for a little bit but he’s still tired so he went back to sleep.” Informed James as Rhodey took a seat on Tony’s other side.

“That’s good. He needs the sleep. He’s always been bad at getting enough. Even back at MIT, you’d find him up in the middle of the night building some new robot.” Smiled Rhodey and James smiled back.

From there, they sort of sat in awkward silence for a little bit. Neither really knew what to say. They just ended up sitting there and stewing in the silence. The only noise in the room was the rhythmic beeping of machines and the gentle hum coming from the arc reactor. It was half an hour before Rhodey broke the reverie of the room.

“I can tell that you genuinely care about Tony, so I’m only going to say this once.”

And James just knew he was in for a shovel talk.

“Tony’s as good as my little brother. He means the world to me. Now, the world has tried it’s best to tear him down and it damn well almost succeeded. I will refuse to let anything else hurt him. And that includes you. If you hurt him… If you break him, I will not hesitate to rain down hellfire. Between Pepper and I, we can absolutely ruin you. You’d better not hurt him.”

James just nodded. He didn’t doubt for a second that Rhodey wouldn’t tear the world down for Tony. James was the same. Tony was an amazing person with so much love in his heart. James would smile every time he even thought about him. So, James just knew that he would be there with Tony. He wasn’t leaving.

The next day, Tony started physiotherapy for his hand. He was fortunate to have not cut through any of the major tendons in his wrist, but he still needed to work on strengthening what he did injure. It was hard work. Rhodey would crack jokes before and after to keep Tony’s mind occupied while James held him close when he tried not to cry from the pain. He was sick and tired of crying. Howard had always told Tony that “Stark men are made of iron”. Tony was supposed to be strong. But it was so stupidly hard sometimes.

Tony also started therapy for all the other shit he was dealing with. The first session, Tony practically begged for James to stay with him. Rhodey would have stayed as well, but he had to do something for the UN. Tony understood, but he still missed his brother.

It didn’t take very many sessions for the therapist to give Tony some diagnoses. PTSD from Afghanistan and New York, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Although, Tony had already known about the ADHD. That one wasn’t new. James just held Tony close as everyone discussed the best course of action on helping Tony. Medication would help quite a bit in his case as well as daily therapy sessions that would hopefully decrease as time went on.

Having James and Rhodey around helped a fair bit. One of them was always with Tony. He wasn’t supposed to be left alone. When it was just Tony and James at night, James would tell Tony stories that he remembered from his childhood. He didn’t remember much so one some occasions he just ended up making things up until Tony fell asleep in his arms. Tony seemed to sleep better when he had someone to cuddle. The man was like an octopus.

A week after Tony had been admitted to medical, Steve dared to show his face in Tony’s room. Thankfully, Tony was sound asleep at the time and wasn’t aware that Steve had even entered the room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” growled James as Steve closed the door to the room. He was still pissed at him over everything that had happened.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking after everything you said. I want to apologize.” Spoke Steve

“Tony’s sleeping. And if you’re in here you need to wash your hands. Tony’s at risk of infection.” Argued James and Steve just looked at him.    

“I can’t catch anything. He’ll be fine.” Brushed off Steve and James looked on worriedly as Steve put a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder trying not to wake him up. Steve didn’t stick around too long after that. Tony was asleep and Steve didn’t want to wake him up just to talk.

James knew he should have pressed more of Steve washing his hands and not touching Tony. He knew he should have done more and he felt incredibly guilty. A day and a half after Steve showed up, Tony got sick. He was vomiting, he had a high fever, and he had horrible nightmares. It was horrible to watch, but James and Rhodey did what they could to help.

One night, Tony was absolutely delirious with fever. James held his hand as he cried out about past events as if they were still happening. James’s heart broke as he heard Tony cry about the first arc reactor surgery, about New York, about Ultron, about everything bad that had happened to him. James just whispered promises to be there to protect Tony from all the monsters. Although, James was sure that his promises fell on deaf ears. Tony was crying and shaking so hard that he was sure that he hadn’t heard him.

A day later Tony’s fever finally broke. The medicine finally kicked in and Tony slowly began to feel a bit better. Getting sick had caused Tony to lose more weight, but it was only a minor set back. Tony would get better James was sure of it. He didn’t know what he would do if he was wrong. Tony had very quickly become his whole world. Tony with his big eyes and sweet smile. God, he loved that smile. It was rare, but oh so worth it. James would do anything for Tony, and once he was out of medical, James would make sure Tony knew how much he loved him.

James had gotten into a bit of a habit of cuddling Tony at night. The doctors had noticed that it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon and hot gotten a slightly bigger bed for the two of them. If it bothered Tony at all, he didn’t say anything to James. All he would do was snuggle close and actually get some sleep every night. James actually got some decent sleep too. Both awoke well rested after a late night cuddle. James would often marvel at how well Tony fit next to him. It was like they were made for each other. Like fate had allowed James to live through everything just so he would make it to Tony. And he was grateful.   

“I’ve got you doll. I promise I’ll never let you go. I’ll keep you safe.” Whispered James one night as he spooned Tony up against him and intertwined their hands together.

“I trust you. You’ll protect me from the monsters.”

And with that, Tony finally drifted off to sleep, safe and sound in James’s arms. James just buried his face in Tony’s hair and listened as Tony’s heart rate evened out. He couldn’t help but dwell just a little bit on what Tony had just told him. Tony trusted him, and James knew that he would never break that trust. He loved Tony. He would always keep him safe. Forever and always.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this update was a little late. I’ve sort of been having a hard time in the wake of Endgame. I’ve been fortunate enough to see it three times, (cineplex gift cards are amazing!) and I’ve cried all three times. The nightmares about it haven’t really been helping. Although I did write 2 post-endgame one-shots, The First Time and From the shadows, if you’re interested in reading them.
> 
> Now, some actual notes on this chapter. I hope you guys liked the verbal beatdowns. Those were fun to write. Plus we got some much-needed fluff. I like fluff. Expect some more fluff in the future. I’ll see you next chapter. -Shadows  


	7. I can feel your heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello, friendos. It’s new chapter time. I’ve significantly upped the amount of fluff from last chapter. I think we all need some more fluff in our lives. Also, I just got Invisalign’s so welcome to the “my face hurts writing extravaganza!” Not much more here to say, so I’ll see y’all at the end!
> 
> This chapters song is [The Mentor by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHfal8YwWJw)

Something James very quickly realized about Tony was that he loved to be snuggled. When Tony wasn’t in therapy or getting checked over by a doctor, he was snuggled up with James and Rhodey watching stupid videos on YouTube. Pepper and Happy were in and out. Pepper would drop off things he could sign off on for SI but she tried her best to keep the work to a minimum. Happy would often sneak in snacks for everyone. Tony had put on some weight since he had the feeding tube put in, but it was still a work in progress. It was a really good day when Tony was able to eat a couple of crackers without throwing up.

But back to the cuddling.

James hadn’t realized how touch starved he was until he started sleeping with Tony every night. It was soothing for both of them. They both slept better. Tony was healing better. James felt less like death when he was with Tony. It was perfect.

James couldn’t deny that he felt a certain pull towards Tony. Like the universe was saying “That one! You should be with that one!” If soulmates were real, James was sure that Tony was his. Though they may not have even kissed or really professed their love for each other, James knew that Tony was the one for him. He was already witnessing Tony at rock bottom. He couldn’t wait to see Tony when he was on top of the world. He couldn’t wait to see Tony smile at stupid jokes as he invented the future.

He couldn’t wait for Tony to be his, mind, body, and soul.   

Tony had been in medical for a month when young Peter Parker came to visit. The kid wanted to visit sooner, but Tony didn’t want to make the kid feel bad when he still looked like shit. They still texted and talked over the phone. The days when Peter sent messages about his day were some of the better days. Tony would smile a bit and show James the texts with all the crazy things the young hero had gotten up too.  

But the day Peter came to visit. Now that day was special.

It was a Friday afternoon when Peter swung by the compound. Happy had picked the teen up after school and apparently, he’d been a ball of excitement the whole car ride over. Luckily, Peter was a good listener and had washed his hands thoroughly before he ran into the room and jumped onto the bed. Nobody wanted a repeat of the infection Steve accidentally gave Tony.

James ended up moving to the chair in the room so that Peter could curl up next to Tony and tell him about his day. The kid was so animated as he talked about how he’d won his last decathlon and how he and his friend Ned had gotten a new Lego set. It was nice seeing Tony smiled more as Peter talked.

But one thing, in particular, sent Tony into a fit of giggles.

“So, the other day I was helping Aunt May do the laundry and I decided to set up a memorial to all the sacrificial socks lost to the washing machine.” Spoke Peter as if what he had just said was perfectly normal.

“I’m sorry. Did you just say, “sacrificial socks”?” asked Tony and Peter nodded seriously.

And that was when the laughter started.

It started out as just a small giggle, but seconds later Tony was laughing hysterically. Quickly everyone else in the room was laughing. James was almost doubled over in laughter. Peter was recording the whole thing to show Rhodey and Happy. It was a magical moment. James loved the sound of Tony’s laugh. It was like a drug to him. He just couldn’t get enough.

Eventually, the laughter died down and Peter got out his homework. James loved watching Tony help Peter out with his advanced chemistry homework. Peter was a smart kid, but their current unit was on elements and Peter had chosen to do his project on the one Tony had created. It made James’s heart sing watching the duo get all invested in their science talk. James had been getting better at understanding modern science, but with the way the two were going at it, he still had problems understanding all the nerd speak going on.

By the time Peter left for the evening, Tony was feeling happier than he had in a while.

The days continued moving on and Tony continued to improve. Everyone knew it would be a long journey to get Tony in a better place mentally, but physically Tony was doing way better. If things continued to improve and there weren’t any major setbacks the doctor was considering removing Tony’s feeding tube around the 2-and-a-half month mark. That was a big step.

Rhodey managed to finagle some time off and was spending most of his time with James and Tony in medical. Rhodey brought stories with him. He would regal James with embarrassing stories of the two troublemakers from back in MIT. A few times the stories would make Tony blush and sputter about as he tried to defend himself. James thought that the blushing was adorable and he couldn’t wait to see more of it.

“So, Pepper had to make a statement to the media today.” Started Rhodey when he came in to visit one afternoon.

“About what?” asked Tony and Rhodey just looked on in concern.

“It was about you Tones. People have been asking where you were. You haven’t made any media appearances since before the holidays. The public is getting worried and there are all these rumours going around. Pepper had to put them to rest before all hell broke loose.” Explained Rhodey and Tony looked down at his hands while James tightened his hold on the man.

“What did she say?” whispered Tony.

“She just told the public that you’d gotten sick from an infection caused from a lab accident and that you needed the time and space to recover.”

Tony just nodded and the conversation tapered off a bit after that.

That night as Tony and James were getting into fresh pyjamas Tony asked James a question. Well, it wasn’t so much of a question but what was unsaid was the question.

“You know you don’t have to stay with me every night.” Spoke Tony, but what he really meant was, “Why do you stay with me? Nobody stays with me.” James just sighed and walked behind Tony and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist. One hand held Tony close while the other snaked up and rested above Tony’s heart. They stood there for a second, James resting his cheek on Tony’s head and Tony leaning into the comforting touch.

“Tony, I stay because I care. I want you to be safe. I want you to feel better. I want to be right here with you. And I know you’re going to say I should go back and be with the others, but honestly, I don’t care about them. I care about you. They all fucked up and I’m furious at them. When I’m here with you, I’m at peace.” Smiled James and he lead Tony back to bed.

As Tony fell asleep with his head pillowed on James’s chest, James couldn’t help but think about the three little words he desperately wanted to say to Tony. But now wasn’t the time. Once Tony was out of medical James would make sure Tony knew how much he loved him. He would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry that this one was a little bit of a shorter chapter. I have a couple of other projects I’m working on and I have to carry books for my mom at this upcoming book sale. Last year she came home with 10 bags of books! Now, I love a good book but there is literally no more room in my house for books. Wee keep loads on the floor because the bookcases are overflowing! On another note, I hope you all liked the fluff in this chapter. Fluff is good, especially when a certain spider-son is involved. I’ll see you soon! -Shadows


	8. To hold you in my arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again. I see that it’s time for a new chapter. Again, this one is a little bit shorter but filled to the brim with fluff. Fluff is good. On another note, I’m writing this immediately after the last chapter so let’s continue with the “my face hurts because my orthodontist is a sadist and likes making my cheeks bleed” writing marathon! I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [I can't make you love me by Bon Iver](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp-bPAKLfx4)

Therapy had really started ramping up for Tony. They’d gotten to the root of some of the problems and now they were working on fixing them. One thing that had greatly improved was the fact that Tony was eating again. It may have only been small meals, but Tony wasn’t refusing to eat and throwing up later when he was forced to. It was a wonderful step forward. It helped a bit that sometimes James and Rhodey would sneak Tony bites of more appealing food then what the doctors tried to get him to eat. A person could only tolerate plain oatmeal so many times before it got depressing.

But, with all the progress made Tony received some amazing news. Two and a half months after Tony was admitted to medical, Tony would be getting his feeding tube removed. Everyone was happy with the news. It would mean more freedom for Tony and it also signified the almost end of Tony’s time in medical.   

In the days leading up to the surgery, Tony’s therapy ramped up even more. It was gruelling and often left Tony in tears. James wasn’t much better most of the time. But, there was serious progress made. They all knew that Tony wouldn’t just magically get better overnight, but progress was made and Tony was doing better. It definitely helped to have trusted people by his side to support him. James loved that Tony trusted him.

When the day of Tony’s surgery arrived, the whole room was filled with anxiety. Rhodey wasn’t there. It was just Tony and James. Rhodey was called in by the UN with some of the other Avengers to take down a terrorist threat in Russia. Turns out that HYDRA really doesn’t want to stay dead. So, with Rhodey gone, it was up to James to comfort Tony.

“Do you want me to stay with you again?” asked James as the doctors came in to get Tony prepped and ready. Tony just nodded and looked back at James with fear in his eyes.

“I don’t like this.” Whispered Tony, “It reminds me too much of Afghanistan and having that surgery in that cave.”

James just knelt down at Tony’s side and brushed a hand over his hair in comfort.

“I promise that I won't let anything like that ever happen to you again. You’ll always be safe with me.” Soothed James as he dropped a light kiss to the crown of Tony’s head. With his eye’s closed, he missed the dusty blush that coated Tony’s cheeks.

At that point, the doctors had arrived and had begun to get things ready. Just as they were administering the anesthetic, James made sure to whisper reassurances to Tony as he slowly drifted off. James didn’t want to let go of Tony’s hand, but he knew he had to put his trust in the doctors to keep his fella safe.

His FELLA! Where the hell has that thought come from? James really had no clue. He and Tony weren’t even officially dating. Sure, the feelings were there and James knew he would tear the world apart for Tony. You know what, thinking back on it, Tony was James’s fella. If there was such a thing as soulmates James was sure that Tony was his.

With Tony left in the hands of the doctors, James took the time to actually leave medical for a meaningful amount of time. His plan was to shower and change into some fresh clothes and maybe take a quick run around the compound.

That wasn’t really what happened.

James was able to shower and change. It really only took him 10 minutes total. James grew up in the depression and HYDRA didn’t really give him proper showers. He wasn’t one to waste water. So, after James was all done his shower and had gotten dressed, he made his way out to the common room to grab a water bottle before his run. Just as he was filling it up with water, James was interrupted by a certain super soldier.

“Bucky… Can we talk?” asked Steve and James sent him a bit of a look.

“I was about to go for a run. Tony’s in surgery right now and I promised I’d be back when he wakes up.”

“Tony’s in surgery?”

“He’s getting his feeding tube removed.” Explained James as he screwed the lid onto the water bottle.

“Look, Bucky, I want to apologize for everything. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since Stark ended up in medical. I’ve fucked up. I lied, I made mistakes, and I didn’t think about the repercussions. I was thinking selfishly and acting without really taking into account what I was acting out against. You’re all I have of the past Bucky. I let that cloud my judgement. So… I’m sorry for my actions and all the hurt they caused.” Spoke Steve solemnly and with conviction. He really meant the words he was saying. It was so much better then that shitty ass letter James had found in one of the drawers in the lab. James took a moment to think the words over before he began speaking.

“Steve, It means a lot that you’ve apologized, but I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to. Tony got hurt pretty bad from everything that happened. You guys used him and then used him as a scapegoat when things went wrong. He deserves to feel safe in his own home. He deserves to be able to sleep at night without worrying about who here might hurt him. He deserves to mentor the Spider-kid in peace. He deserves to love freely. I’m not gonna lie Stevie, I’m furious at you and everyone else over what happened. It’s going to take a long time for me to forgive you. But you need to apologize to Tony. He needs to know that You’ll never purposely hurt him again.”

By the end, James was fighting between resignation and anger. He was still stupidly angry at when the Rogue’s had done to Tony, but he was also done with fighting. James didn’t want to fight anymore. He just wanted to spend his days with Tony in the lab working on cars and watching Peter learn new things. He wanted the simple life, well as simple as things could be living in a compound with superheroes.

“Look, Steve, I need to go. I want to get a little bit of exercise in before Tony gets out of surgery. I won't leave him to wake up alone. I love him, Steve. I’m not going to leave him.”

And with that James left Steve standing awkwardly in the kitchen so that he could do a quick run. He only made it one lap around the compound before FRIDAY let him know that Tony would be coming out of surgery shortly and that he should wash up. By the time James was done, Tony was being wheeled back to his room and James was there to hold his hand as he slowly woke up. He kissed Tony’s knuckles and Tony gave a doped up smile. He was still pretty out of it.

Tony slept on and off the rest of the day. James didn’t leave his side. He was there every time Tony woke up. He even managed to get Tony to eat a little bit. The drugs in his system had made him feel nauseous so James counted that as a win.

The weeks passed and Tony recovered from surgery. Rhodey came back from the mission and was over the moon at how well Tony was doing. Things were finally looking up in Tony’s life and both James and Rhodey were thrilled. Tony deserved nice things. He deserved love. And most of all, he deserved to live. The world may have not been kind to Tony Stark, but he was a fighter, and with the people that cared deeply for him at his side, he would make it.       

Finally. FINALLY! After three months in medical, Tony was released. It was a day for celebration. Rhodey made sure that Tony’s room was a clean and comfortable, the old quilt and blue bunny stuffy James had given him were used to make his bed more welcoming.

That night, after Rhodey had left to do some work with training the team, James made Tony a special dinner. He made a light stew with fruit and cream for dessert. Nothing too heavy as Tony was still recovering from that damn eating disorder, but it was special in its own way. With the others gone, James and Tony were able to actually eat in the dining room. James made the whole room look romantic. He set up candles and flowers. He had a plan for the night and everything had to be perfect.

Dinner between the two of them was met with jokes and stories. James did whatever he could to see Tony smile that beautiful smile of him. Not his press smile, but his read smile. And every time Tony laughed it was like angels singing. So, turns out James was a hopeless romantic. Sue him he was a brainwashed assassin for 70 years. He deserved to be as sappy as he wanted.

Once it was time for dessert, James set his plan in motion. He slid closer to Tony and took his hands in his. He could feel that Tony’s were warm. It was such a contrast to the time in medical where Tony sometimes felt cold as ice. But, to continue, James slid in closer and made sure that Tony was comfortable before he jumped into the conversation he wanted to have.

“So, how was dinner doll?” he asked actually despite the fact that they were essentially sharing a chair.

“It was really good. I’ve never really had anybody cook like that for me. Pepper wasn’t really home much to cook and all my previous partners didn’t care enough.” Mumbled Tony as he looked down at where their hands were joined.

“Well, I can promise you that I care Tony. I care very much.” James took in a deep breath before continuing. He hoped that this would go well.

“Tony, I will always care about you. I’m in love with you Tony. And I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say that you’re a fuck up who doesn’t deserve love. That I can do so much better. But I disagree. I think that everything that’s happened had to lead to us being together. I’m so sweet on you Tony. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t want a life without you in it. So Tony, please, I don’t want to live a life without you.”

James had tears clouding his vision as he finished. He looked into Tony’s big doe eyes. Tony also was tearing up. He also looked conflicted. Like he was battling between staying with James and running away. Tony wasn’t used to people doing this. Most of the time they just took what they wanted and left. But James was so genuine when he spoke. He really did love Tony, and Tony loved him back.

“You really meant what you said?” asked Tony and James just smiled and brought up his flesh hand to rest on Tony’s cheek.

“Every word sweet thing. You mean the world to me.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

And with that James leant in and gave Tony a kiss. Not a kiss on the cheek or the forehead. A real kiss. A kiss filled with all the love he could give. A kiss to prove that he wasn’t going to leave Tony. A kiss that conveyed all the words unsaid. Tony melted into the kiss and it felt like nothing else in the world mattered. All that mattered was Tony, James, and the blossoming love they shared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a quick update. I hope you guys liked that ending. I was so excited to finally have them kiss. It feels like a long time coming. I hope you guys stay tuned. There’s so much more fluff to come. And maybe there’ll be more rogue Avenger beatdowns. Those are fun. Well, I’ll be seeing you all soon. -Shadows


	9. Cross my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It’s time for a new chapter. This one comes with a healthy dose of fluff and a beatdown. But still, it’s mostly fluff. I like fluff. Fluff is good. Unless it’s from plants in which case I’ll need my allergy meds so I don’t die. I’ll see you at the end!
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Newspaper by Rachael Sage](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWr0ab9wRXw&list=PLY-Mirc3qLxMZur3n2gD8RvejVxwQTx3k&index=10&t=0s)

Once the two had pulled back from the kiss, Tony was blushing and James was smiling like a loon. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He’d kissed Tony and Tony had kissed back. All he could feel was love. It was a bit of a foreign feeling. Sure, James had loved his family growing up. He loved Steve like a brother. But he’d been such a player before he got shipped out that he’d never really fallen in love with another person. Not until he met Tony. And he knew for a fact that Tony was his one and only.

“I want things to work between us. I want to go steady with you Tony.” Spoke James after a moment of the two of them staring into each other’s eyes.

“I’d like that too.” Whispered Tony with a smile.

The two spent the next hour just sitting together and talking. James made sure that they were holding hands. Both were touched starved after all the shit they’d been through in their lives so the contact was welcome. After FRIDAY let them know that the others were about to return, James took that opportunity to escort Tony back to his room for the night. James made sure that everything was comfortable and homey before he gave Tony a sweet parting kiss and leaving for the night. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Tony’s comfort was his number one priority. It was his new mission.

Once James was certain that Tony was settling well, James made his way back to his own room down the hall. He didn’t bother going to meet up with the others. He was still mad at them, so going to his won room seemed like a good idea. James ended up curling up in bed with one of the books Tony had recommended he read. It was titled “The Hitchhikers Guild to the Galaxy” and James loved it. The humour and science were right up his alley. But, however much James was enjoying the book, exhaustion eventually took over and he fell asleep with the book cascading to the floor.

Thankfully, James was a light sleeper, because around 2 am if FRIDAY was correct, James was awoken to a light knocking at his door. He jumped out of bed and was on high alert as he slowly began to open the door. All that dissipated however when he saw who was on the other side. In front of him stood Tony clad in an old MIT shirt, sweatpants, clutching the blue bunny stuffy and sporting the old quilt as a cape. His eyes were a little wild as if he’d woken up in a panic and his lip was trembling.

“Tony, doll. What’s wrong?” asked James as he gently coaxed Tony into his room.

“I can’t sleep.” Came the almost inaudible whisper. “It’s too big and too dark. I can’t handle it.”

“That’s alright baby. You can stay here if you want. I’ll keep you safe.” Spoke James as he lead Tony over to the bed. James took the time to bundle Tony up nice and snug in the old quilt and James’s sheets. Tony managed to fall asleep in seconds and James couldn’t stop the bubbly feeling that blossomed in his chest as Tony slept gently in his arms.

From that moment on, James made sure that everyone in the compound knew that Tony was not to be messed with. He was not afraid to go all Winter Soldier on their asses if they hurt Tony. That fear actually allowed James and Tony to enjoy some of the common places that Tony had avoided like the plague before. Getting food was infinitely easier than it had been before. James and Tony could actually cook together in the kitchen without fear. It was nice to be able to actually go places other than the lab.

There was one particular evening that James will remember for a while for the comedic value alone. James had managed to convince Tony to come down to the media room so they could watch a movie together. After making sure that it was unused, Tony agreed.

They got 20 minutes into Terminator before Tony was sleeping soundly curled over James’s chest. Honestly, Tony was a bit like a cat when he slept. James found it endearing.

So, with Tony asleep, James hunkered down to watch the rest of the movie. What he didn’t expect was the raucous laughter of Clint Barton and Sam Wilson to interrupt the tranquillity of the moment. The two came walking into the room laughing over some stupid inside joke and it almost caused Tony to wake up. The sleeping man stirred a bit but James covered his exposed ear with his free hand and held him close.   

“If you guys don’t shut up I’ll rip your dicks off and shove them so far up your ass you choke on them.” growled James.

The look of fear to grace the other’s faces was priceless. James made sure to have FRIDAY send the picture to his phone for future blackmail. Once Clint and Sam saw the reason why James was so insistent on them being silent they instantly shut up and got the fuck out of the room.

James had the rest of the night to just snuggle with his fella. It was the most at peace he’d felt since escaping HYDRA.

WIWGTSYS

Two weeks after Tony had been released from medical and became James’s boyfriend, Steve was able to corner him. James had been out on a run and Tony felt brave enough to venture out of his lab in the pursuit of snacks. Just as Tony was about to crack open a bag of dried blueberries he felt a tap on his shoulder. Thinking it was just James Tony turned around with a smile on his face. Although, the smile quickly vanished when he realized who wanted his attention. Taking a deep breath Tony spoke up.

“What do you want Rogers?” came the snarky question. Although, it was lacking any real bite.

“I just want to talk.” Spoke Steve and Tony served him a look.

“I have something I’m working on back in the lab. I don’t really have the time.” Said Tony as he tried to leave the room with his snack. Unfortunately, Steve was blocking the door.

“Look Stark. I just want to apologize for everything. I was wrong to keep secrets from you while admonishing you for the same actions. I was wrong to attack you when you were grieving. I was wrong to go against the accords without reading them nor trying to understand your point of view. I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Yammered Steve. But Tony was skeptical.

Steve was never one to apologize to Tony. Even from the get-go, he always treated Tony differently from the rest of the team. It was like all he saw was the same disappointment of a human that Howard saw. And that alone was only one reason that Tony wasn’t ready to forgive Steve.

“I’m sorry Steve, but I can’t forgive you. Not just yet. I need time to process things. You’ve done way too much to me over the past couple of years for me to just get over it. I need space and time. That’s all I ask for. Space and time.” Replied Tony. Steve wasn’t a big fan of that answer and he tried to grab Tony’s arm to hold him back. Tony flinched away and Steve looked concerned for a second before returning to his default disappointed gaze.

“That’s not fair Stark. I apologized. You can’t just blow me off.”

“I’m not blowing you off. I’m just not currently in a place where I can deal with it.” Spoke Tony as he left the room leaving an angry Steve in his wake.

All Steve could do was head to the gym to take out his anger on a poor unsuspecting punching bag. He would have to have a talk with Bucky about Tony later. Maybe he could get him to talk some sense into Tony. Speaking of Bucky, not long after Steve started his beatdown of the bag, the man in question entered the room all dressed in his workout gear and slightly kiss-swollen lips.

“Hey, punk! Wanna spare?”   

Steve just nodded. Sparing was always a great way to let off steam. What Steve didn’t expect was Bucky wiping the floor with his ass the entire fight. He didn’t hit hard enough to break anything, but Steve would definitely be walking away with a few new bruises.

“What the hell was all that for?” yelled Steve as he lay panting on the floor with Bucky sitting nearby.

“You’re being a dick Steve. As soon as you got close to Tony, Friday let me know. I saw everything. Tony isn’t ready to hear your apology yet. He’s still working through all sorts of other things. I saw the conversation. All he asked for was time and space. You need to respect his boundaries until he’s ready. My boyfriend’s mind isn’t in a place where he can deal with you. So give him time and space and stop being a baby about things.” James rubbed at his eyes before continuing.

“You’re so stubborn Steve. You always have been. That can be a good thing. But right now, it’s not. I don’t mind if you talk things out with me but leave Tony alone for now. He’s still healing. Let him heal then you can talk to him.”      

James got up leaving Steve alone in the gym to think about what he had just said. James, on the other hand, had some plans. Like going back and continuing the steamy make-out session he’d started with Tony. Man, kissing Tony was one of the most amazing things in James’s life. He couldn’t get enough of it.

Two days after James’s little talk with Steve, he and Tony were in the lab working on various things. James was working on his car and Tony was fiddling around with nanites. Tony had been feeling a little on edge since Steve had cornered him, but he was getting better. He still smiled more and James loved it. So, when Tony came up to him looking all nervous, James felt confused. Well, until Tony started talking.

“Hey, um… James. I was wondering… Well… we already sleep together every night. I was wondering if you wanted to move into my room?” stammered Tony. James’s eye’s widened and Tony looked a bit taken aback.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to! It’s just because we spend every night together and my room has more space for both of us and all our stuff. I’m sorry if I’m pressing. It was a stupid suggestion. I’m sor-“ James cut Tony off mid-sentence by giving him a kiss. It was a sweet kiss, nothing dirty but filled with love.

“Tony, I think that’s a great idea. I’d love to move in with you. I’d get even more time with you all to myself.” Smiled James and some of the tension left Tony’s eyes.

That very night James moved his things into Tony’s room. He didn’t have much to begin with. Just his clothes and a few pictures and decorations. James’s favourite was the one he had of Tony and him playing fetch with DUM-E. It fit right in existing décor.   

That night, going to bed felt more natural. This was their space. Space that shared and felt safe in. Both slept amazing that night. James always found he felt better with Tony at his side. He just fit so perfectly into James. Like two puzzle pieces coming together to make a picture of love and beauty. Everything was going well, and James was pleased.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Tony’s doing better so that’s good. Fluff is good. Cuddling too. Can’t go wrong with a good cuddle. Not much I have to say. I just hope this one was good. I’ll see you next chapter! -Shadows.
> 
>  


	10. I'm here baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people. It’s raining hardcore where I live. The perfect excuse to write. I hope you like this one. We get some more relationship development as well as some certain avengers finally pulling their heads out of their asses. AKA people talk things out like adults. I’ll see you at the end. Enjoy!
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Emphasis by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuLfT54jS8A)

Once James began moving his things into Tony’s room and making the space more of a mix of the both of them, things seemed to just fall into place. It was like they had always lived together. They fit together perfectly. It was nice.

The team mostly left them alone. After James’s outburst, Wanda and Clint backed off from their bullying. Steve finally got it through his skull that Tony needed space, so he kept his distance for the most part. What James liked the most was the fact that he could just cuddle up with Tony everywhere. Sometimes he would just snuggle up with Tony in places just to be obnoxious. Like for instance, almost every day over breakfast he would pull Tony onto his lap as they ate. Tony never fought it. He thought it was sweet how much James loved him. But, there was one thing James really wanted to do with Tony. One thing that he never would have been able to do back in the ’40s.  

“I wanna take you out on a date, Doll. Someplace special that we’ll always remember.” Spoke James one night as they were getting dressed for bed. Tony looked over in surprise.

“What were you thinking?” asked Tony once he had gotten his emotions in order. The two climbed into bed and James held Tony close as he talked about his plans.

“I’d like to take you to some little Italian place. Someplace quiet where we won't be annoyed. Then, I’ll take you for some ice cream at the place in Queens that Peter said was the best. Then after we’ll go riding around on my motorcycle. Just cruise around and enjoy being together.” Smiled James.

“I kind of like that idea.” Smiled Tony back at James. They both ended up falling asleep not long after.

Two days later, James held true to his word and took Tony out on a proper date. James got dressed that afternoon in black pants, a red Henley, and this black leather jacket that Tony thought he looked sexy in. Tony, on the other hand, wore a long sleeve grey shirt with one of his old band t-shirts over top and a pair of ripped jeans. Neither were wearing anything fancy. This was a date just for them, they weren’t caring about how anyone else thought they looked.

James did end up taking Tony out to a little hole in the wall Italian place he found in Queens. They laughed as they ate the second best carbonara Tony had ever had. Nothing would ever compare to the stuff his mom used to make when he was little. They continued laughing and holding hands as they walked down the street to the ice cream place Peter had mentioned. The whole time James couldn’t get over how much smaller Tony was next to him. Tony had stopped wearing shoes with lifts in them when he was with James. James thought it was adorable and all he ever wanted to do was scoop Tony up in his arms and cuddle.

Let it be said that that once fearsome Winter Soldier loved cuddles.     

The two spent the rest of the afternoon riding around New York City on James’s motorcycle. They laughed as they felt the wind in their hair. They felt free from all their problems as they cruised around and ignored all the shitty behaviour going on back at the compound.

James fell even more in love with Tony that afternoon. He loved seeing Tony so care-free. He laughed more. He smiled more. He looked more alive. James would never get enough of seeing Tony so happy. After cruising around for a bit, they ended up taking a little walk through Central Park where they made out like horny teenagers under a tree away from the main path. James would never get enough of kissing Tony.

That very same night after what Tony thought was one of the most perfect dates, Tony and James were interrupted. They were just settling down in the media room to watch a movie when both Natasha and Sam entered the room. Both were sporting almost identical looks of shame and apprehension  

“What did you guys do?” quired James. Sam just shifted where he stood while his eyes looked towards Tony.

“We wanted to apologize for our behaviour. We misjudged you Stark. We made poor decisions and you had to suffer the consequences. That wasn’t fair of us.” Started Sam. Tony’s eye’s just widened.

“I fucked up by leaving you when you needed help, Tony. I shouldn’t have gone back on my word and I certainly shouldn’t have stabbed you in the back when you trusted me. I have no valid excuse.” Spoke Natasha.

Tony didn’t really know how to respond to what they were saying. Their behaviour was a bit of a 180 from where it was when they were all fighting back at that airport. Tony just sort of stared at the two for a second before lowering his gaze.

“I accept your apology but I can’t forgive you guys just yet. When you guys said and did hurt a lot. It’s going to take some time.” Responded Tony. James wrapped an arm around his shoulders to help shield Tony from the gaze of the others.

“We respect that Stark. Thank you for hearing us out. We’ll leave you guys be now.” Spoke Sam and soon after he and Natasha had left the room.

Once they left, James pulled Tony in close so that they could cuddle while watching their movie. Tony was a little bit on edge from them being interrupted, but James was quick to calm him down. They both enjoyed cuddling together. It was like they were the only two people in the world.

That night they fell into bed together. They didn’t do anything x rated, but there was some heavy kissing. Although, as Tony fall asleep with kiss-swollen lips nice and safe in James’s arms, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to all the things he wanted to do to Tony in their bedroom. James was far from innocent. He knew what he liked and he could only hope that Tony would like it too. But, he knew he had to start sweet and slow once they were both ready for that kind of thing. All in good time.

The next day as Tony was eating his breakfast of oatmeal and fruit he decided to open up his social media just as something to entertain him. He wasn’t expecting to have made the front page of every news site he had downloaded.

The same picture of Tony and James sitting under the tree in Central Park was spread around with headlines such as “Who is Tony Stark’s new mystery date?”, and “Tony Stark no longer single?” In all honesty, Tony had a feeling something like this would happen if he and James went out. He just didn’t expect for it to happen that fast.  

“Jamie honey, we have a little bit of a problem.” Spoke Tony as James walked over and sat beside him, cup of coffee in his hands.

“What kind of problem?”

“The press has figured out that I’m dating someone.”

“And…” Tony paused.

“I don’t know how to move forward.” James just smiled and put his free arm around Tony.

“Well, just tell everyone that you’re mine. I don’t mind. Just means I get to show you off more.” Smiled James as he lent down a bit to kiss Tony.

“I don’t know James. The media would eat you alive. They’d get all mad at me. They say things. And I know I’ve been dealing with the media since I was 4, but I don’t want them going after you. I’m used to them treating me like shit. I don’t want that to happen to you.” Argued Tony.

What happened next, Tony hadn’t been expecting. He thought that James would agree with him. He thought that the discussion would be over and they would go about their day. Well, Tony was wrong.

“I don’t care what the media says about me. You’re my fella, I only care what you think. Plus, if we tell the media then they won’t stalk us as much. Sure, they’ll know, but we won't need to hide away 24/7. So with that, give me your phone.”

“Why?” queried Tony.

“We’re talking a picture so that you can post it.”

From there James all but snatched Tony’s phone from his hands. In an instant, James gave Tony an overzealous kiss on the cheek that had Tony giggling. And that was the picture that Tony ended up putting on Instagram. Sure, Pepper would probably be a little mad that Tony had gone and done that without warning her, to be fair it was a really cute picture. His captain just made things better.

@youknowwhoiam Yes the rumours are true. I’m currently in a very committed relationship with the very badass assassin @jamesbarnes. He’s the light of my life and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. And to all the homophobes out there, do I look like I care what you think? Get a life #allthehomo #ImBiGetOverIt

Right after he posted the photo, Tony turned off notifications on his phone. He knew it would be blowing up with people going crazy over when he’d just said. Tony was nervous about the whole thing despite the fact that his caption was filled with confidence. James wasn’t worried at all. The world could say what they wanted. He and Tony were in love and James wasn’t going to let some stupid people on the internet ruin it for them.

Just as Tony predicted, about an hour later Pepper called. Sure, she was mad that Tony hadn’t warned her about the post beforehand. But to be fair, the whole thing had been James’s idea so… In the end, Pepper gave them her congratulations on being brave enough to go public. Rhodey was the same when he came over to talk to them.

Later that afternoon while Tony and James were snuggling together on the couch in the lab, they decided to brave the thousands of comments that had amassed on the post. To their surprise, the response was overwhelmingly positive. Most people were commenting on how cute they looked together and gushing about it. Sure, there were the naysayers, the homophobes and biphobes who spat distain and called them sinners. There were a few death threats from those kinds of people and it made Tony feel antsy. But James just held him close and told him over and over again that he loved him.

Love. That was the only emotion the two ever felt for each other.

So, with all the crazy out of the way for the day, Tony and James went their separate ways for a few hours. Tony needed to run an experiment and James wanted to go for a run. He hated running, but it was good for him.

James’s run lasted a little longer than he wanted to and the second he got back he went straight to the nearest shower which happened to be in the gym. He got clean quickly before making his way out of the lab. When he walked in, Tony wasn’t there. There was only one other place he’d be so James made his way to their bedroom.

Once James opened the door and walked in, he was met with a sight that was right out of his dream. Tony was on the bed laying on his stomach facing away from him doing something with his tablet. That was a pretty normal sight. It was what Tony was wearing that set James off like a firecracker. Tony was clad in just an oversized grey sweater that belonged to James and his boxers. James licked his lips before he closed the door and walked over to the bed.

“Hey there Sweet Thing.” Purred James as he trailed a finger up Tony’s back. “What’s with the outfit?”

“I just wanted to get comfortable. Why? Do you like it?” asked Tony as he flipped onto his back so he could look at James with his big doe eyes.

“I most certainly do. I love how adorable you look wearing my clothes.” Smiled James as he snaked a hand over Tony’s hip and laid down next to him.

It only took seconds before they were making out. Tony sighed into their kiss as it got heavy in James’s mission to claim Tony with his mouth. James and Tony let their hands roam. James held Tony by his hips while Tony’s hands tangled themselves in James’s long hair.  

And when Tony let out a little whimper, that was when James lost it.

“Hush baby doll. Let me take care of you. Just close your eyes and let me make you feel good”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, our boys finally got a date and Tony got a decent apology from some of the team. He deserves to feel safe. Plus, it looks like things are going to get heated. Oh boy that’ll be fun. Just a little warning now. The next chapter is VERY NSFW. There’s no plot to it so feel free to skip that one if you want. I’ll put the same warning at the top of next chapter. I’ll see you then! -Shadows
> 
> Check out my Tumblr [lupinthealchemist](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lupinthealchemist)


	11. Bonded with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Just a reminder that this chapter gets very NSFW. If that’s not your thing then just tap out for this chapter. There’s no plot, just porn and James being a sweetheart. If you’re sticking around then I hope you enjoy! I’ll see you at the end.  
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Movement by Hozier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iOOu-Qsyns)

James had been mentally undressing Tony for months now, and to have his fella there in their bed now, all kiss swollen and eager, it was just perfect. James knew he had to take his time with this. He wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted to go slow and soft. He wanted to make Tony feel absolutely amazing. So that’s what he set about doing.

James took off his shirt first, throwing it onto the floor with little care over where it landed. That was a problem for later. He laid back down with Tony and gently pulled a hand under Tony shirt, tracing the skin with his fingers while sucking a hickey onto Tony’s neck. James let out a pleased hum as he felt Tony gasp and curl into James’s side.

“It’s alright baby doll. I’ve got you. I’ll make you feel good.” Spoke James, his words washing over Tony like a deep fog.

James gently eased Tony out of his shirt. His eyes lingered on the scars covering Tony’s torso. There were the scars around the arc reactor, there was a large scar from Steve’s shield that made James feel sick. There was the scar from where the feeding tube used to be, and there were old scars that James didn’t know the story behind. But, despite all of that, James still thought that Tony was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on.

“You’re so beautiful Tony. So perfect. I can’t believe I get to be with you.” James leant down to kiss Tony and was met with his partner smiling at the endearments. James just loved Tony’s smile.

From there James just kept on kissing Tony. Their hands wandered over each other’s chests. Tony’s came to rest on James’s shoulders while James’s hands kept creeping lower and lower until he reached a place that made Tony break their kiss to let out a beautiful moan.

“There we go sweet thing. You just let go and let me do all the work.” Smirked James as he stroked his metal hand over Tony’s length.

James took the distraction to rid himself and Tony as the rest of their clothes, leaving the pair naked and wanting in the middle of the bed. He brought his lips back to Tony’s and drew a sharp gasp that allowed James to deepen the kiss. He would feel Tony bucking beneath him. James smiled. He loved that he was making Tony feel this way.

James’s hand snaked further down and Tony spread his legs in response. It took no thought for James to reach into his side table drawer to pull out a bottle of lube he’d hidden there a week ago. It wasn’t that he’d been anticipating sex or anything. Lube just made things easier, especially for a super soldier with a metal left hand. James drizzled a generous amount of lube onto his normal hand and crawled between Tony’s legs.

“If you want me to stop at any point just tell me doll. I want to make you feel good. Don’t worry about me. Let me worry about you.” Purred James and Tony just nodded and looked up at James with hooded eyes.

James started off easy. He gently circled Tony’s rim with one of his fingers before he gently pushed in. James was extra careful to minimize any discomfort that Tony would be feeling. He saw his partners face scrunch up a bit but that was quickly erased when James found that little bundle of nerves inside Tony. He had Tony arching up off the bed and moaning so sweetly that James was sure that he would come from the noises alone.

From there, one finger turned to two and two turned to three. By the time James had Tony thoroughly stretched he had Tony breathily chanting his name like a mantra. Tony’s hands dug into James’s arms like a life-line and spread his legs wider to give James better access. James growled a bit as Tony submitted to his own desires and he felt a strong surge of protectiveness. Tony was his to give pleasure to, and he was sure to make it memorable.

James took more lube in hand and coated up his length before he leant down and gave Tony a searing kiss. It had both of them moaning and Tony was bucking again as he tried to get some delicious friction.

“Don’t worry doll. I’ll give you what you need. I’ll make you feel good. So, so good.”

From there James drew Tony’s legs up. One rested on his waist while the other sat on James’s shoulder. James slowly pushed in and basked in the incredibly tight feeling around his cock.

“God Tony. You’re so tight. So good for me. Just so perfect.” Breathed James. Tony let out his own little mewls in response.

After what felt like an eternity, James was fully seated inside Tony. Both took some time to just breath and adjust to the feeling. Tony just sighed as James sucked hickeys onto his collar bone in response. But, it didn’t take long before both of them became impatient and wanted more.

“Move, James. Please move.” Moaned Tony and James took that as his cue to start.

He started with slow, deep thrusts. He wanted to work Tony up before bringing the heat. He needed Tony to know that this was all about him and his pleasure. That James would do anything to make him feel good and safe in his arms. Once he was sure that Tony was comfortable, only then did James speed up and go harder. Soon enough the only sounds in the room were the slapping of skin against skin and the breathy moans of the two lovers.

As James thrust in and out of his lover, he couldn’t help but think about the fact that Tony just fit so perfectly around him. How Tony felt so soft beneath his fingers. How Tony looked so delicate under his care. How he was hopelessly in love with him.

And that was when things got intense.

The sheer amount of emotion in the room, as well as James hitting all the right spots inside him had tears falling from Tony’s eyes. He felt ready to burst. There was so much love in the air and James was being so rough but so gentle. The contrasting sensations had Tony crying out so loud in pleasure that both partners were thankful that the falls were soundproof.    

“Jamie. James. I’m gonna cum!” cried out Tony and James felt smug. He’d made Tony feel this way.

“Let go, Tony. Let me see you let go. Let me see you cum on my cock.”

And Tony did. He practically screamed out James’s name as he coated both of their chests with his spend. James wasn’t far behind. Two more thrusts and he was spilling inside of Tony. The rhythmic clenching of his walls milking James for all he was worth. The only sounds that remained in the room were laboured breath and a few choked sobs from Tony.      

“Hey, there baby. Shh. It’s ok. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Soothed James as he pulled himself out of his fog and kissed the tears from Tony’s cheeks as he shook from the aftershocks.

James could tell that Tony was exhausted from their coupling, so he took it upon himself to grab a warm cloth from the bathroom and clean the two of them once Tony had calmed down a bit. Once he was done, James climbed back into bed and pulled Tony’s head against his chest. James held Tony in his arms as if he was the most precious thing in the world. And to James he was. Tony was his. This wonderful man who was slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms was his. And if James had his way he’d never let him go.  

He would treat Tony like the precious thing he was. Tony deserved to feel safe. He deserved to feel loved. And most of all, he deserved to feel all the pleasure James could give him.

As James felt Tony finally drift off safe and sound in his embrace he couldn’t spot himself from placing a lingering kiss on the crown of Tony’s head. He smiled to himself. Everything would be ok. He knew it would.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Thanks for sticking around. I hope you liked the chapter. The next chapter will be more plot-oriented I promise. Although, I think this was a good break from some of the drama. I hope you liked it. See you soon! -Shadows


	12. A little bit of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, would you look at this? It’s a new chapter. This one has some squiggly comic book science. Just don’t question it. Either way, enjoy!
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Young and Restless by Robin Loxley and Wolfgang Black](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JadG1JXV5do)

Tony and James had been having regular sex for about two weeks before they noticed the changes. At first, it was just small things. Things like Tony having more stamina when working out or training in the suit. They just chalked that up to a better diet and a more concrete sleep schedule.

Then there was the fact that Tony was able to lift more weight. They discovered that when Tony picked DUM-E up to move him off of something he was working on. Well, Tony was able to pilot a suit made of metal, it wasn’t a stretch for him to be able to pick up his bots.

Then there were the things that they couldn’t really explain. Things like Tony looking more youthful. His hair was fuller, his wrinkles were gone, and his eyes shone brighter. They could have explained that as Tony being in a better place mentally but living with the others had taken its toll on Tony. There was no fucking way he would have gotten better that fast.  

But the real nail on the coffin, the one that made James drag Tony down to medical, was when they noticed Tony healing abnormally fast for a baseline human.

It all started on what seemed like a normal day. James was looking at paint for the car he was working on while Tony worked on welding a new casing for nanites that he was going to use for a new Iron Man suit. Things were relatively calm. James would look up occasionally and smile at how focused Tony was. He loved seeing Tony in his element. He loved watching his boyfriend’s beautiful mind at work. It would never get old.

Just as James’s mind began to wander to all the amazing things about Tony, he was pulled from his thoughts by a string of very creative swear words. James looked up and saw Tony with a very impressive burn covering three of the fingers of his left hand. James was quick to get up and grab the first aid kit. This wasn’t the first time Tony had hurt himself in the lab and it wouldn’t be the last.

It didn’t take too long for James and Tony to dress and treat the burn. He’d have to take it easy for about two to three weeks to allow it to heal, but James knew ways to keep Tony occupied when he couldn’t do all the work he needed to do in the lab.

Now, the whole situation should have been cut and dry. The wound should have healed and they should have moved on with everything. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, this was not what happened.

Just three days after Tony received the burn, it was gone. The skin was a fresh pink and there was no redness or pain. Tony was completely fine. So naturally the two freaked out and James ended up throwing Tony over his shoulder and dragging him to medical. When they walked in, James plopped Tony down on the bed and the doctor started drilling them with questions.

“When did you first receive the burn?”

“Three days ago. It was on three of my fingers and bordering on a second-degree burn.” Explained Tony.

“Have you been in contact with any magic users?”

“No. and even if I was around Maximoff she wouldn’t heal me. She’d make it worse.”

“Alright. I’m going to run a blood test. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. I’ll send you a call when it’s done.” Explained the doctor as she got the necessary supplies out.

Tony let the doctor take some blood without much of a fight. He didn’t like it but it was necessary. After that he let James lead him back to their room so they could cuddle and watch a movie together. It was moments like this that made Tony feel so incredibly grateful that James was in his life. He felt so love. Even when he was with Pepper he hadn’t felt like this. Sure, they had loved each other, but he and James were basically soulmates.

Three hours later, Tony got called back to medical, and with James in tow, he sat back in the bed and was asked a very peculiar question.   

“Have the two of you been having unprotected sex at all?”

That certainly took James and Tony by surprise.

“Um… we have. But both of us are clean so there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well according to your blood work it would appear that you’ve been contact with some of the super soldier serum. If you’ve been having unprotected sex then it is likely that the serum is transferable through intercourse. Mr. Barnes, if possible I would like a sample of your sperm. I promise the sample will be destroyed as soon as I’ve confirmed.”

James and Tony just nodded along stupidly. James just sort of stood there in shock as he was handed a labelled container and told to return it once it was filled. The two took a few moments to compose themselves before Tony pulled James back to their room to… um… collect the sample.   

James dropped off the sample back at medical and spent the rest of the night cuddling Tony close. He couldn’t help but feel guilty over the whole situation. Neither of them had really thought that there would be any consequences of them being together. If this had any adverse effect on Tony, James would never forgive himself.

“I can hear you thinking Jamie. What’s going on.” Asked Tony. James just sighed and bushed a hand over Tony’s hair.

“I’m so sorry about this Tony. This is all my fault.”

“James, we didn’t know this would happen. We couldn’t have known.”

“But still. We should have been more careful.”

“So what if I’ve got the serum now. It means I’ve got more time with you. We get more time together. You’re my world too Jamie. If I get more time with you, then I’ll take it.”

James just ended up pulling Tony impossibly closer as they fell asleep for the night.

The next morning, right after breakfast, James and Tony were called back to medical with some answers. James was worried while Tony was more anxious for answers. He didn’t like not knowing things, especially when it pertained to him. They both sat down and waited for the doctor to arrive with the test results.   

“Well, Mr. Barnes, Mr. Stark, it would appear that the serum is transferable through the body’s mucous membranes much like an STI. Now, since you already have the serum Mr. Stark, I see no reason for both of you to alter your sex lives, but just monitor things. Now, it’s likely that you’ll have the same abilities as Mr. Barnes, just weaker. More stamina, a healing factor, longer life span, better strength just to name a few.”

Tony and James let out sighs of relief. It didn’t look like there were any negative side effects. That was what they were worried about.

“Also, you may want to warn Mr. Rogers of this development. It may be important information for him to know.”

At that, Tony and James shared a look. A shit eating grin spread across James’s face. He was struck with an idea. An idea that was honestly perfect revenge for all the embarrassing shit Steve had done to him when they were young. It was perfect. Tony just laughed at James's face. He knew exactly what he was planning and Tony was 100% on board with everything.

“FRIDAY, can you tell us where Rogers is.” Asked Tony as the two of them exited medical.

“Mr. Rogers is in the living room along with Mr. Wilson, Mr. Barton, Miss Maximoff, and Vision.” Responded FRIDAY.  

The two of them walked off in the direction of the living room, hand in hand and with matching smiles. Now, neither of them normally condones revenge, but in some cases, it’s warranted. The second James and Tony entered the room time seemed to stop a bit. The game of Mario Kart that was being played stopped and everyone looked over at the duo.

And that was when James proceeded to just tear the room apart with sheer embarrassment.  

“Hey, Steve, Tony and I just got back from medical. If you ever get lucky on a date make sure to use protection. The serum is transferable through your jizz so be careful.”

Steve just sat there on the couch. His face looked like a tomato with hair. Sam, Clint, and Wanda, on the other hand, proceeded to lose their shit laughing at Steve. Tony couldn’t help but join in. Tony was laughing so hard he had to use James for support.

“So how did you guys find this out? Like, how does stuff like that even come up?” asked Clint as he tried to control his laughter.

“Tony burnt his hand a few days ago and it healed really fast. So, we went to medical and that’s how we found out.” Explained James as he continued to look at Steve’s beat red face.  

“I don’t know what I find more interesting. Steve’s face right now or the fact that Stark bottoms.” Laughed Sam as he took another look at Steve’s face. Even Tony could admit that he looked stupid. He was definitely having FRIDAY send these pictures to Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, and Peter. That would certainly make their days.  

That was one of the better days at the compound. There wasn’t any fighting. Steve looked like a tomato, and everyone now knew that they really couldn’t mess with Tony. He had super strength and a flying metal suit. Plus they would have to get through James first and nobody was ready to do that. So yes, it was a good day. And little did Tony know that the days would just keep getting better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter. Ignore my hand-wavy science. This is a world with magic stones and the Hulk. I think we can let this slide a bit. I don’t have much else to say. This chapter was fun to write and I have a very good feeling that you’ll all like the next one. I’ll see you soon. -Shadows  


	13. Just say YES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It’s time for a new chapter. This one has fluff up the wazoo so I hope that you enjoy it. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Helium by Sia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLnpvbBSjUY)

James and Tony had been officially dating for three months by the time it was summer. James said officially but the two had been attached at the hip since the rogues returned. So, they’d been kissing and making love for three months, but in their hearts, they knew there was something more way before Tony even wound up in medical back in the winter.

James knew he was deeply in love with Tony for a long time. He knew it deep down in his soul that Tony was the one for him. He knew he was moving a little bit fast, but James just knew. So, that was why James found himself standing awkwardly in front of Rhodey after one of their physiotherapy sessions.

“So let me get this straight. You’re asking me permission to marry my best friend?” stated Rhodey as he stared down James with such intensity that he felt he might combust.

“That is correct.” Spoke James as he tried his best to look confident.

“You do realize that if you break his heart. If you hurt him in any way whatsoever I will not hesitate to rain down hellfire for him. Tony’s been through enough.” Threatened Rhodey in only the way that an older brother could.    

“If I hurt him I want you to kill me.”

“Then you have my blessing.”

James refrained from jumping around and shouting with glee, even though he very much wanted to. He did race home to start planning things out. He wanted everything to be perfect. Tony deserved nothing less.

Two days later, James decided to go to the city to do some ring shopping. Tony was with Pepper for a meeting in Malibu for the next couple of days so it was the perfect time. James got ready that morning with a smile on his face and a skip in his step. After breakfast, he went to go recruit Steve in his quest for the perfect engagement ring.

“Wait, Bucky, why do you want me to go with you into the city?” asked Steve as James grabbed the keys to one of the less flashy cars.

“Because I’m shopping for an engagement ring for Tony and I’d like some input. Rhodey is busy and you’re like a brother to me. Think of it as some bonding time you’re always harping on about punk.”

“Wait wait wait!” shouted Steve as he grabbed James’s shoulder to get his attention. “You’re proposing to Tony? Are you sure?”

James went and shot Steve a dirty look as they got into the car.

“I am 100% sure Steve. Tony and I belong together. I just want to make everything official.”

“I know there’s no point arguing with you once you’ve made up your mind Buck. So, let's go get a ring.”

The drive into the city wasn’t terribly long. James talked about what kind of ring he was thinking of and Steve gave some input. He was a trained artist after all. Steve had an eye for that kind of stuff. It took three jewellers before James found the right ring. All the others were either too plain or too flashy. There really wasn’t any in-between. James was about to give up hope. He was frustrated. Steve was frustrated. Everyone was fucking frustrated. James didn’t even want to go into the last store. Be he was so thankful he did.

There, in one of the cases in the shop was a simple silver ring with a small blue diamond the same colour of Tony’s arc reactor embedded in the center. It was perfect. James knew right then and there that this was the ring he was going to propose with. He was also extremely lucky that there was a ring there in the size he needed so James was able to walk out of the shop that day with the ring and a huge smile on his face. Now all he had to do was propose.  

James thought about planning something grand and ostentatious, but that really wasn’t them. It was better to keep it simple and personal. Something that would mean something to them. And then it hit him! James knew exactly the best way to propose to the love of his life.

He thought of the idea while he and Tony were fixing the axles on the old car they were refurbishing together. James had finished the first car Tony had given him and he wanted to work on a new one with Tony. It was their project. Occasionally young Peter Parker would swing by and help them out so he could learn more about cars. James loved watching Tony mentor Peter. It made James hope that maybe they could have kids of their own someday.

But that car. That car was something personal. It was their project and their labour of love. It was perfect for staging a proposal.

The day of the proposal, James was a bundle of nerves. He just wanted this to go well. He’d instructed FRIDAY to take pictures and Rhodey was on standby if Tony got too emotional. Hell, James made sure Steve knew what was going down in case he got too emotional.

So when the time came Tony and James went down to the lab to work for the day. Tony had a few projects for SI to work on as well as updating some tech for the team. James had the ring in his pocket. James started out the day reading on the couch in the lab before moving to do some work on the car. After a little while, James took a deep breath and turned to talk to Tony.  

“Hey, Tony baby. Do you mind coming over here and checking the engine of the car? I think somethings wrong with it.”

“Sure thing. Maybe it just needs the Stark touch to get working.”

So, Tony walked over to the car and bent down under the popped hood of the car. As Tony was distracted poking around in the guts of the car, James got the ring out and waited.

“Nothing looks wrong. Everything looks norm…”

And that was when Tony turned around and saw James down on one knee holding the ring. Tony’s hands flew to his mouth in shock and a few tears threatened to spill from his eyes.   

“Tony, I know when we first met we got off to a rocky start. Actually a really rocky start. But I’m so glad I met you. I’m glad you invited me down to the lab to work on the arm. I’m glad you began teaching me about science and pop culture. Tony, you are the strongest person I know. And even when the world tried to take you down, you made it through everything. Tony, I don’t know what I would without you. I almost lost you. And I want to make sure I never lose you again. So, Anthony Edward Stark, will you marry me?”

James looked up at Tony with hopeful eyes. Tony just stood there, hands over his mouth and tears streaming down his face. But when his hands fell there was a brilliant smile underneath. Tony started nodding and James stood up and pulled him into a hug.

“I love you so much doll. I love you forever and always.” Whispered James as he slid the ring onto Tony’s finger.

“I love you too.”

From there, Tony lent up and pulled James into a kiss. It was a sweet kiss. One filled with all the love and affection they had between each other. It was tender and gentle. It was the perfect kiss.

The rest of the day until dinner was spent just cuddling and talking on the couch in the lab. Tony sent off a text to Pepper, Peter, Happy, and Rhodey to tell them the good news. Peter blew up the phone with messages freaking out. Tony and James had a good laugh about that and promised to invite Peter to the wedding. When it was time to go get dinner, Tony and James walked there hand in hand.

Wanda was the first one to spot the ring, and despite her hatred of Tony, couldn’t help but squeal in delight. That was what caught everyone else’s attention. Tony just smiled shyly and pressed closer to James as James told the team the good news. There were plenty of congratulations from everyone, even Clint and Wanda.    

Tony had never felt happier in his life. For the infinite things that had gone wrong, finally, something was going right. James was just so perfect and now he had the privilege of calling him his fiancé! Tony couldn’t stop smiling. And that night just ended perfectly as the two of them made love together in the safety of their room.

Pepper was the one who suggested posting on social media about the engagement. It was mostly to get a jump on the press and control how the information was released. Tony and James couldn’t really think of an argument against it. So later that day, Tony and James posted identical photo sets on their Instagram’s. The first one was of James down on one knee with Tony’s hands covering his mouth in shock, and the second was of Tony wearing the ring. They both posted very simple captions and watched the internet explode around them

@youknowwhoiam I said yes!

@jamesbarnes He said YES!   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! James and Tony are getting married! The next chapter will be a long one covering planning the wedding, the actual wedding, and the NSFW ending. I’ll put a warning next chapter about that. So, because the next chapter will be longer, it may take a little longer to write. But fret not it will arrive and we’ll all cry from feelings! I’ll see you soon. -Shadows


	14. To have and to hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT’S WEDDING TIME! I hope you’re all ready. Just a quick note, when you see this (WIWGTSYS) tap out if you want. That’s where the honeymoon smut starts. It ends when you see (WIWGTSYS) again. Other than that, enjoy the chapter and our babies getting married! I’ll see you at the end.  
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Je te laiserai des mot par Patrick Watson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chWW-sdnSDM)

One thing that Tony and James quickly realized was that getting engaged was the easy part. Planning the wedding was a whole different story. Truth be told, neither James nor Tony wanted anything extravagant. Neither wanted any fancy venue or dinner or reception. If Tony and James had their way they would just have a simple ceremony and then eat dinner with all their friends. Honestly, they really cared about was the honeymoon. They had decided on that way before they finalized anything for the wedding.

Pepper had a bit of a heavy hand in planning the wedding. She kept Tony and James’s requests in mind but also made it so that it was a bit more formal. They would be having the wedding at the compound in the ballroom they had there. It would be decorated in gold and silver to match both James and Tony. There would be pictures and a sit-down dinner and dance. But the wedding would be small. Neither of them really had that many friends. But the important part was that they were getting married.

Getting married gave Tony and James the perfect excuse to up their usual amount of PDA around the compound. They thought it was funny when Steve got all flustered and Clint looked put off. Peter was around a whole lot more. He’d come over most weekends when he wasn’t in school so he could learn new things with Tony. Between James and Peter, they had Tony smiling and laughing more. It made the wedding planning way less stressful.

There where a couple of things Tony and James knew for sure going into their wedding planning. The first thing was that they wanted Pepper to officiate. She was perfect for the job and she took it gracefully. The second thing was that they wanted their wedding to be in December. Both Tony and James wanted to reclaim the month and turn it into something memorable instead of a horrible memory. It was their way of letting go of the past and looking towards the future.  

So, on December 14th, 2017, Tony and James got married.

Neither were really stressed. They both wanted this so bad and they knew that the other one did as well. Rhodey and Peter helped Tony get ready while Steve did the same of James. James was a ball of excitement. He was smiling and happy and it seemed to infect everyone around him. Tony, on the other hand, was a little bit nervous. Rhodey and Peter had to calm him down a bit. He wasn’t worried about James getting cold feet, he was just worried that Steve or someone else would ruin the whole thing.

Luckily that didn’t happen.

As James stood nervously at the altar with Pepper, all dressed in his nice new black suit, he took some time to think. He couldn’t believe that he was actually getting married. Years ago he didn’t even think anything like this was possible. But here he was, all dressed up and getting married to the love of his life.

As he waited, James took a look at everyone in attendance. Their team was there, that was a given. Same with Happy, Peter, and May. Laura Barton was also there with the mini agents as well as Cassie Lang who sat between Hope and Scott. Shuri and King T’Challa were also there. They were friends and were more than happy to attend the wedding. It wasn’t a big wedding by any means, but it was perfect for them.

James got his first good look at Tony as the music started and Rhodey lead him down the aisle. Tony was wearing a matching suit to James’s, but he looked absolutely radiant. His hair was all fluffy and his eyes were shining along with his smile. He looked perfect. Plus, Tony wasn’t wearing his lifts so not only was he beautiful, but Tony was also just the perfect height for James to just scoop up and protect.

When Tony arrived at the altar James took his hands in his and smiled at his soon to be husband. The rest of the world seemed to melt away and all the remained was their love.

“Dearly beloved,” began Pepper, “We are gathered here today to join in the union of James Barnes and Anthony Stark. Now, both of them have made my job infinitely easier and have written their own vows. So James, if you will.”

James looked down at where his and Tony’s hands were joined before he looked back up with a smile and began talking.

“Tony, I will always be grateful I met you. You are the love of my life. You’re my soulmate. And as my soulmate, I promise that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you and our future safe. I promise you that I’ll always try my best to be there for you. I promise to stay by your side through everything life decides to throw at us. I will always keep my promises. So here I am, giving you all my words to say that I love you. I love you Tony, and I can’t wait to spend forever with you.” James had a few unshed tears in his eyes as he spoke. He meant every word. He was promising Tony forever and he wanted to be sure that’s what they got.

“James,” started Tony. His voice was already cracking, “I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you in my life. You’re my rock. You keep the monsters away. You helped pull me out of a very dark place. My life would be a disaster without you. Now, I may not believe in soulmates, but even I can tell that the universe wants us to be together. And I can promise you that I’m never letting you go. I don’t think I could ever be happier. I love you so much James, and I promise to love you forever and always.”  

There where tears streaming down Tony’s face as he finished. This was a day he never thought he would get, but here he was. Tony was getting married to the love of his life. He was allowed to cry if he wanted to. Plus he wasn’t the only one crying. Rhodey and Peter had tears in their eyes as well.  

“Now James, if you’ll repeat after me.” Instructed Pepper. “I, James Bucannon Barnes.”

“I, James Bucannon Barnes.”

“Take thee, Anthony Edward Stark.”

“Take thee, Anthony Edward Stark.” James squeezed Tony’s hands in his and smiled.

“As my lawfully wedded husband.”

“As my lawfully wedded husband.”

“In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, forever and always.”

“In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, forever and always.” James was choking up a bit. At that point, there wasn’t really a dry eye in the room.

“With this ring, I wed thee.”

“With this ring… I wed thee.”

And so James slid a beautiful vibranium ring onto Tony’s left hand. They’d gotten the rings from Shuri as a present. James smiled as the ring fell into place. It was perfect. Soon, Tony would be his forever, and he couldn’t wait to share his life with the beautiful man in front of him.

“Now Tony, repeat after me. I, Anthony Edward Stark.”

“I, Anthony Edward Stark.”

“Take thee, James Bucannon Barnes.”

“Take thee, James Bucannon Barnes.

“As my lawfully wedded husband.”

“As my lawfully wedded husband.” Tony’s voice was cracking as even more tears slid down his cheeks. They were most certainly tears of joy.

“In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, forever and always.”

“In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, forever and always.”

“With this ring, I wed thee.”

“With this ring, I wed thee.”

Tony took his ring and slid it onto James’s left hand. Right into a little groove he had carved into the metal to hold the ring. It shone against the metal of James’s hand and both men became even more giddy with excitement. They were so close they could taste it.

“By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss!” exclaimed Pepper.

James hands slid out of Tony’s and fell to his hips to pull his now-husband closer. Tony’s hands snaked around his neck and the two shared their first kiss as a married couple. It was magical. It was like fireworks and a calm spring day all at once. They both smiled as they kissed. They did it. They were married and so stupidly in love that everything else paled in comparison. As they broke apart they leant their foreheads together and smiled. Everything was perfect.     

“Now I introduce to you James and Tony Stark-Barnes!” Announced Pepper and everyone in attendance cheered.

The newly married couple received a round of congratulations from everyone. Even Wanda and Clint came up to give their blessing. Wanda had been getting better at realizing that Tony wasn’t at fault for everything that went wrong and she wanted to make it up to them, one small act at a time. Clint, after having received a threat of divorce from Laura, had been acting a whole lot nicer to Tony. It was small steps but still steps in the right direction.  

Afterwards, Tony, James, Peter, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, and Steve left to go take pictures. They would take others with the team later, but these ones were just for family. Tony and James were all smiles. They couldn’t believe that they were finally married. It was a dream come true. So far, everything about their day was perfect. The ceremony was perfect, the pictures were perfect even with them taking more than a few silly ones, the dinner and dance was going to be perfect, and they knew that the honeymoon they had planned was going to be perfect.     

After the pictures were done, they all met back up for the reception. They had a nice sit-down dinner and the kids got to run around and play with bubbles. Tony being Tony, made sure that they had a massive dessert bar. Everybody was appreciative of that.   

Tony and James’s first dance as a married couple was magical. Neither man really knew what song to pick so they left it up to Peter who picked some slow song that neither knew the name of but thought it worked perfectly. James held Tony close and Tony rested his head on his shoulder. As they danced the rest of the world melted away, leaving the newlyweds in their only little bubble of bliss. There was only love there.

The rest of the night was a motherfucking party in only the way the Avengers could have one. There was dancing, booze for those who drank, and at one point Clint and Sam started belting out Queen songs. Everyone was smiling and having a great time. There was no fighting and by some miracle, everyone was getting along.

As the night began to wind down, Tony and James said goodbye to their friends and family and got ready to drive to the airport to leave for their honeymoon. Tony was taking James on his private jet to his villa in Italy in the town his mother was from. It was secluded and would be way warmer than the current snowfall in New York. They would be back in time to celebrate Christmas with the other, but for now, this was going to be time just for them.

The whole plane ride Tony and James just curled up together and cuddled. They slept a fair bit too. Their wedding had gone late into the night and sleep was important. James knew that Tony would need the energy for the *activities* he had planned once they landed and got to the villa. James couldn’t wait to get Tony out of his suit and into their bedroom, but for now, he was content to just hold Tony close and revel in their love. Tony was perfect, and James couldn’t believe that he was his forever. Their wedding had been magical, and everything was perfect.  

When they finally touched down in Rome, Tony picked up the car and the two of them drove down to the town of Mondello. It was a beautiful coastal town. According to Tony, his grandparents had had a fishery there that Tony used to visit when his mother took him when he was little. They arrived just in time for dinner. They dropped their bags off at the villa and got changed into some more comfortable clothing before they set off to one of the many little restaurants in the town. They ate and laughed, but James couldn’t help but undress Tony with his eyes every time he smiled. It was time to head back home for sure.      

WIWGTSYS

The second that James and Tony returned to the villa James was attacking Tony with his mouth. His metal hand slid under Tony’s shirt and up his back and he was rewarded with a sweet little sigh from Tony. That spurred James into action. He scooped a now giggling Tony into his arms and carried his husband over the threshold of their bedroom. Let it be known that James was always the romantic type.

James placed Tony down on the bed with tender touches as the two stripped out of their clothes. James climbed back onto the bed and covered Tony with his whole body as they kissed. James held Tony’s left hand in his and felt a wave of possessiveness as he felt the ring on his finger. Tony was his and nobody else’s.

As the kissing became more sensual, James reached under the pillows for the bottle of lube he’d placed there earlier.  He wanted to be prepared so they wouldn’t waste time digging through their suitcases looking for it.

James gently but firmly coaxed Tony’s legs apart so he could take a good long look at his beautiful ass. Tony had a bit of a bubble butt and James absolutely loved to teas it. But tonight wasn’t a night for teasing. This was a night for passion.  

James trailed kisses down Tony’s torso and over his legs as he squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He wanted to prep Tony properly to avoid any pain. James would never ever cause Tony any pain. Not intentionally.

James circled a finger around Tony’s rim and smiled as his husband moaned. They shared hurried kisses as James gently moved his finger in and out of Tony’s body. One finger soon became three as Tony’s body softened under James care. Both men were moaning each other’s names and panting as they got ready to join with the other.    

“I want to ride you. James, please…” breathed out Tony between frantic kisses. And well, James really couldn’t argue.

He flipped the two of them over so that Tony was sitting on James lap while James lay on his back. It didn’t take long before Tony was lowering himself onto James’s length. The two moaned in unison as James’s hands went to grip Tony’s hips while Tony’s ran over James’s chest.

They stayed joined together, sharing laboured breathes as they adjusted to the overwhelming sensations. After a few moments, Tony began to move. At first, it was slow, almost teasing as they both got their rhythm. Once they found it, it was almost animalistic. Tony was letting out load moans every time James thrust in just right and James thought he was going to lose his mind.

“God James. So good. So good.” Moaned out Tony as he fell forward and sped up a bit. James responded by pulling Tony into a sloppy kiss and manhandling Tony’s hips with renewed passion. James could feel himself getting close, but he wanted to makes sure Tony came first. He always loved the sensation of Tony coming around his length.

“Jamie, Jamie! I’m gonna…!” was all Tony got out before his vision whited out with a strangled cry.

James sped up his thrusts, chasing his own release. It didn’t take long before he reached his peak. It only took a matter of seconds before James was spilling into Tony. He bit down onto Tony’s shoulder. Not enough to break the skin, but enough to leave a bruise.

From there James gently rolled Tony onto his back. His eyes were still unfocused and his limbs felt like jelly, so James took it upon himself to clean the two of them up and pull Tony into a soft embrace. Tony was really out of it, so James just cuddled his husband close and enjoyed the feelings of love that seemed to permeate the room.

The two drifted off to sleep with Tony’s head pillowed on James’s chest and James feeling more loved then he had in the past 70 years   

WIWGTSYS

The rest of the honeymoon was perfect just as they thought. Tony and James spent their days walking around the town and lazing around on the beach. Their days were calm while their nights were filled with passion. James could honestly say that he’d died and gone to heaven. He just couldn’t believe his luck in marrying Tony.

Neither James nor Tony could really believe their luck. For Tony, it was because he hadn’t expected to live this long in his self-perceived pathetic life to even see this day. His life had improved immensely now that James was in it and Tony was starting to gain some confidence in himself. It made him smile to think of all the good things that had happened. And Tony now knew that he deserved those good things, all thanks to James.

James, on the other hand, was so happy that he had survived 70 years of HYDRA to make it to Tony. It made all the torture and brainwashing worth it. He’d made it to Tony and was making the most of his new life. Things were finally working out for the two, and they couldn’t wait to see what kind of surprises the future would hold.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Our babies are married and happy. But unfortunately not for long. I think you guys all know what movie is coming up. I promise it won't be as bad as the real thing and I can’t wait for you to see how I’ve changed it. Just a forewarning, the next two chapters are graphic. I have a feeling you can guess why. I’ll be seeing you soon. -Shadows.  


	15. Sticks and Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO INFINITY WAR! This chapter contains some gore and a stupid oversized grape. Also, this one is loooooong. I hope you’re ready to dive in so drop your sock and grab your crocks, it’s about to get wet on this ride. Also, some of the dialogue is taken from the movie for continuities sake. I also took some bits from one of my other fics “More Than He Seems.” Because it’s like 3000 times easier to just change existing stuff than to go and re-watch infinity war and cry over Tony Stark. It’s been over a month and I still cry over that ending. But that’s life. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Arsonists Lullaby by Hozier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eJbxI-jZbA)

Getting married was one of the best decisions Tony and James had ever made. They spent their days working together and their nights cuddling together. Both of them loved to cuddle. It kept the demons of their pasts away while they slept.

The media had actually responded quite well to them getting married. Everyone loved the pictures from the wedding that Tony and James had posted. Once the holidays were over, Tony and James actually got called out to do a few talk shows. People wanted to know what it was like being the first openly gay superheroes, to which Tony promptly corrected them and said that he and James were bi. Although, the interview they did on Ellen was fun. They got to play games and who doesn’t love games.

Tony and James had also started going out on Avengers mission again. Bother were in good health and mission ready. James wasn’t a big fan of most of the mission. He was sick of fighting. Although, getting to blow up the remains of HYDRA was deeply satisfying. Tony also wanted to stop fighting. He’d found his second chance and he just wanted to rest.

Peter had been spending more time at the compound. He was such a bright kid and Tony wanted to make sure he has the recourses to succeed. Peter loved visiting the compound. He’d do science with Tony and James would spare with him to help with his combat training. James loved watching Tony work with Peter. It made him feel all kinds of things.

And those feelings lead to a very peculiar conversation one afternoon in late April. Tony and James decided to head into the city to go walking in Central Park. They loved getting out and away from the compound every once in a while.

“You know Tony, I’ve been thinking about something lately.” Started James as they took a little break to sit by the water.

“What have you been thinking about?” asked Tony as he took James’s right hand in his left. James smiled as he felt the wedding ring there on his finger.

“Maybe it’s time we stop doing the whole hero thing. Maybe we should build a cabin just for us. It could have a lab for you and the bots, and maybe we could have a garden. It would be a safe place for us to start a family of our own.” James looked over at Tony to look for a reaction. He didn’t really know what Tony would think.

Luckily, James was met with a shy smile.

“I’d like that.” Smiled Tony. “I’d like that a lot. I’m so sick of fighting and taking the blame when things go wrong. I’d like a place that’s just ours. A place where we’re safe.”

The two shared a sweet kiss as they sat there. The day was perfect so far. They were planning out their life together. What surprised James the most was that Tony hadn’t completely brushed off the idea of kids.

“I kind of always wanted kids, even if I thought that it would never happen. Working with Peter has shown me that I won’t completely screw up a tiny human.” 

As the conversation continued, the two decided it was time to continue on with their walk. Just as Tony and James began walking together, hand in hand, they were interrupted by a glowing portal opening up and a strange man dressed in a cape walked through.

“Tony Stark-Barnes, I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me. Oh, uh, congratulations on the wedding, by the way.”

“You a magician or something?” snarked Tony and James smiled. Tony had been getting his sassiness back since they tied the knot.

“We need your help.” Stressed Strange. “Look it’s not overselling to say that the fate of the universe is at stake”

“And who’s we?” asked James as he pulled Tony in closer to him.

“Hey Tony.” Came a very familiar voice from behind Strange.

“Bruce? Are you alright?” asked Tony. He didn’t get a reply. All Bruce did as fall into Tony’s arms and hug him close. Tony and James shared a look. They just knew that something bad was going to happen.

They followed Strange through his portal and into a dusty old place on Bleaker Street. There, they were greeted by some other Wizard named Wong who sat them all down in the front entryway. Bruce had detached himself from Tony and took a look at the pair in front of him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” asked Bruce and Tony looked at him dumbly.

“Oh, um, this is my husband James. Better known as Bucky. You know, Steve’s old friend. We got married back in December.” Floundered Tony. “Bruce, what the hell happened? You were missing for years! Where were you?”  

So, Bruce went and explained what happened. He told Tony and James about landing on Sakaar and fighting as the Hulk for 2 years. How Thor and Loki showed up and they fought Thor’s evil older sister and destroyed Asgard. It was all really intense. And then he got to Thanos.

“Tell me his name again.” Asked Tony and Bruce started speaking hurriedly.

“Thanos. He’s a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki. That attack on New York. That’s him.” Everyone looked concerned, but Tony was really worried.

“This is it.” Whispered Tony and James turned to look at him.

“What do you mean this is it doll? Do you know something?”

“I’ve been having visions about something like this happening for years. After New York, I would have these nightmares about what I saw on the other side of the wormhole. They just got even worse after Maximoff got in my head during Ultron. I knew something like this was going to happen and nobody believed me.”

James looked on in horror. He’d known Tony had had nightmares but he never really knew the extent of what caused them. He was quick to pull his husband into an almost crushing hug. If Tony didn’t have the serum then it would have been painful. It was Tony who pulled him out of his thoughts when he looked over at Bruce and started talking again.  

“What’s our timeline?”

“No telling. He already has the power and space stones! That already makes him the strongest being in the whole universe. If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony…”

“He could destroy life on a scale hither too undreamt of.” Finished Strange.  

“Did you seriously just say hither too undreamt of?”

“Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?”

Not even a second later, Strange’s cloak slapped Tony’s ass and James saw red. He pulled Tony in close to him and all but snarled at the man. Nobody touched Tony like that except him. He was so pissed that the Soldier decided to come out to play.

“Mine!”

Strange backed right off. Nobody really wanted to mess with an angry Soldier.

“If Thanos needs all six why don’t we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?”

“No can do.”

“We swore an oath to protect the time stone.”

“And I swore off dairy, but then Ben and Jerry’s named a flavour after me.”

“Stark Raving Hazelnuts.”

“It’s not bad.”

“Well, it’s a bit chalky.”

“I much prefer the real thing.” smirked James as he gave Tony a quick kiss on the neck causing the man to blush.

“"A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge" is our favourite.” Spoke up Wong and Bruce’s looked over somewhat confused.

“Is that a thing?” Wong nodded and Bruce smiled a bit. It looked like Earth really did have a soft spot for the Hulk.

“My point is, things change” spoke up Tony from his place in James’s arms.

“Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change. This Stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos.” Spoke Strange as he glared at Tony.

“And still conversely, it may also be his best chance against us.” Stressed Tony

“Well if we don’t do our jobs!” argued Strange.

“What is your job exactly? Making balloon animals?” jested Tony and Strange got angry.

“Protecting your reality douchebag!”

“Okay, guys, could we table this discussion right now? The fact is that we have this Stone. We know  _where it is_. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone, and we have to find him  _now_.” Yelled Bruce and everyone looked at him.

“He’s in Europe with Maximoff. They went on vacation a few days ago.” Explained James.

“Well, we need to get them back here right now so we can prepare of all of this.” Stressed Bruce. He looked about five seconds away from a full-blown freak-out.

Tony looked over at James and the two shared a moment. Deep in Tony’s eyes, James could see the fear there. This was literally this worst nightmare coming true and neither of them really knew what to do.

“Do you think they’ll listen?” asked Tony, his voice thick with insecurity.

“I’ll make them. This is the worst case scenario. If they won’t listen then we’re fucked.” Spoke James as he gave Tony a small kiss on the forehead.

“Wait, why wouldn’t they listen to you, Tony? This is something important.” Asked Bruce and Tony and James just stared.

“A whole lot has happened since you’ve been gone, Bruce. The team fell apart for a bit. I’ve been in and out of medical for almost two years. Barton and Maximoff haven’t really been helping matters and Rogers isn’t really the most supportive brother-in-law. Man, I’ll have to catch you up.” Explained Tony and Bruce looked absolutely shocked.

“Now is not the time. You need to contact your team so we can prepare.” Interrupted Strange.

Tony grumbled a bit before he went to got out his phone. Just as he was about to call Rogers, Tony heard a few yells and a strange windy noise outside. He looked up at the massive hole in the ceiling and saw leaves and debris swirling around. Looking back at the other, Tony noticed the breeze mussing around Strange’s hair.  

“Say Doc are you doing that?” asked Tony gestured to Strange’s hair. Strange looked up and frowned.

“No…”

And from there all hell broke loose.

Everyone went running outside to see what was going on. It was pure chaos with people running in the streets and screaming. Tony put on a special pair of glasses and ordered FRIDAY to start to evacuate the area. The heroes ran down the street and soon came face to face with a massive circular spaceship that was the cause of all the wind, but Strange was quick to clear the air. He winked at Tony and James sent him a death glare before they turned to face the creatures that had just touched down in front of them.

“Hear me and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the children of Thanos. Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing to the balance…” spoke the smaller creature as he looked at the small assembling of heroes in front of him

“I’m sorry but Earth is closed today.” Yelled Tony, his voice conveying none of the fear he felt. “You better pack it up and get out of here.”

“Stone Keeper. Does this chattering animal speak for you?”

“Certainly not. I speak for myself. There will be no trespassing in this city or on this planet.” Spoke Strange calmly as he and Wong brought up their shields.

“It means get lost Squidward!”

“We’re giving you a chance to leave or things will get nasty.” Taunted James as he stepped closer to Tony.

“He exhausts me. Being me the stone.” From there, the biggest intruder started walking forward and everyone started to get worried.  

“Banner, you want a piece?” asked Tony as he looked to his friend.

“No. But since when do I ever get what I want?”

From there Tony kept his gaze forward while Bruce struggled to bring the Hulk forward.

“Bruce, you alright buddy?” asked Tony.

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a minute.”

“Bruce I don’t think we have a minute. Come on where’s your guy?”

“I don’t know! He and I are sort of having a thing.”

“This isn’t really time for a thing.” Stressed James as they watched the large creature loom ever closer.

“Dude come on. You’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.” Sassed Tony as a way to deflect his fear. “Fine, I’ve got this. Watch my back.”

Tony stepped forward and pulled the zips tight on his jacket showing off his new arc reactor. He tapped it twice and got ready to kick some ass. The nanite suit enveloped Tony’s body like fine silk in what could only be called a reverse strip-tease. James was practically drooling and would have taken Tony right then and there if the world wasn’t trying to end.

As the suit finished forming Tony created a large shield to protect himself from the creature’s attack before he stepped back and brought out what looked like floating cannons to blast the creature far away from them all.

“What the HELL was that!” exclaimed Bruce pulling James out of his stupor.

“It’s nano-tech!” said Tony with pride. “Do you like it?”  

And that was when all hell broke loose. Tony was flung into the air by the more slender creature and everyone got ready to fight. Bruce was sent away to a nearby park so he would be out of the way and everyone else looked around to assess the situation.  

“Tony, what do I do. I don’t have any weapons?!” shouted James as he looked over at his husband.  

“I don’t know! Maybe find a metal pole and use it to hit things? You’re smart you’ll find something.”

Everything escalated quickly. Cars were flying. People were screaming. Tony and James were going everything they could to stay in the game.

“We’ve got to get that stone out of here!” shouted Tony as he dodged a particularly large piece of debris.

“It stays with me.” Argued Strange and the fight continued on.

Tony ended up getting flung into the same park Bruce was in by a well placed hit by the large brute. James went running after him and arrived just in time to block a hit for Tony. Trees were quickly being uprooted as the creature swung around its weapon. Tony ended up flat on his back and was about to try and roll out of the way of a hit when the bit was blocked by a certain little spider all dressed up in red and blue.   

“Hey man! What’s up, Mr. Stark?”

“Pete! What the hell are you doing here?” asked Tony incredulously and James ran over to join them.

“I was on a field trip and I saw the ship so I had Ned cause a distraction so I could come here and help. So what’s this guys deal anyway?”

“He’s from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.”

“Alright. Cool cool.”

There wasn’t much time to continue talking. Tony sent Peter off to protect Strange while the rest of them tried to contain the large creature. James and Tony fought back to back to try and keep all their bases covered. Tony was shooting off multiple repulsor blasts while James shot a few guns he’d found in a destroyed jewelry store. Having actual weapons helped a fair bit.

Wong was there too. Just as Tony was fending off an electric attack, he sent the creature to Antarctica and severed his hand. Just as everyone was taking a second to breathe, Tony received a call through his coms.  

“Mr. Stark! I’m being beamed up!” Came the voice of a very panicked Peter Parker.

“Hang in there Peter! I’ll be right there.”

Nodding to James, Tony blasted into the air to chase after his young protégé. He told FRIDAY to unlock 17-A and a large capsule went shooting up towards Peter who was hanging onto the outside of the ship for dear life.

“Pete, you gotta let go. I’m gonna catch you, ok?”

“But you said save the wizard!”

“We’re too high up, you’re running out of air.”

It only took seconds for Peter’s grip to falter and for him to start falling. Tony watched with bated breath as the capsule splintered open and enveloped Peter in a brand-new nano-tech suit that could protect him from harm.

“Wow! It smells like a new car in here!”

“See you soon kid. FRIDAY send him home.”

Once Tony was sure that Peter was on his way back down, Tony broke his way onto the spaceship to search for Strange and the time stone. He couldn’t let this Thanos character get his hands on it. Tony was just about to start looking when he was told by FRIDAY that he had an incoming call from James.

“Tony, please tell me you’re not on that ship.”

“I’m so sorry Jamie.”

“You’d better come back to me doll. I need you here with me.”

“I’ll try. I promise I’ll try. I love you, forever and always.”

As Tony spoke his last sentence, the connection fizzled out. Tony wasn’t sure if James got the message. He hoped he did. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on things. Despite how utterly terrified he was, Tony had a job to do. Keep Thanos away from the stones.

WIWGTSYS

As the ship disappeared into the upper atmosphere, James watched in horror. His husband had been taken from him and a genocidal maniac was heading towards Earth. He needed back-up and fast. James asked Wong if he could use one of his fancy portals to send himself and Bruce back to the compound to get reinforcements. Wong agreed and soon James was dragging Bruce with him through the halls of the compound as James ordered FRIDAY to call an emergency Avengers meeting.

“Bucky, what the hell is going on?” asked Steve as the team began to gather.

“I’ll leave the beginning up to Dr. Banner.”

And that was when everyone noticed the shy scientist in the corner of the room. His clothes were all torn and he’d looked like he’d fought more than one horrid battle in the last week.

“Bruce!” exclaimed Natasha as she made to get closer to her once almost lover. Bruce just backed up a bit. He wasn’t in the mood for anything.

It didn’t take too long for James and Bruce to explain what had happened. James was a bit of a frantic mess when he talked about Tony getting stuck on the ship when he went to rescue Peter. He needed to sit down for a moment. He only sort-of listened to all the arguing that was going on. They all had much bigger problems to worry about then where Bruce was and if Tony was lying.

“Guy! Stop arguing. I don’t care what petty little problems you guys all have but we need to get to Vision so we can protect his stone. The sooner we so that the sooner we can think of a way to get Tony back with the other stone.” Shouted James as he stared down all the others. It seemed like the Winter Soldier really wanted to come out to play today.

“Fine. We’ll go get him. But you’re staying behind Buck. You’re too high-strung and you need to calm down.” Remarked Steve and James lost it.

“Oh, I’m high-strung! I didn’t notice! Maybe it’s because my husband is in an enemy spaceship flying off to god knows where and I can’t be there to protect him! Maybe it’s because there’s a genocidal maniac heading towards Earth who already has 2 infinity stones and could easily take any of us in a fight! So yes Steve, I’m high-strung! And you can piss off!” shouted James.

Everyone was staring. James didn’t care. His Tony was gone and he needed to solve this fucking problem before trillions of beings got hurt. James ended up storming out of the room while Rhodey got teams organized and alerted the UN and accords counsel to the situation.

James ended up in his and Tony’s room. The bed was still unmade from when they woke up. There were socks on the ground and blueprints on the table. It was their home and it seemed empty without Tony in it. James climbed onto their bed and looked over at the bedside table. Sitting there in his reach was the blue stuffed bunny that James had given Tony while he was in medical over a year ago. James pulled the bunny into his arms in some mock form of comfort. He wanted his Tony. He needed his Tony. He just needed everything to be alright.

James didn’t know how long he’d stayed there on the bed clutching that bunny, but by the time he’d emerged it was dark out and Steve, Natasha, and Sam had returned with Wanda and an injured Vision. Rhodey and Hope were talking strategy and running point on a few task forces around the world to protect people. They didn’t know exactly where Thanos would show up so they had to be prepared.

James took a seat just as Scott, Bruce, and Vision were chattering about what to do with the stone. They knew they had to get it out but none of them were sure how. If anyone of them knew, it would have been Tony. But he wasn’t there. He was stuck up in space.

But then an idea struck him. James knew somebody who was just as smart as Tony and had the tech that could help them. A spunky young girl who had visited a few times because she’d become friends with Peter.

“We need to call Shuri.” Interrupted James as everyone turned to face him.

“Do you think she is willing to help.” Asked Clint.

“She will. She’d got the brains and the tech we need to solve this problem. Plus Shuri loves solving problems and making a mess. She’d be more than willing.” Explained James and everyone just nodded.

“Well, looks like we need to take a trip to Wakanda.” Spoke Rhodey and everyone left to go get their gear ready.

WIWGTSYS

Space was NOT one of Tony’s favourite things. He didn’t like it one bit. Not after the Battle of New York. But, he was there on a mission and he needed to do his job. Tony pushed all his fear down and got to work on locating Strange. It didn’t take him long and soon Tony was standing in an overhang observing the scene. He was about to make a move when he was interrupted by Strange’s apparently sentient cloak.

“Wow, you are some seriously loyal piece of outerwear.” Commented Tony.

“Yeah… about that.” Came a very familiar voice from above. One that had Tony freaking out.

“What are you doing here?” Tony almost shouted before he remembered that he was trying to be sneaky.

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“Peter, you should NOT be here!”

“I was gonna go home-“ Began Peter.

 **“** I don't wanna hear it.” Snapped Tony.

 **“** But it was such a long way down and I just thought about you on the way-“

 **“** And now I gotta hear it.” Grumbled Tony as Peter failed to listen to him.

“...And I kinda stuck to the side of the ship. And this suit is ridiculously intuitive, by the way. So if anything, it's kinda your fault that I'm here.” Finished Peter and Tony saw red. He was so incredibly angry with Peter.

“What did you just say?” Spoke Tony gravely. He was definitely telling May about this when they got back so she could ground Peter’s ass.

“I take that back.” Rushed Peter as he looked at the anger in Tony’s eyes. “And now I'm here in space.”

“Yeah. Right where I don't want you to be. This isn't Coney Island. This isn't a field trip. It's a one-way ticket. You hear me? Don't pretend like you thought this through. You could not have possibly thought this through.” Spat Tony.

 **“** No. I did think this through.” Mumbled Peter as he looked down at his hands.

“You could not have possibly thought this through.”

“It's just- You can't be a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man when there's no neighbourhood.” Tony just looked at Peter but didn’t respond, “Okay. That didn't really make any sense, but you know what I'm trying to say.”

“Alright. We’ve got a situation to deal with now. But don’t think that this is over. You’re in so much trouble kid.”

From there, Tony lead Peter over to where they could see Strange being tortured by the Squidward looking alien. It didn’t take long before the two had formulated a plan. When it came time to execute it, Tony was snarky and on edge. But who could really blame him? He and Peter were not where they were supposed to be. Plus Peter and Strange almost got sucked out into space. Luckily they were fine and everyone made it through in one piece.

Once Tony made sure that Peter was alright he took the time to retract his suit so he could stretch a bit. It didn’t take very long after that for him and Strange to start arguing over whether or not they should turn the ship around. Both sides had valid arguments but in the end, Tony’s plan was better.

“Alright, Stark. We’ll go with your plan. But you have to understand that if it comes between saving you or the kid or protecting the stone, I will not hesitate to let either of you die. I can’t. The universe depends on it.”

Tony just nodded and walked over to where Peter was. He looked the kid in the eyes before he tapped his hand on each of his shoulders like a sword.

“Alright kid. You’re an Avenger now.”

Peter just smiled with glee as he watched Tony walk over to a wall and slid down it to the floor. Peter could tell that he wasn’t doing so hot so he took a seat beside his mentor and leaned up against him.

“Everything’s going to be ok Mr. Stark. You’re a hero. You’ll find a way to beat Thanos and come out on top. I believe in you.”

“Thanks, Pete.” Sighed Tony as he wrapped his free arm around Peter and stared off into space. He needed this all to work out because he didn’t know what he would do if it didn’t.

The two sat there for what felt like hours. They had no idea how much time had passed. Strange had joined then eventually and they all began talking strategy. There wasn’t much they could plan other than the fact that they had to get the stones away from Thanos. Once those were away from his grasp they could work together to take him down.

At one point Peter had dozed off a bit and that just left Tony and Strange in awkward silence. Tony just stared off into literal space as his mind began to wander to places he’d much rather it not.

“Stark! You alright?” asked Strange, pulling Tony out of his thoughts.

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. I used to be a doctor. One of the best before I had an accident. I know when someone isn’t doing fine. You can’t lie to me.”

Tony let out a little huff. He was anxious and he was feeling lost in his head. He was definitely late on taking his medications.

“Look Strange, what do you want me to say. What happened during that stupid Civil War is public knowledge. So I’m certain you know what happened. I’m also certain that you know that they all got pardoned and came back. The only good thing to come out of that was my husband. So yes, I’m not fine. I live in a compound filled with people who despite everything still don’t like me. I’m stuck in space with a kid who shouldn’t be here in the first place. And to top it all off I’m 99% sure I’m late on taking all my medications. So, yes Strange, I feel like shit. But can you honestly say that if you were in my place that you wouldn’t feel the same?” kissed out Tony so he wouldn’t wake up Peter.

But his effort was in vain. Just as Strange was about to reply to what Tony had just said, the ship began rocking wildly and all three of them got up to go see what was going on.

“I think we’re here.” Commented Strange and Tony glared at him.

“Yeah and I’m pretty sure that this thing doesn’t have a self-parking feature. Peter, come over here and help!”

Peter ran over to Tony and did exactly as he was instructed and the two of them tried to bring the ship down as gently as possible. Everyone was in their armour and Strange had put up a forcefield to protect them all, but that didn’t do a whole lot when they smashed into the ground and went flying back. They were lucky nobody was harmed.

“Um… Mr. Stark. Something is coming!” exclaimed Peter as he looked at the two adults.

Seconds later a small explosive went off near them and what could only be described as three idiots barged onto what remained of the ship and started shooting things up. Tony got into an area fight with some guy with a couple of blasters. A girl with glowing antennae was freaking Peter out, and Strange was holding strong. The big guy with no shirt on was yelling something about Thanos and Tony just knew that something was off. He brought the shirtless guy down under his foot to interrogate him but was interrupted by a decidedly human looking man who was behind the blaster.   

 **“** Everybody stay where you are. Chill the Fuck out. I'm gonna ask you this one time. Where's Gamora?” Shouted the man and Tony removed his helmet just to stare down the idiot.

 **“** Yeah, I'll do you one better.  _Who's_  Gamora?”

 **“** I'll do  _you_  one better!  _Why_  is Gamora?” shouted the man beneath Tony’s boot and Tony lost faith in the situation.

 **“** Tell me where the girl is, or I swear to you, I'm gonna French fry this little freak.” Shouted the blaster happy blond man as he held said weapon to Peter’s head. Tony began to panic a little.

 **“** Let's do it! You shoot my guy, I blast him. Let's go!” shouted Tony in an effort to not let his fear show. Tony used his nanotech to make a large electric cannon erupt from his arm and point at the man he had trapped on the ground.

 **“** Do it, Quill! I can take it.” Spoke the man on the floor and Tony was about to shoot him just to get him to shut up.

 **“** No he can't take it!” worried the women with the antennae who was still trapped in Peter’s webs.

 **“** She's right. You can't.” deadpanned Strange as he looked around the room.

 **“** Oh yeah? You don't wanna tell me where she is? That's fine. I'll kill all three of you and beat it out of Thanos myself. Starting with you.” The man pressed his blaster right up against Peter’s head and Tony really started to panic. This would go south real quick if they didn’t deescalate the situation.  

“Wait, what, Thanos? All right let me ask  _you_  this one time. What master do you serve?” asked Strange as he tried to get a handle on the situation while Tony got his head in order.

 **“** What master do I serve? What am I supposed to say? "Jesus"?” snarked the man who had been called Quill by the others. And with that, Tony finally had some information to go off of.

“You're from Earth?” asked Tony as he put away his nano-weapon but still kept the other under his foot.

 **“** I'm not from Earth. I'm from Missouri.” Argued Quill who looked confused.

 **“** Yeah, that's on  _Earth,_  dip-shit. What are you hassling us for?” snarked back Tony as he took control of the situation.

 **“** So, you're not with Thanos?” Spoke Peter had finally removed his mask.

 **“** With Thanos? No, I'm here to kill Thanos. He took my girl. Wait, who are you?” asked Quill as he moved his weapon away from Peter.

 **“** We're the Avengers, man.” Proclaimed Peter with pride.

 **“** Oh.” Whispered Quill as he let go of Peter. Peter ran over to where Tony was as Tony let the large man up from where he had trapped him.

 **“** You're the ones Thor told us about.” Remarked the alien girl as the large grey man pulled the webbing around her arms free.

 **“** You know Thor?” asked Tony as he looked between the three newcomers.

 **“** Yeah. Tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.” At that Peter just gave affronted look. How could anyone think that Thor wasn’t good looking?

 **“** Where is he now?” asked Strange, completely in control of his emotions, unlike Tony who despite having control of the situation was still trying not to panic. .

“He’s off making a new weapon to kill Thanos.”

“Alright.” Started Tony as the group slowly began making their way outside. “We’re all here to kill Thanos. We’re all on the same page. Now we need to think of a way to actually take him down.”

“Well, I say we start with some introductions are in order. I’m Peter Quill, aka Starlord the legendary outlaw!”

So the group went around and introduced themselves. Peter and Quill had a nice laugh when they realized that they shared the same first name. Everything was going well. Well, until Mantis introduced herself.

“Hi, there! My name is Mantis.” Smiled the woman as she held out her hand. Tony, who had taken off his suit because it was a strain on his heart despite the serum, went to go shake her hand.

“Wait! No! Don’t touch her…” shouted Quill, but he was too late. “Hand.”

The second Mantis touched Tony she started bawling deep ugly sobs. Tony looked confused. He had no idea what he’d done wrong. He looked to the other Guardians for assistance but they only looked at him with sorrow in their eyes.

“How can one person feel so much pain?” sobbed Mantis. “How has the world been so cruel? How can a man fell so much hurt yet still feel such great love?”

“Mantis is an empath. When she touches people she can fell all their emotions.” Clarified Quill as he looked at Tony with pity. Tony hated the look.

“Dude, What happened to you?” asked Drax and Peter ended up scooting closer to Tony who was almost shaking.

“Life. Life happened. A few betrayals, a horrible parent, and some time in medical. All I can say is that Captain America isn’t the paragon of virtue. Look, can we just take care of this Thanos thing before we go deep diving into my manic depressive mind please.” Snarked Tony to cover up his emotions.

“But you still feel such love!” remarked Mantis.

“I’ve got Spider-kid here and some good friends as well as a kick-ass husband.” Was all Tony could say.

Everyone just nodded and Quill went to go console Mantis as they troop made their way outside to survey the area for the ensuing battle.  

 **“** The _hell happened_  to this planet? It's eight degrees off its axis. Gravitational pull is all over the place.” Commented Quill as he scanned the area.

Tony looked out over everything. Mantis was jumping around in the low gravity while Drax and Quill walked around. Peter was sticking closer to Tony’s side while Strange went off… somewhere.

 **“** Yeah, we got one advantage. He's coming to us” stated Tony as he turned to talk to Quill. “We'll use it. All right, I have a plan. Or at least the beginnings of one. It's pretty simple. We draw him in, pin him down, get what we need. Definitely don't wanna dance with this guy. We just want the gauntlet.”

And that was when Drax yawned in complete and utter boredom.

“Are you  _yawning?_  In the middle of this, while I'm breaking it down? Huh? Did you hear what I said?” Yelled Tony. He was getting more and more frustrated with these Guardians.

 **“** I stopped listening after you said, "We need a plan."” Commented Drax as he turned his attention back to the conversation.

 **“** Okay, Mr. Clean is on his own page.”

 **“** See, "not winging it" isn't really what they do.” Argued Quill as he looked between his team and Tony.

 **“** Uh, what exactly is it that they do?” asked Peter as he gestured between Drax and Mantis

“Kick names, take ass.” Spoke Mantis.

And in seconds Tony lost all hope of this fight turning out in their favour. This was going horribly. Not only this whole thing with Thanos coming up but the whole damn day. Not only was Tony stuck in space with a bunch of morons, but he’d had his privacy violated unintentionally by an alien, and he was missing James horribly. All Tony had wanted was a nice day out with his husband but he couldn’t even have that.

 **“** Alright, just get over here, please. Mr. Lord, can you get your folks to circle up?” asked Tony. He was so over this whole situation.

 **“** "Mr. Lord." Star-Lord is fine.” Spoke Quill as he motioned Drax and Mantis to come over and join the group.

 **“** We gotta coalesce. 'Cause if all we come at him with is a plucky attitude....” Tony addressed the group.

 **“** Dude don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means.” Jeered Quill, “Alright, we're optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except it sucks, so let me do the plan, and that way it might be really good.”

 **“** Tell him about the dance-off to save the universe.” Interjected Drax with a laugh. Tony and Peter looked on with abject skepticism.

 **“** What dance-off?” asked Tony in horror.   

 **“** It's not a... it's not... it's nothing.” Stuttered Quill as he tried to deflect what Drax had said.

 **“** Like in  _Footloose_ , the movie?” asked Peter, further derailing the conversation.  

 **“** Exactly like  _Footloose_. Is it still the greatest movie in history?” asked Quill, his voice full of excitement.

 **“** It never was.” Laughed Peter. Quill just frowned.

 **“** Don't encourage this, alright?” mumbled Tony as he put his hand on Peter’s shoulder. **“** We're getting no help from Flash Gordon here.”

 **“** Flash Gordon? By the way, that's a compliment. Don't forget, I'm half human. So that 50% of me that's stupid? That's 100% you.” Insulted Quill. Tony was completely unfazed.  

 **“** Your math is blowing my mind.” Bantered Tony. He was more than ready for this whole conversation to be over.

“Excuse me, but... does your friend often  _do_  that?” asked Mantis as she pulled everyone’s attention over to where Strange was.

The man in question was floating cross-legged while shrouded in a green hue. His head was moving erratically, almost as if it wasn’t even attached to his body.  

 **“** Strange, we alright?” asked Tony, his voice laced with concern.

Tony’s voice seemed to pull Strange out of his trace. He fell forward with a shout and Tony raced up to catch him before he fell.

 **“** You're back. You're alright.” Asked Tony as he looked at Strange with concern.

 **“** Hey, what was that?” asked Peter as he too got closer.

 **“** I went forward in time to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.” Panted Strange, his haunted eyes not leaving Tony’s.

 **“** How many did you see?” asked Quill, his voice not coming much more above a whisper.

 **“** 14,000,605.”

 **“** How many did we win?” asked Tony, afraid to know the answer.

“Two. I can’t say much, but I can say that I prefer one vastly more than the other.”

“Ok, alright, we need a plan. I say we do everything we can to trap him. Strange here can cause some distractions. Mantis, you’re an empath, right? Maybe you could get Thanos to fall asleep so we can get the gauntlet off.” Suggested Tony and everyone sort of nodded along. It was a pretty good plan.    

“Should someone try to use the gauntlet on Thanos once we get it off?” asked Quill and Tony looked over in shock.

“HELL NO! I’m pretty sure if anyone who isn’t Thanos or souped up on something would die if they used it! The stones emit gamma radiation. I’ve studied one of them before. Nothing good will come out of using those stones. I’m not letting that thing near my arms. I have my second chance at life. I’m not risking it!”

“Then I saw we got to work. We’ve got a lot of planning to do and not much time to do it.” Spoke up Quill once more. Everyone nodded. It was time to get ready for the fight got their lives.

WIWGTSYS

Meanwhile, all hell was breaking loose in Wakanda. The Avengers had arrived there in the jet and had hit the ground running. Wanda and Steve had gone with Vision to see T’Challa and Shuri while Rhodey explained the whole situation the king's guard. James and the others waited outside to keep an eye on things.

James was just a ball of worry. So much for not fighting. All he’d wanted was to spend a day out with his husband and now he was in Wakanda getting ready to fight off a horde of aliens while his beloved was stuck in space. Nothing was going well and James as a little bit pissed.    

 **“** Hey, Cap, we got a situation here.” Shouted Sam as they all looked up at the sky. Something was coming and it wasn’t good.

Right at the moment a large pyramid shaped ship entered the air above them and smashed into the defensive shield surrounding the city. The ship exploded on contact, but the shield held.

 **“** God, I love this place.” Whispered Bucky as he watched the ship burn.

“Yeah, don't start celebrating yet, guys. We got more incoming outside the dome.” Shouted Rhodey as he turned everyone’s attention to what was going on outside.

“Is not a good time to start freaking out?” asked Scott and Hope just punched his arm to get him to shut up.

Everyone started to gather. It was show time. Once everyone was suited up and ready to go, they all followed the Wakandan armies out to a field away from the innocent civilians still in the main city. James readied his gun and made sure he had plenty of bullets. He was more than ready to kick some ass. But after this, he was done. No more fighting. Just as happy life with Tony. Was that too much to ask?!  

James watched as Steve, T’Challa, and Natasha made their way down to the edge for the forcefield to go talk to two of the aliens there. There was some shouting that James couldn’t make out even with his enhancements. Whatever was said obviously didn’t work as the trio returned looking put off.  

“So I take it that talking to them didn’t work?” deadpanned Clint and Steve just shrugged.

The Avengers and the Wakandan armies watched the outriders pour out of their ships. Steve was talking and T’Challa was chanting something. James didn’t care. All he wanted to do was end this fight and bring Tony home. He would kill as many aliens as he could just to save the love of his life.

James watched his teammates faces as they saw the outriders kill themselves on the barrier. Scott looked like he was going to puke. And who could blame him? The scene was absolutely grotesque. A few managed to get through the barrier but they were quickly taken out by Rhodey, Sam, and everyone with a long range weapon.

As the waves of outriders kept hitting the barrier some began to try and circle around the back. That was when T’Challa made a call. They were going to open a small section to control the flow to keep Vision safe. At T’Challa’s shout of Wakanda forever everyone went running towards the barrier and the outriders started flowing through.   

It took minutes before they were overwhelmed by the onslaught. James felt helpless as he shot round after round into the outrider's skulls. He wished he’d had a better weapon for this fight. Something that didn’t need to be reloaded every couple of minutes. Something that offered better protection.

As more and more outriders came through, James found himself pinned on his back trying to fight with just his hands and feet. He wasn’t the only one. He could hear Steve and some of the others screaming out as they too were trapped by the claws of the enemy. James looked at the situation and honestly thought that he was going to die. He was going to die without Tony by his side. James didn’t want to die. He’d found his happy ending and he wanted to enjoy it.

Just as James was mentally getting ready to accept his fate, the battlefield lit up in bright sparks of lightning. A large axe flew through the air and slaughtered the outriders pinning James and the others to the ground. When James looked up he could see a man he knew from pictures of the old team names Thor, a raccoon with a gun, and a walking tree.

“Ha ha ha! You guys are screwed now!” shouted Bruce and James smiled a bit. Hopefully, Thor would give them a bit of an edge.

“BRING ME THANOS!” came Thor’s war cry and everyone got up and continued the fight.  

There was lightning in the air and it seemed to rain bullets as the fight continued on with force. In what seemed like a fit on either insanity or genius, James picked up the raccoon and spun in a circle so they could shoot a wider range of outriders. Once they had cleared a substantial area, James put the raccoon down and was a little annoyed about what he said next.

“How much for the gun?”

“It’s not for sale.”

“… How much for the arm?”

James just shot the raccoon a dirty look. Tony had made him this arm. He wasn’t going to give it up. He liked the arm. James ended up running back into the fight. They were finally getting somewhere and he knew his help was needed. Just as he was finding his rhythm again, a whole bunch of what James liked to call “spinning death claws” emerged from the forest and started to tears up the area. James ran. That was all he could do. He ran.

As the spinning death claws got closer James was never more happy to see a familiar red mist arrive on the field. For as much as James detested Wanda, he couldn’t deny that she was powerful and useful in a fight.

Unfortunately, having Wanda on the field did have its downsides. Vision was unprotected and because of this he was attacked and ended up on the field with everyone else. All the Avengers who were available ran off into the woods while Thor and the Wakandan armies finished off the last of the outriders. The spinning death claws and Thor had actually taken out most of them and it was just a few hundred stragglers.

With everyone there working with maximum effort, they were able to save Vision and take out the leaders of the fight. It sort of felt too easy. Thor and the Wakandans had just finished taking down the last of the outriders and Shuri had closed the barrier once more. There was nobody left to fight. It was… silent.

Everyone looked around in exhaustion and confusion. Where was Thanos? They’d been expecting him. With nobody left to fight, all they could do was send the wounded back to the city to get help while the able-bodied stayed on the field to keep the area secure. Vision was sent off to finish things with Shuri and everyone just sort of sat around.       

James couldn’t help but look up at the sky. If Thanos wasn’t there then James sure as hell hoped that Tony wasn’t out there somewhere fighting him. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost Tony. He didn’t want to even think about that.

WIWGTSYS

Back on Titan, things were about to get messy. Strange was waiting out in the open for Thanos while everyone else hid in strategic locations. Tony knew the second Thanos arrived. His heart constricted in his chest when the purple titan arrived and stalked over to Strange. Tony watched as Thanos used the reality Stone to show Strange something. Tony wasn’t really paying much attention to what it was. He was just waiting for the signal to go.

The second Tony saw Strange bring up his shields, he knew it was go time. Tony hurled a formidable piece of debris right into the ground on top of Thanos. That only managed to piss Thanos off. Soon, everyone who was an able-bodied fighter was whizzing around trying to land a hit. Tony managed to get in close and get in a few good hits before he was blasted away by Thanos using one of the stones.

Tony heard Strange mention to his cloak to not allow Thanos to close his fist. Good plan. Every time he did it was to use a stone and that never ended well. The fire that Thanos had blasted back at him from his own explosion was enough proof of that. The battle wasn’t really going as planned. Peter hadn’t really listened to what Tony had told him to stay out of trouble and was being pinned to the ground by the titan. Tony was just about to go and save the poor kid when a small ship crashed into Thanos, freeing Peter in the process. A blue chick with a sweet metal arm exited the ship and instantly started fighting Thanos. By the looks on the faces of the Guardians, it was clear that she was a friend.

She was quick to get Thanos distracted enough for everyone else to convene and pin Thanos down. Strange opened a portal above Thanos’ head and Mantis came through and used her powers to subdue Thanos.

 **“** Is he under? Don't let up.” Asked Tony as he wrestled with the gauntlet.

“Be quick. He is very strong.” Cried Mantis as she struggled.

“Pete, help! Get over here. She can't hold him much longer. Let's go.” Shouted Tony. Peter dropped his webs and ran over to help. With the two of them, the gauntlet slowly began to slide off Thanos’ hand.

 **“** I thought you'd be harder to catch. For the record, this was my plan. Not so strong now, huh?” taunted Quill as he landed in front of the group, “Where is Gamora?”

 **“** _My... Gamora...?”_ came Thanos’ voice in a rasp.

 **“** No, bull _shit_. Where is she?” shouted Quill as he got closer.

“He is in anguish!” came a shocked reply from Mantis as she fought the agonizing waves of emotion from Thanos.

 **“** Good.”

 **“** He… he…  _mourns!”_ cried out Mantis.

 **“** What does this  _monster_  have to  _mourn?!”_ asked Drax as he pulled harder on Thanos’ leg

 **“…** Gamora.” Quill looked over at Nebula, his eyes filled with hurt and confusion.

 **“**...What?”

 **“** He took her to Vormir. He’s here but she’s not.” Came Nebula’s stoic yet sad reply. 

 **“** Okay, Quill, you gotta cool it right now, you understand?” spoke Tony as calmly as he could. If he kept Quill calm, they could avoid disaster.

Quill wasn’t listening at all. He slowly turned towards Thanos and began to raise his fists.

 **“** Don't, don't, don't engage, we've almost got this off!” panicked Tony.

 **“** Tell me she's lying.” Shouted Quill as he became more and more enraged.  ASSHOLE! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T DO IT!!!”

 **“** _I... had... to.”_ Was Thanos’ stuttered reply.

 **“** No, you didn't… No, you didn't…” pain and rage contorted Quill’s face as he stared at the man who had caused so much pain. “NO, YOU DIDN'T!!!”

That was when Tony had to make a call. One he hoped he didn’t have to make because that would mean they were down a fighter, but it was either that or risk the death of trillions. So, Tony did the only thing he could think of to keep Quill from hitting Thanos and stopping them from getting the gauntlet.

Tony shot Quill in the head with a repulsor blast.

Now, the blast wasn’t strong enough to kill Quill. It was just enough to knock him out and away from a few minutes so they could get the gauntlet off. It worked remarkably well because seconds later Peter had the gauntlet in his hand and Thanos was fighting hard against Mantis.

“Peter, you take that thing and run. Get as far away from here as possible. We’ll come find you when this is over. Do NOT let Thanos get the gauntlet!” commanded Tony. Peter nodded and started running like his life depended on it.

And they had great timing because just after Peter started sprinting Thanos broke free of Mantis’s control and flung her away.

What everyone very quickly discovered was that Thanos was still extremely strong even without the stones. A well-placed kick sent Drax flying into a long-ago collapsed pillar. It knocked him out. Even with all his spells was still overpowered. A hit to the head, while he was distracted, had Strange stumbling back too far to rejoin the fight. So, Strange went about tending to the wounded. He already knew how the fight was going to end.

It was just Nebula and Tony left fighting. Every time Tony got in close to Thanos he could feel more and more of his armour getting ripped off. His helmet was gone and he knew he had to act now. Nebula had been knocked down by the titan and Tony knew that this whole thing rested on his shoulders. If only Thanos wasn’t so distracting when he talked.  

 **“** Stark.” Scowled Thanos as he stared down the man who had long plagued his dreams.

 **“** You know me?” asked Tony as he did the same.

 **“** I do. You're not the only one cursed with knowledge.”

 **“** My only curse is  _you_.”  

And Tony went ballistic. He shot at Thanos with mini-missiles. He transformed his boots into a rocket and his hands into battering rams. He hit Thanos had and managed to pin one of his hands under his foot. Using the momentum, Tony swung around and hit Thanos hard enough in the face to draw blood.  

 **“** All that for a drop of blood.” 

That wasn’t enough to hold Thanos down and soon Tony was flipped over and punched began raining down on him. Tony pulled all the nanites he could to power his hand repulsors. It very quickly turned into a hand to hand fight and Tony knew what he had to do. He pulled all the protection from his left flank to make a sword. He went straight for Thanos’ head by the was stopped. Tony’s arms were twisted around and the sword broke away when Thanos grabbed it.

That was when the pain hit.

Thanos had stabbed Tony though his exposed side. It was excruciating. Tony had to use all his energy just to think. He refused to let this be the end of the fight. He refused to give in and let Peter fend for himself against Thanos. He was going to win. There was no other option.

While Thanos was there, saying some stupid thing about how he hoped people would remember Tony he failed to see that Tony was using the very last of his nanites to make another sword. So, with Thanos distracted, Tony did the only thing he could think of.

He went for the head.

Tony ignored the blood that splattered over him from Thanos’ stump of a neck in favour of collapsing in a pool of his own. He could see the head of Thanos sitting close by where it had fallen. He had done it. Thanos was dead. He couldn’t believe it.

Tony used what little nanites he could to seal up his gaping wound to stop the worst of the bleeding. Strange and the others who had woken up from their hits were quick to run over to assist Tony. Quill flew off to go get Peter while Strange helped Tony to lay down so he could inspect the wound.

It was bad. There wasn’t any sugar coating it. They needed to get Tony somewhere safe so they could treat him. Tony wasn’t really clued into any of the conversations happening. His head was all fuzzy and he was in an insane amount of pain. He faintly recognized Peter appearing at his side and Nebula taking the gauntlet from the boy. He could see Peter crying, but Tony didn’t really have the energy to say anything.

“We need to get off this planet. Do you guys have a ship for something? We need to get Stark back to Earth.” Spoke Strange.

“We do. It might be a little banged up from the fight but it’s our best option.” Spoke somebody, Tony didn’t know who. He was just trying not to pass out.

Tony felt a large piece of metal being placed underneath him. He screamed when he was moved. Peter was holding his hand and Strange was using his magic to move Tony towards the ship. Tony just about cried when he felt himself being placed on something nice and soft. He didn’t know what it was, but it felt nice. Maybe he could take a little nap. Yeah, that sounded nice. Just a little nap.     

WIWGTSYS

Back on Earth, as the sun was setting on the battlefield, James looked up at the sky and prayed that Tony was ok. He needed to know if he was ok. He would not rest until Tony was back in his arms. He was going to do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes…  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well wasn’t that a wild ride. I hope you all enjoyed it. I firmly believe that they could have won on Titan if Quill hadn’t lost his cool. I also still let Tony kill Thanos. I wasn’t going to take that away from him. He deserves that win without death looming over him. Also, sorry this chapter took so long. As you can probably tell it’s a fuck of a lot longer than the others so it took longer to write. This seems like a running theme with my fics. The IW chapter is always long as fuck! In my fic More Than He Seems, it’s 33000 words! Life is crazy man. Comments and kudos are much appreciated. I’ll see you all next chapter! -Shadows


	16. Home again and in your arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! It’s about time for a new chapter, don’t you think? I’m conveniently ignoring the fact that Strange has the ability to portal everyone home from Titan for the purpose of the plot. I don’t have much to say so, enjoy the chapter. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Ashes by Celeine Dion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiBDvn6-fXU)

While Tony was passed out from his injuries he’d gained in the fight against Thanos, he failed to notice all the shouting going on around him. Quill’s ship had sustained heavy damage in the fight and wasn’t capable of going through any jump points without breaking apart. So, they had to head back to Earth the old fashioned way.

Lucky for Tony, Quill did have some medical supplies on the ship. With a few explanations from Quill, Strange was able to knit together Tony’s wound enough that he wouldn’t die from blood loss. Infection was still a massive worry. They really just had to make do with what they had.

Peter hadn’t left Tony’s side since they’d gotten on the ship. Normally the kid would have been eager to explore and learn everything about the ship, but he was terrified for Tony. It had been two days since the fight and Tony still hadn’t woken up. Peter wouldn’t rest until he knew that Tony was going to be alright.

It was a day later when Tony finally opened his eyes. He wasn’t looking so hot. He shouldn’t have been looking like that. Not with the serum running through his veins. His shin was ashy and he was still in a stupid amount of pain. But, now that Tony was awake, Strange could do a more thorough check-up.    

 “Alright, Tony. I need to roll you onto your side so I can check the back of the wound, ok?” asked Strange and Tony just nodded. He knew things were about to get worse. He was glad he’d sent Peter out of the room.

“Ok, I’m going to turn you on three. 1-2-3.”

And on three Tony screamed. Despite how careful Strange was being, Tony just really couldn’t deal with the pain.

“AAAHHH! Stop, stop! Please stop!” cried Tony as he gripped the sheets of the bed like his life depended on it. “Please just knock me out! I can’t take it!”

Strange was quick to get Mantis to come over and put Tony to sleep. Tony passed out on his tearstained pillow and Strange quickly finished off his examination. There was definitely the beginnings of an infection forming and that worried him.

After a week, Tony was able to sit up and move around a bit. There was an infection but luckily Nebula had something on her that helped a bit. It would still take a while for it to run its course, but it helped a bit. Tony tried to help repair the ship when he could. His body wasn’t up to much so he gave instructions to Peter so he could help out.

At night, Peter stayed with Tony. The poor kid was terrified. Tony couldn’t blame him. He was too. All he wanted to do was get Peter back home where he would be safe and sound. But, until they go back Tony had to be the parent and keep Peter out of harm's way.    

11 days into their trip, the ship broke down. The propulsion was shot and they were dead in the water. Heating and air flow were still working but those only had about 2 weeks left in them. They’d sent out a distress signal but they weren’t sure if anyone had heard it. Tony tried desperately to keep Peter’s mind off the situation. He made sure that Peter ate enough and had some fun. Tony had taught him and Nebula how to play paper football once he was feeling ok enough to get up and sit with them. The face Nebula made when she won one of the games was priceless.

Tony had actually taken the time to talk to her as they sat adrift in the cosmos. They had a lot in common. Shitty fathers who hurt them. Impossible standards growing up. Inferiority complexes. Tony helped fix up her arm when it was bugging her. Nebula was honestly closer to Tony than the other Guardians.

Tony also had plenty of time to talk to Strange. With Tony being mostly bedridden and slowly getting thinner and weaker again, they had plenty of time to talk. They mostly just held normal conversations. Just stupid stuff to pass the time. And then Tony went and asked a question that had been on his mind since Titan.  

“What was the other outcome?”

Strange didn’t even hesitate to answer.

“Half the universe got turned to dust. Thanos destroys the stones. Five years pass. You and what remains of the Avengers use a time machine that you build to go back and collect the stones. You bring everyone back but Thanos from the past gets a hold of your tech and a huge battle with everyone ensues. You manage to get the stones away from Thanos. You ended up snapping your fingers to erase Thanos and his army but it’s too much and you die in your husband's arms. I’m guessing that you can tell that I much preferred the outcome we got.”

Tony just nodded in shock. Yeah, he didn’t really like that outcome either. To have James go through that would have been horrible. Tony finally had something to live for. He really didn’t want to give that up. He would if it was between him and the fate of the entire universe, but he still didn’t like it. Yeah, this outcome was much better.

Around day 15 stuck in space, their food started to run low. They had to ration. Tony only ate enough to keep himself going. He gave everything else he could to Peter. He wasn’t about to let the kid go hungry. Peter would try to get Tony to eat more, but it wouldn’t work.

So, Tony began to get frailer. He was getting just as thin as he’d been back when he was admitted to medical over a year ago. He tried not to let it bother him. He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to make it off this ship alive. James would understand. He would have done the same. But still, Tony couldn’t help but worry. He just wanted to go home.   

WIWGTSYS

After about a week in Wakanda, the team returned back home. Thanos wasn’t coming. If he was he would have attacked by now. Nobody really knew what was happening, but they had the equipment back home to monitor the situation.

Once they were all home, James rarely left his and Tony’s room. It seemed like only himself and Rhodey were the only ones who believed that Tony was alive out there. Everyone else believed him to be dead. Thus, James stayed away from them. He didn’t want to hear any of that. He had to believe that Tony was alive and trying to get home. He had to.

May Parker had been by a few times. Nobody had seen Peter since the New York fight. It only reasoned to say that Tony hadn’t been able to get the poor kid off the ship and back down to Earth. May worried over her nephew, but she knew that Peter would be alright if Tony was watching over him. He wouldn’t let any harm come to that kid. They were practically family. But that didn’t change the fact that both May and James wanted their boys back home.

About 20 days after Tony had disappeared and they all had their fight in Wakanda, Nick Fury showed up at the compound accompanied by a blond woman in a red, blue, and gold suit. The visit was unexpected and everyone had questions.

“Fury! What a surprise.” Commented Steve once everyone was seated in the conference room.

“Well, there was a major alien invasion and Stark is missing. So, I called in reinforcements. This is Captain Carol Danvers. She’s an old friend of mine. She’s part Kree. If more aliens show up or this Thanos guy, she’d the person for the job.” Explained Fury.

“With all due respect Fury, we had the situation handled.” Argued Steve and Fury served him a look.

“Look, Rogers. You guys don’t have as much experience fighting in space. Carol here does.”   

“This Thanos guy, we don’t know if he’s still out there. I’d be more than welcome to go do some scouting.” Smiled Danvers. James looked over at Rhodey. Was he… was he blushing? Now that was a little funny.

“If you find anything, let us know. Who knows what’s out there.” Spoke up, Thor. Thor had been almost as withdrawn as James these past few weeks. He did lose half his people and his brother to Thanos. He had every right to be upset.

Danvers just nodded and made her way out to leave. James knew he had to take a chance. Si, before Danvers left, James ran up to her and pulled her aside.  

“Please, I’m begging you. Please try to find my husband! He was taken to space and I don’t know what happened to him.”

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try. What does he look like?” James pulled a picture out of his wallet to show her. It was of their wedding day.

“He’s cute.” Smirked Danvers and James blushed a bit. Yeah, his husband was cute. Anybody with eyes could see that. “I’ll do what I can to get him back to you.”

And with that, Carol Danvers flew off into space in a flurry of lights. James just stood there for a moment looking up at the sky. He sure hoped that she was able to find Tony. He really needed his husband back.   

WIWGTSYS

Back on the ship, oxygen was starting to run out. Tony had given up all hope of getting back home. So, he used the last of his nanites to make a broken helmet so he could leave one last message to James. Everyone was sort of just milling around the ship so Tony knew he’d have a few moments alone before all hell broke loose.

“Is this thing on?” Tony tapped the helmet and made sure it was recording before he leant back against the wall and began talking.

“Hey, James. Don’t feel bad about this. Although, I don’t even know if you’re going to see this. I almost hope you don’t. I’d hate to make you cry. So, uh... today is day… 22, I think. You know, being adrift in space with very little hope of rescue isn’t so bad. I’ve made a few friends. The infection I have is trying to run its course. It probably would have been over with already if I wasn’t literally starving and dehydrated. We’re almost out of food and water. Not that that really matters anymore. Oxygen will run out in about 24 hours.”  

“If you haven’t already figured it out, I’ve got Peter stuck here with me. I tried so hard to keep him safe. You let May know that alright. Let her know that Peter loved her and that he was safe until the end.”

“We beat him you know. Thanos. He’s dead. I chopped off his head. You won't have to worry about him anymore. It’s all over. You know Jamie, don’t spend too long mourning over me. Part of the journey is the end. Shit happens. I’m just glad I got the chance to be with you. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m just thankful we got the time together that we did. I love you, James. Never forget that. I will always love you. And when I drift off, I will dream about you. It’s always you James.”  

Tony turned off the helmet and proceeded to hobble back to his bed. Peter was already there and he looked terrified. He knew about the oxygen issue and really didn’t know how to deal with that mentally. Tony saw Peter there and collapsed onto the bed. Peter just curled up with Tony and stayed close. Tony put his arms around Peter and just held the scared teen close.

“I don’t wanna go.” Whispered Peter and Tony kissed his hair and gave him a hug.

“Everything will work out Pete. You gotta believe that. Everything will work out.”

The two ended up falling asleep from exhaustion and pain as they waited for the air to run out.

Because Tony and Peter were sleeping they missed the bright glow and rocking of the ship that signified that help had arrived. Everyone else was up and about and were quick to tell their saviour who they were and where they were heading.

“You wouldn’t happen to have someone named Tony Stark-Barnes here with you, would you? His husband asked me to look for him.” asked their saviour who had introduced herself as Carol Danvers.

“We do. He’s hurt really bad. Can you get us back to Earth?” asked Strange and Carol nodded.

“I’ll get you back. We’ll be there in an hour.”   

And from there, Carol went back outside the ship to carry it back to the safety of home while Strange ran off to go tell Peter and Tony the good news. Peter woke up and cried at the news. Tony just struggled to stay awake. He was suffering and in pain so Strange let him sleep until they got back home. It was the least he could do for the saviour of the universe.

WIWGTSYS

It was late at night when the compound began to shake. James shot up from where he was sitting, and along with the Avengers, made his way outside to see what was going on. James nearly cried when he saw Danvers flying through the air carrying a spaceship on her back. She set it down on the ground and the ramp opened up soon after. A few other people walked off the ship, but James didn’t care about them. He just needed to know if Tony was there.

The second James saw Tony, who was being heavily supported by Strange and Peter, make his way off the ship, James went running. He scooped Tony up into his arms and hugged him close. James wasn’t ashamed to say that he cried. He had his Tony back. That was all that mattered.

When James pulled back from the embrace he finally got a good look at his husband for the first time in almost a month. Tony didn’t look good at all. He was pale and sickly. He was thin as a twig. He could see some blood on his shirt on his abdomen and his eyes held a bit of a yellow hue.

“Let’s get you inside doll.” Whispered James and Tony just nodded.

He let James carry him inside. Tony didn’t have the energy to talk. Bruce met them with a wheelchair and a bag of fluids to help with rehydration. James bundled Tony up in the hoodie he was wearing and they got him some dark sunglasses to protect his eyes from the light.   

Tony was mostly unresponsive through the whole thing. He just clung onto James like his life depended on it. Peter and Rhodey also stuck close to his side. Peter looked a little worse for wear but he didn’t look injured. That was good. Everyone who got off that ship looked dead on their feet. Although, not everything was bad. Drax, Quill, and Nebula were reunited with Rocket and Groot, and Strange just looked happy to be back on Earth.

“What the hell happened out there Stark?” asked Steve as he glared at Tony. Tony just shook his head. The movement caused Tony to become nauseous and he had to fight not to throw up what little fluid he had in him.

“You know what Cap?” rasped out Tony as he looked Steve dead in the eyes. “I warned you that something like this would happen years ago. Did you listen? No. No, you yelled at me and then Pointbreak over there held me up by the throat. Everything could have been avoided if one of you had just listened to me! If you had listened I wouldn’t have a KID stuck with me in space from a month while we ran out of food and air. I wouldn’t have this giant stab wound from decapitating a titan.”

Tony then stood up from his chair on shaky legs and James stood up too to keep his steady.

“Tony, hey. Let’s sit down doll. You’re overdoing it. You can yell at Steve later.” pressed James, but Tony wasn’t listening. He walked forward a bit until he was in Steve’s face before he continued.

“I’ve got nothing for you anymore. You’ve lost any respect I had for you even after that stupid Civil War. I’ve got nothing. No trust! Liar!”

Tony fell down to his knees and James, Rhodey, and Peter were right by his side as Tony murmured “I’m fine”. He really wasn’t. Tony passed out in James’s arms and he tried not to panic.    

“What happened out there?” asked Steve again as he went to go and kneel at Tony’s side.

“No Steve! No more! I’m taking him to medical where he needs to be and you’re going to ask everyone else what happened. Tony needs medical attention. Don’t deny him that.” Yelled James and he scooped Tony into his arms and took him and a sleepy Peter with him to medical. Rhodey and Bruce also tagged along. Rhodey for obvious reasons and Bruce so he could be Tony’s main doctor.   

When they got to medical Bruce got Tony stitched up where he needed stitches, started him on antibiotics and got an NG tube inserted so Tony wasn’t losing any more nutrients. Peter crawled onto the bed next to Tony and Bruce got both of them set up with extra oxygen and also gave Peter a bowl of oatmeal and fruit. James and Rhodey sat between the two of them keeping a watchful eye over them. James called May to let her know that they’d gotten Tony and Peter back and she assured them that she was on her way.

Meanwhile back in the main room, everything was in a tizzy.

“So, is anyone going to tell me what happened out there?” demanded Steve and the Guardians gave him a bit of a dirty look.

“You know, if you had asked nicely and not accosted someone who was hurt really badly we would have told you right away.” Snarked Quill.

“Look, Thanos is still out there! If you have information we need to know!”

“Dude, Thanos is dead. Tony chopped his head off. He’s super dead.” Commented Quill.

You could have heard a pin drop in that room. The Avengers were in shock. Thanos was dead and Tony had killed him? It would have been unbelievable if most of the others didn’t know how powerful Tony could be when pushed into a corner.

So, Strange went and explained what happened. How they fought an alien on that spaceship. How they all met on Titan. How he used the time stone to see all the alternate timelines. How Tony took control of the situation and had taken on Thanos by himself in the end and had won. How Tony did everything to keep Peter going while they were stuck in space.

The Avengers all looked at each other as the story continued. They owed Tony big time. Half the universe would be dead if it wasn’t for him. Most of them felt shameful over how they had treated him. And now, Tony was sick and in medical again. They really owed Tony.

As the rest of the Avengers sort of stood around in shock, Strange took the opportunity to lock the infinity gauntlet in a pocket dimension to keep it out of the wrong hands. Nobody wanted another Thanos.

Over the next couple of days, Tony mostly slept. He would wake up for short periods of time to talk to his friends, but he mostly slept and healed. Peter was the one to fill James and Rhodey in on what had happened in the last month. May came by and stayed with them and kept the room sane. When Tony was awake he and James talked about getting their house in the woods away from the compound. Both of them were ready to retire and move on with their lives. Tony was more than ready. It was time to hang up the suit and move on. Sure, he’d still mentor Peter and fix up Rhodey’s suit, but after almost dying in space, he was done.

By the end of the week, Tony was healing up well. The serum had finally kicked in and he looked so much better than he had been. Although Tony was still exhausted. Peter had gone home and called every day to let Tony know how he was doing. Tony still slept a lot. It was actually one afternoon when he was sleeping that Thor came to visit and set in motion a great change in both Tony and James’s lives. They just didn’t know it at the time.

“Thor how are you doing?” asked James as Thor entered the room.

“I’m alright. I came down here to talk to Tony but it appears he’s asleep.”

“Yeah, he needs his rest. What did you want to talk about?” asked James and Thor walked over to where Tony was resting.

“I wanted to thank him for everything he’s done to protect others. I also wanted to apologize for my previous behaviour towards him. He didn’t deserve it. He was right and he should have had more support when fighting Thanos.” Explained Thor and James just nodded. Thor was genuine in what he said and James knew that Tony would accept the apology when he woke up.

“I’m glad to hear your apology. I’m sure Tony will be thankful to hear it too.”

“I’ve heard a rumour that the two of you are planning to leave the compound.” Spoke Thor as he tried to keep the conversation going.    

“We’re gonna retire from the whole superhero thing. Build a cottage on the water. Maybe start a family.” Smiled James and Thor looked at him with thoughtfulness in his eyes.

“A family you say?”

“Yeah. We’re still discussing it, but I’d love to have kids someday. Tony’s so good with Peter. He’d make an amazing parent.”

And that was when Thor thought of the perfect way to thank Tony for everything he’d done. He’d use his own magic and godly title to give Tony and James a gift and a blessing that would add joy to their life.

“I’m sure he would be. Tony is a very thoughtful person. I’m glad he made it back.” Smiled Thor as he stood up and gently placed his hand over Tony’s abdomen. The whole time he kept the conversation with James going so James didn’t notice what he was doing.

When James bid him goodnight, Thor felt good knowing he had given Tony and James a gift that would bring them closer together once Tony was all healed up and better.

A week later Tony was much better health and was allowed to head out with James. Some of the others had thrown a little party to celebrate Tony being released from medical. The Guardians where there, as well as Peter, May, and some of the Avengers. It was a more subdued party, but there were cupcakes so Tony was happy. Later the next day, Tony and James started to draw up the plans for their new house. They wanted to take their time to make sure it was perfect for the two of them. They had time now. They had time to live and just be together. Despite everything that had happened, life was finally going right. Life was perfect and both James and Tony were thankful.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Tony is home and everyone lives. I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out a way to save Gamora. I’m sad about it too. I hope you’ve all looked at the tags/synopsis because this next bit is where I might lose some of you. Either way, I’m excited about this next part. Just a warning, the next chapter is going to have some smut. I’ll put a warning at the beginning. Comments are much appreciated. I’ll see you soon. -Shadows


	17. Take me away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. I hope you’re ready for a new chapter. This one is mostly smut but there is a little bit of plot at the beginning and at the very end. I’ve blocked everything off for those who don’t want to read the smut. So, with that in mind, enjoy! I’ll see you at the end.
> 
>  
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u5gDCNwTiw) 

Tony and James spent most of their days down in the lab working on building the new house. Peter swung by after school most days to get help studying for exams and both Rhodey and Bruce were in and out just doing stuff.

The second week of June, Tony and James drove out to go look at the plot of land they were thinking of purchasing. It was perfect. It was on the water. Not a to far drive from the city so Peter could come visit, and it was secluded. It was the perfect place for the two of them to start the next chapter of their lives together.

So, with the land all purchased, all Tony and James had to do was finish designing the house. Tony wanted to do it himself. He’d designed his old Malibu house himself and he wanted to do the same with this one. Two things he and James were quick to agree in were that Tony needed separate lab space and that they wanted a large front porch. They wanted a place to sit and watch the sunset over the water when the weather was nice. They also wanted 5 bedrooms. They wanted space if they had guests over. Plus they needed a room for Peter when he was over to visit.

The rest of the house was still up for debate. But neither of them were worried. They had time. Both Tony and James had informed the UN that they would be stepping down as Avengers soon and were preparing for another press conference to let the world know. They’d just finished one where everyone had to explain what had happened with Thanos. Tony was being heralded the saviour of the universe and celebrated for killing Thanos. It kind of pissed some of the other Avengers off but they didn’t say anything. After all, Tony had saved the universe with his actions.

Having now stepped down from being heroes, Tony and James found that they had more time for themselves. So, one calm night in mid-June, they fully took advantage of that.    

WIWGTSYS

“God Tony, you looked so sexy today. All sweaty and working hard in the lab.” Purred James as he kissed down Tony’s throat.

“Hmm. Only for you hot stuff.” Grunted Tony as James’s hands wandered down over his ass.

“So glad I get to have you baby doll. Make up for not being able to make love to you on your birthday.”  Purred James as he got to stripping Tony and himself out of their clothes.

James took great joy in uncovering Tony’s body. Tony was a gift and he deserved to be treated as such. As James eased the clothing off of Tony’s body, he took the time to kiss wherever he could. In no time he and Tony were naked and wanting and clambering onto their bed. James had Tony lay down on his back while James hovered over top of him. The two shared a heated kiss while their hands wandered over each other. Tony’s hands ended up winding themselves into James’s long hair while James reached over to the nightstand to grab the lube.

James left teasing marks over Tony’s body as his metal hand wandered down over Tony’s length. Tony just sighed and opened up his legs for James to admire his ass. James felt Tony’s breath stutter as he lubed up one of his fingers and pressed inside his husband. He just loved how submissive Tony got in bed.

James slowly teased Tony open. The whole time he drunk in all the little wines and moans Tony let out as he let James made sure he was nice and open for him. He never wanted to hurt Tony, he only wanted to give him pleasure.

Once James was sure that Tony was open enough he gently rolled Tony onto his stomach. With Tony’s chest on the bed and his ass in the air, it was quite the sight. If James had any kind of artistic inclination he would have wanted to draw the scene in front of him. But as it stood, James could hardly hold back. He ran his hands lovingly lover Tony’s cheeks before slicking himself up and sliding home.

The sound that Tony made as James pushed inside him was almost enough to break James’s control. He had to stop and breathe for a second so he didn’t end up hurting Tony. He took the time to drape himself over his lover and clasp one of his hands in his and kiss over his neck. James was in heaven and he could tell that Tony was feeling the same way.

James started out slow. He played Tony’s body like an instrument and the sounds he made were the melody. It was music to James’s ears. He just couldn’t get enough. But eventually, slow and loving wasn’t enough for either of them. James sped up his thrusts and began leaving little bite marks over Tony’s shoulders.          

As the marks took shape, James was feeling more and more possessive. Tony was his and he’d almost lost him. He was never letting that happen ever again. James felt Tony practically scream underneath him as he hit his prostate over and over again. James could tell that Tony was getting close and to be honest, James wasn’t much better.

“Gonna fill you up with my cum sweet thing. Gonna fill you up so much people will think you’re pregnant. Everyone will remember that you’re mine baby doll.” Growled James as he sped up.

Not long after, Tony let out a choked off sob as he spent himself over the sheets. James’s heart swelled with pride. He loved that he could give Tony this kind of pleasure. Not too long after, James finished deep inside Tony with a breathy growl of his name. The two collapsed onto the ruined sheets beneath them. James gently rolled off of Tony and pulled him close in a delicate embrace.

“Fuck, James…”

“Shh sweet thing. I’ve got you. You did so good. So good for me.” Soothed James as he ran his hands over Tony’s body. There were tears in Tony’s eyes. Sex was always really intense between the two of them.

James quickly cleaned the two of them up and stripped the sheet off the bed before he climbed back in beside his spent husband. Tony had a small smile on his face and James fell even more in love if that was even possible. He would never get tired of seeing Tony smile. James pulled Tony safely into his arms and nuzzled his hair. God, how did he get so lucky?  

“Love you so much, baby. I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“Love you too James. Forever and always.”

As Tony and James fell asleep that night in each other’s arms, they had no clue what was about to happen. Tony and James’s lives were about to change. But, it was a change for the better. Like the universe was trying to right all the wrongs it had done to the two lovers. Everything would work out, and life would be perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… what did everyone think? A little bit of smut and designing the new house. I loved the lake house in Endgame and I wanted Tony and James to have that. They deserve their little piece of paradise. Also, PLOT! I’m sure you all know what’s coming next and I know you’ll like what I’ve come up with if you’re going to stick around. I’ll see you all soon! -Shadows


	18. A blessing from the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello internet! It’s time for a new chapter! This is the one you’ve all been waiting for if you’ve stuck around this long. I hope you enjoy it. I’ll see you at the end!
> 
> This chapter's song is [Saturn by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzNvk80XY9s)

James was getting worried. Like, really worried. It was late July and for the past 2 weeks Tony had thrown up every single morning and a few times during the day. Neither James nor Tony knew what was wrong. It could have been a bug, but the serum would have prevented that. Food poisoning was out of the question because that would have not lasted this long. Really neither knew what the fuck was going on.

Tony, in true Tony fashion, tried to ignore it. He threw himself into finishing up the plans for his and James’s new house. They still had to choose the paint, exterior, and floors. It was a very welcome distraction. And it worked… for the most part. Tony would be working on ordering something and then James would walk in with a ham sandwich and Tony would go sprinting for the bathroom. It wasn’t fun.

But soon enough, both James and Tony had had enough. Tony was sick of being sick and James was sick of seeing Tony sick. So, they did the only thing they could think of. They went to go visit Bruce down in medical. Bruce had been working there since he’d returned to Earth and both Tony and James knew they could trust him.  

“Hey, Tony! What’s going on?” asked Bruce as Tony and James walked in and hopped up on a bed.

“I’ve been feeling sick for a couple of weeks now. It’s always in the morning and certain smells set me off. I’ve also been feeling more tired.” Explained Tony as Bruce got to work checking him over. James just hovered close by.

“Have you felt any pain lately? Eat anything you shouldn’t have?” Tony shook his head.

“Well, I’m going to run a blood test to see if it’s any lingering infection from that stab wound and to check for anything else. It’s should take too long. I’ll have FRIDAY call you when I’m done.”

James held Tony’s hand as Bruce took the blood sample and gave Tony a stupid looking Hulk band-aid for his trouble. Tony shot his friend a weird look. James just thought it was funny. While Bruce, with the help of FRIDAY, ran tests on the sample, Tony and James went back to their room to go cuddle and watch a movie. They both needed the distraction. Neither really wanted to think about all the things that could be wrong before they had any answers.

Just after dinner that night, Tony and James were called back to medical. They both hoped that Bruce had something for them. When they arrived they were surprised to see Bruce there with an ultrasound machine and a tablet that neither could really make out what was on. Bruce had Tony hop up on the bed and got to talking.  

“Alright, you see, I’ve got two hypothesizes and I’d like to disprove one before I head down the rabbit hole of the other. Don’t worry, this test won't hurt. I’m just going to do an ultrasound out your abdomen to check.” Explained Bruce as he got Tony to roll up his shirt and lay down on the bed.

James held Tony’s hand as Bruce squeezed the cold gel onto Tony’s stomach and fired up the machine. They two waited with bated breath as they waited for Bruce to get what he wanted. It took a moment before Bruce paused his movements. He found what he was looking for. There were some blurry blobs on the screen that meant nothing to either of them, but Bruce knew what they were.

“How is this even possible?” Bruce asked under his breath, but both Tony and James heard him.

“What? How is what possible?” asked Tony worriedly.

“Well, Tony, based on your blood work and the ultrasound… well, um… you’re about 7 weeks pregnant. And based on your hormone levels, it’s most likely with multiples.” Explained Bruce a bit sheepishly as he wiped the gel off of Tony’s stomach.

Nobody really knew how to respond. Tony was torn between shock and confusion, so he opted to go with confusion.

“Alright, nice trick Brucie Bear. We all know that the male body doesn’t work like that. Now tell me what’s really wrong.” Tony laughed a bit but deep down he knew Bruce would never lie to him.  

“Tony, I’m telling you the truth. You’re pregnant! I don’t know how that even became possible. It could be the serum or it could be magic, but one thing is for sure. You are pregnant.”

James and Tony just looked shocked. James had Tony’s hand in a vice grip and Tony was looking down at the floor. Neither really knew how to respond.

“Now, there are options depending on what you want to do. I’m going to leave so you can talk things over some. Take as much time as you need. Don’t feel the need to decide what to do right now. Just let FRIDAY know when you’re ready.” Said Bruce before he left the room.  

Tony just sat there on the bed. He was feeling a million emotions. Tony had tears in his eyes that threatened to fall as his free hand slowly wandered over to his stomach where it came to rest.  

“Tony baby talk to me. Please, Babe.” Spoke James as he crawled onto the bed and held Tony close. James wasn’t really sure how he was feeling. Sure, on one hand, he was elated. He’d dreamed of having kids with Tony. But on the other hand, this was Tony’s body and this was a potentially dangerous situation, so it was Tony’s choice. And James would be there for Tony no matter what choice he made.  

“It’s a miracle.” Came an almost silent whisper from Tony that had James hugging him closer.

“What was that sweetheart?”

“It’s a miracle. These babies are a miracle.” Came Tony’s reply as the tears started to fall.

“When I was young I never thought I’d have kids, but then I met this kid Harley and then Peter. And now I have you and I couldn’t help but want kids but I still never thought we’d have them because of our lives. This James, this is a miracle. This is…”

“This is our shot to be a family.” Finished James as he to let his unshed tears fall.

“James, I want to go through with this. These babies need me. I don’t want to fail them before they even have a chance.” Cried Tony and James kissed his head sweetly.  

“You won’t baby. I know you won’t. You never could.” Cooed James has he placed his hand over Tony’s where it rested on his stomach. Neither knew how this happened, but they were damn grateful for it.

The couple took about a half hour to themselves before they called Bruce back. They wanted to get their emotions in check before they continued on. When Tony told Bruce he was going to keep the babies, he honestly wasn’t surprised. Tony had a soft spot for kids and given everything Tony had been through, he deserved to be able to make this choice for himself. The rest of the evening was spent making up an elaborate plan on how to safely deal with the situation. Tony would have to attend appointments every week to make sure everything was alright. He’d also have to follow a strict diet that had Tony almost crying over the no coffee aspect. But, in the end, it was for the health of the babies. Tony wanted them to have a better start than he did. These babies would be loved, he was sure of that.    

That night, when Tony and James went to bed, the cuddled in close together. Neither could keep their hands off of Tony’s stomach. By some miracle, their babies were growing there. Neither really had any words to say. There was only joy mixed in with some apprehension and fear. But that was normal. What expecting parent didn’t feel fear about what was to come. It was just those protective instincts coming out to play.

A week passed and Tony returned to medical. So far, everything seemed normal. Well, as normal as being a pregnant man could be considered. Tony was healthy other than morning sickness and the babies were fine. That was the important part.

“I think we need to tell the others at some point.” Spoke James as the two of them made their way out of medical to grab a snack.

“I was thinking about that. I don’t know how everyone is going to react though. We could call everyone in tomorrow and have a talk.” Suggested Tony.

“What about Peter?”

“I want to tell him separately. No doubt that he’ll make a big deal out of it and go baby crazy. He’s a good kid.” Smiled Tony and James couldn’t help but mirror him. Peter was such a sweet kid, there was no doubt that he’d love the babies when they arrived in 7 months.

The next day Tony and James called everyone in for a meeting. Pepper was there as well as Happy. Thor had bifrosted in from Norway where he was rebuilding what was left of Asgard. The Guardians were still hanging around so of course, they came as well as all the Avengers.  

None of them knew why they were all there.

“Um, Bucky, why are we all here?” asked Steve once everyone was seated.

“Well, Tony and I have some big news and it’s better to explain it to everyone all at once than to do it all separate.”

“So… what’s the news Tony?” asked Pepper and all eyes turned to the man in question.

“I know most of you aren’t going to even believe it so I had Bruce bring all the medical stuff.” Began Tony as he fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt. James reached over and grabbed his hands in comfort.

“Well, the thing is… I’m pregnant.”

And the room erupted into chaos.

There were questions being spouted off by all the friends who were from Earth while all their extra-terrestrial friends gave their congratulations. It was, by nor surprise at all, Pepper, who managed to turn the chaos into order. She was good at that.

“Tony, I know you like your jokes, but this isn’t really something to joke about.” Spoke Pepper sternly.

“It’s not a joke. Bruce, can you show everyone the scans and stuff?” asked Tony and Bruce nodded as he passed around copies of the scans Tony had had. James just pulled Tony onto his lap to cuddle him while Bruce explained everything.

“So, you’re really pregnant?” asked Clint as he looked over at Tony. Tony just nodded and hoped that everything else would go smoothly.

It was actually Wanda who got over the shock of the situation first. She actually squealed in delight at the prospect of having little tiny babies around. Nobody really expected that response out of her, but it was better than the alternative. From there, the room was full of congratulations for the couple. Pepper even promised to lessen Tony’s workload so he could focus on the babies. Rhodey and Steve were overjoyed to become uncles. Rhodey was already making plans to spoil the poor kids rotten once they arrived. It was nice actually, having everyone there happy. Tony quite liked that.

Thor walked over at one point with a huge smile on his face. On the outside, he looked like he was just happy for the expecting couple, and he was. But Thor knew different. He was glad Tony and James were enjoying his gift.

“Anthony, your children shall have the blessing of Asgard. No harm shall ever come to them.” Smiled Thor as he gave his friend a gentle hug.

“Thanks, Thor. That means a lot.”

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent celebrating. This was big news and it needed to be celebrated. Clint even promised to give Tony and James some parenting advice. The first was to freeze some Gatorade and suck on it when the morning sickness was bad. Tony gladly took that advice. Anything to help with the morning sickness was a plus in his book.

That evening, just after dinner, Tony and James paid the Parkers a visit. Tony couldn’t wait to tell Peter. As they walked up to the door, May was waiting for them. Tony had called ahead and said he had some good news he needed to share and that it was easier to give in person.

Peter was more than excited to have Tony over. He was right there the instant they entered the small apartment telling Tony about his day and all the stuff he’d done with Ned and MJ and how he was planning a vacation with them for the end of summer.

“So what brings you here Mr. Stark?” asked Peter once he was done with his spiel.

“Well, James and I have some news. Now, It’s going to sound like a joke at first but I can promise you it’s not a joke.” Stated Tony and Peter looked on in confusion.

“Well, what’s the news?” asked May and both Tony and James smiled.

“I’m pregnant!”

“I’m sorry. Did you just say you’re pregnant?” asked Peter as he looked at the Tony.

“See, I know it sounds like a joke but it’s real. We’re not sure if it’s something to so with the serum or if it was something to do with magic while we were out in space, but the fact of the matter is that in about 7 months there’s going to be little Stark-Barnes babies running around.”

Once Tony was done talking Peter launched himself at the man and gave Tony the biggest hug he could muster. Tony hugged him back and May gave him her congratulations. This was a really unique situation and nobody was really too sure what to make of it, but happiness tended to be the more dominant emotion.  

“Wait! You said, babies! Are you having twins?” asked Peter as he looked up at Tony.

“We’re having multiples. We just don’t know how many yet.” Explained James and Peter looked thrilled.

“Mr. Stark, will you let me babysit them? Please! I really wanna meet the babies.” Tony just smiled and nodded.

Everyone talked for a little bit longer before Tony and James bid the Parkers goodbye. Tony was feeling tired and nobody was about to argue with the pregnant person.  

A week later, when Tony was at his 9-week scan, Bruce was going over all of Tony’s past medical information when he hit a bit of a snag. Bruce looked over at Tony with concern and Tony immediately thought the worst.

“Tony, I was going through your medical history so we can think of the best plan earlier. Are you still on the same antidepressants?” Tony nodded, “Well you’ll need to go off them for the pregnancy. The ones you’re on aren’t good for the babies.”

“But they’re the only ones that work!” protested Tony as his eyes filled with panic.

“Hey, Tony baby. It’ll be alright. We’ll get you in more therapy sessions per week and I’ll be by your side the whole time.” Soothed James as he took Tony’s hand and kissed the knuckles.

“Fine.” Sighed Tony, “But I don’t like it.”

When Tony left the appointment with James, James could tell that Tony was feeling uneasy over having to go off his medication. Tony didn’t even go down to his lab after to work on blueprints. He just went back to their room and curled up in the bed with the stuffed bunny James had given him. James wasn’t about to leave Tony alone while he was feeling like this, so he crawled onto the bed and pillowed Tony’s head in his lap. He ran his fingers through the curls until Tony calmed down a bit.

“Wanna tell me what’s eating at you doll?” asked James and Tony just curled closer.

“I’m worried that if I’ll end up doing something stupid that’ll hurt the babies now that I’m off my meds.” Came Tony’s reply a few minutes later.

“Tony, I promise that I won’t allow you to do anything like that. I know that you’ll never hurt our babies on purpose, and I know that I’ll be by your side the whole time. I’m not letting you go through this alone Tony. Never. We’ll do what we need to to keep you and the babies safe. And that’s a promise.” Cooed James. Tony just cuddled in closer and basked in the attention James was giving him.

Both men spent the night with their hands wrapped around Tony’s stomach, protecting their babies. Their little miracles.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I’m writing this note I’m about 2 hours away from seeing the rerelease of Endgame with my dad. I know I’m going to cry and I’m OK with that. It’s inevitable. On another note, I hope you guys liked the chapter. Who’s excited for Winteriron babies! Place your bets now on how many babies Tony’s having and what the genders will be! I’ll be seeing you soon! -Shadows


	19. Counting on the memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there. Welcome to the next chapter. I hope you all have your baby predictions ready cuz I’m about to reveal one of the answers. Are you excited? I’m excited. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> This chapter's song is [Three by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mpQVljAWTY)

In James’s extensive search on how to take care of babies to help Tony along with his pregnancy, the poor fool had stumbled upon all the cheesy things couples tended to do while pregnant. And you can bet your ass that James wanted to do some of them.

The upside to the situation was that it gave Tony a distraction from the withdrawals from being off his med. But on the downside, Tony was drawn into most of James’s plans. The big one that James was dead set on doing was taking a photo of Tony’s belly every week until the babies were born. Tony didn’t really have a problem with that one. It was cute and it was proof that this was all happening.

James absolutely flipped out when Tony started showing. He was 11 weeks along and there was a slight bump showing. James couldn’t keep his hands off. Well, neither could Tony. It gave him something to really smile about. His babies were in there, growing and getting stronger every day.

Tony still had to go to medical every week. He didn’t really mind. He got to see his babies and hear their heartbeats every week. Now that the babies were bigger, Bruce was able to confirm that it was multiples. They still didn’t know how many they were having, but neither Tony nor James cared. They were just happy that so far everything was going great.

Ground had broken on Tony and James’s new house. It should be move-in ready by January. Tony and James were having a great time picking out all the furniture they needed for the new place. Although, they were leaving the babies room’s for later when they had more information. But so far the house was going great. Tony loved how cozy it was going to be. It was everything he wanted as a kid and he couldn’t wait to raise his kids there.   

Therapy was a huge thing in Tony’s life again now he was off his meds. It was gruelling and Tony often felt exhausted after. Luckily James and Rhodey were always there after to comfort him and keep his head up. Often after those sessions, Tony would give in to his pregnancy cravings and just go wild. Nobody was about to judge him but the raw onion with peanut butter was pushing everyone’s limits.  

One thing that had everyone on edge in regard to having a pregnant Tony around the compound was the hormones. If people thought that Tony cried a lot when he was a little kid it was nothing compared to Tony now. Every little thing would set him off into tears. Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears. Tony just cried.    

For example, James was out getting Tony’s current craving, baguettes with chocolate sauce, so Tony was on his own for the afternoon. So, Tony curled up in the media room to watch some kids movies. He might as well get used to them and weed out the really shitty ones before the babies got there.

What Tony didn’t expect was for there to be an episode where a puppy got lost. It just got to him. It made him think of all the times he’d been lost or kidnapped and how all he wanted to do was keep his babies safe. In seconds Tony was crying. Luckily, that was when Wanda walked in.

“What’s wrong Stark?” she asked and Tony just cried harder.

“The p-puppy is lost! They have to save the puppy!” bawled Tony and Wanda just shook her head and proceeded to bundle Tony up in blankets and grab him some cheese. That was what everyone was doing to get Tony to feel better. It worked so nobody questioned it.

Everything was better by dinner time. The team made a point of having dinner together at least once a week to work on getting along. They had some strict rules to follow. No politics, no accords, no hero stuff, and no talks about money unless it was a joke that didn’t offend anyone. It was really the only way to keep things civil.

Tonight’s conversation just happened to be about Tony and the babies. So far, everyone was excited about the babies. Everyone was eager for information, but that was a work in progress. The conversation they were all having at that moment was actually about how Tony and James were going to design the babies rooms.

“Well, once we know how many and what genders we can get started. Although I’m pretty sure their rooms will be more gender-neutral. Plus I have to make sure that everything is baby proof before we even think about letting them sleep there.” Explained Tony with a worried smile. James just kissed his forehead and smeared some pasta sauce on his nose.   

“I think you’ll be a great dad Tony.” Smiled Rhodey

“Wait, wouldn’t you technically be the mom in this situation?” quipped Clint with a chuckle.

“Should we start calling you Mama Stark?” teased Sam, but Tony didn’t protest.

“I don’t mind being called Mama. I don’t really know how dads are supposed to be. Moms, on the other hand, are awesome.” Smiled Tony, “Plus I’m the one giving birth here, I think I’m mom here.”

Some of the others looked a bit skeptical, but James, Rhodey, and Bruce understood. James just ended up pulling Tony into a kiss as he allowed his hands to rest on Tony’s steadily growing baby bump. Pretty soon they would start feeling kicks and neither parent could wait!

As Tony approached the 20-week mark he looked a whole heck of a lot more pregnant then he was. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was growing more than one baby in there and he was on the smaller side. Actually, Tony was starting to feel self-conscious about how he was looking. His baby belly was huge, his ankles were swelling, everything hurt especially his hips, and he waddled when he walked. Tony was not a fan.

James however, was.

James would have a hand on his belly whenever he could. He would sing and talk to the babies which Tony thought was adorable. Honestly, James had been perfect throughout this whole thing. He rubbed Tony’s feet, got him food when he was hungry and had trouble moving. James was a perfect sweetheart and Tony felt grateful every day to have him in his life.

The day of Tony’s 20-week scan was an exciting one. Tony had helped Bruce deck out the ultrasound machine so they could finally get a definitive answer as to how many babies Tony was actually carrying. It wouldn’t really help them find the genders, that was up to how the babies were positioned. But it was something. Plus after Tony and James could finally start working on the babies rooms. The new house was almost done and they were excited.

“Alright Tony, you know the drill by now. Hop up on the table.” Smiled Bruce as he got everything set up.

James helped Tony up onto the exam table and Bruce got to work. James and Tony held tight onto each other’s hands as Bruce moved the wand around trying to get the clearest picture and heartbeats. It didn’t take too long, but soon enough Bruce was smiling and both Tony and James were stupidly curious.

“Well, Tony. I’ve got a number for you.” Smiled Bruce as he removed the want and helped Tony to wipe the gel off his belly.

“So, how many Bruce?”

“Congratulations! You’re having triplets!” exclaimed Bruce and both Tony and James’s eyes shot out of their heads.

“Triplets…” whispered out James.

What happened next was something that Tony teased him about for the rest of his life. James passed out when he got the news. Tony couldn’t help but laugh. When James came around a minute later, Tony was still laughing. James didn’t care that he’d made a fool of himself. He was going to be a father to three little babies. He couldn’t be happier.     

The ended up telling everyone that night over dinner. It seemed like James fainting wasn’t a one-off. Steve passed out when he heard the news. Maybe it was a supersoldier thing? Everyone else just gave their congratulations and offered to help should the couple need it.

Telling Peter was a whole different story. Peter went absolutely crazy with excitement. What was really cute was after Tony had told him the news, Peter showed up at the compound two days later with three identical owl plushies for the babies.

“I chose owls because owls are smart and I know your kids will be smart too Mr. Stark.”

Let it be known that Tony tried really fucking hard not to cry at how cute everything was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… I saw Spider-Man Far From Home today. All I will say is…HOLY FUCK! I cried and I’m so surprised they’re bringing in who they are! (People who have seen the first end credit scene know who I’m talking about) Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter. I’m so excited about these babies! I don’t have to much more to say. Comments are appreciated. I’ll see you soon. -Shadows


	20. Add a pop of colour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It’s time for a new chapter. We get one more piece of the baby puzzle as well as some fluff and celebration. I hope you enjoy it. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU)

Now that Tony and James knew how many babies they were having, it was time to actually start working on their rooms. With the new house almost done it was time to get down to it. Really, when they said the house was almost done they just meant that they still needed to paint and move everything in. But, Tony couldn’t really be around the paint fumes so they were waiting until everything was set up to move in.  

Picking colours was somewhat easy. Even with both Tony and James wanting to opt for more gender-neutral themes, it still wasn’t easy. There was just too much choice and way too much cute stuff to choose from. In the end, they decided to paint one room blue with birds and bunnies, one light green with plants, and one yellow zoo animals. All the rooms looked adorable and would be added too once the babies were born to match their personalities. Plus, they still had time on that. Tony insisted on buying three bassinets to put in their room so the babies would be close by for their first few weeks on life.

James wasn’t even going to complain about that. The kids weren’t even there yet and he wanted them close and safe.

As Tony’s pregnancy progressed further and further, he became incredibly self-conscious. He felt fat and unattractive. His ankles were no longer there, he had stretch marks for days, his morning sickness decided it wanted to stick around and to top it all off everything just hurt. Honestly, Tony was sick and tired of being pregnant and it was just making things feel off.

James did what he could to help Tony. He gave him massages. Gave him comfort when Tony was feeling upset. James made double sure that Tony attended his therapy when he was feeling particularly shitty. James had been keeping an eye on Tony’s moods. He made a promise to keep Tony and the babies safe from everything. He didn’t intend to break his promise. Not ever.

As for general life at the compound, it was pretty calm. Every once in a while some of the active members of the team were called away on missions. Peter dropped by often to visit and learn new things. Pepper and Happy would pop in to say hello and drop off paperwork. So yeah, life was pretty normal at the compound.

However, there was one time Pepper visited when Tony was 22 weeks along that changed things up a bit.

“The media’s asking where you’ve disappeared to again Tony. I can’t keep holding them off. You’re going to have to do something.” Explained an exasperated Pepper one evening when she, Tony, and James were lounging around.

“Pepper, honey, you know I really don’t want to do this.” Complained Tony and James held him impossibly closer.

“I know you don’t Tony. I’d rather you be safe and happy then stuck in the media circuit, but the fact of the matter is if you don’t say something then you’ll have people knocking down the doors to get answers.” Stressed Pepper and Tony just looked sad.

“Then what do you suggest?”

“A basic Instagram post. From there the other Avengers and I can verify things and let everyone know to stay the fuck away. I think the threat of being sued for every penny they have should work alright.”

James and Tony just nodded. This was really the best option. Tony really didn’t want to go out in public looking like he did. None of his clothes fit him and none of James’s fit either. Tony just mostly wore sweatpants and a fluffy housecoat because that’s all that fit.

That night, Tony and James chose the pictures they would be posting. The first one they picked was a really cheesy one Tony took of two regular-sized cars and three little Hot Wheels. Yes, it was cheesy and stupid. Tony didn’t care. The next two photos were one if Tony with a little baby bump followed by a more current one with Tony’s much larger baby bump. The last photo was one with Tony and James cuddling together with the baby bump. Neither really wanted to make the post, but with the way the media was, they didn’t have much of a choice. It was better to have control over the situation then for things to get out of hand.

@youknowwhoiam You all may be wondering why I’ve been so absent from well, pretty much everything since I got back from space. Well, the truth is, James and I are expecting triplets. So yes, I’m pregnant. We don’t know how it happened. If it was magic, a part of the super-soldier serum, or a consequence of some of the medical stuff used on me in space. All we know is that we are blessed to be welcoming our babies into the world in a few months.

I am well aware that this is strange news. All James and I request is that we be allowed our privacy so we can raise our babies in peace and safety. @pepperpotts @warmachine @s-rogers @bbanner I’m passing the rest off to you. -TS

Tony and James just turned off their phones after Tony made the post. Neither needed the added stress of dealing with the public. The others could deal with everything so that Tony could rest like he was supposed to be doing.     

When Pepper showed up a few days later she had some news for everyone. The public, for the most part, was confused but excited about the babies. To be honest it was a given that something weird like this would happen to one of the Avengers. It wasn’t really that much of a surprise. There was some pretty vocal backlash from some religious groups, but Tony knew that James would keep him safe so he wasn’t worried.

When Tony and James went in for Tony’s 25-week ultrasound, they were more than excited. Bruce and Rhodey had improved the picture quality of the ultrasound machine so they were hoping that today would be the day they’d learn the gender of their babies so they could start thinking of baby names. It was really exciting.

When the scan got underway Tony had James’s hand in a vice grip as the waited to hear some news. Bruce kept the screen hidden view. They wanted all the information before it was presented to them. It took maybe 10 minutes, but it seemed like hours as they anxiously waited for news.

“Alright guys, ready for some baby news?” smiled Bruce and both Tony and James nodded enthusiastically.

“Well let’s start with babies one and two.” Started Bruce as he pointed to Tony’s right side and the middle of his baby bump. “First off, they’re sharing a placenta so there’s a very very high probability that they’re identical. We’ll need to keep a closer eye on them to make sure they’re growing evenly and one isn’t depriving the other. Now, as for the gender, both baby one and baby two are boys!” smiled Bruce.

James cheered. He’d sort of been hoping that at least one of the babies was a boy. He had so many boys names he wanted to run by Tony. Plus, he’d grown up with sisters and had always wanted a brother. He was glad his sons would have each other. Tony, on the other hand, started crying. He was so excited. Now he just needed to know baby three’s gender.

“What about baby three?” asked Tony as some stray tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Well to start off, baby three is looking a little bit smaller than the others. It’s nothing to worry about at the moment. There just isn’t that much space in there. And as for the gender, baby three is a little girl. Congratulations guys!”   

Tony and James couldn’t have been happier with the outcome. They were expecting two little boys and one little girl. They were incredibly excited. So, while James had been hoping for a boy, Tony had secretly been hoping for a girl. He actually wanted to help her with her hair and paint her nails. He wanted to raise her to be strong and independent just like all the other women in his life. And most of all, Tony wanted to honour his mother.  

As they were about to leave Bruce handed the couple a few pictures from the ultrasound so they had pictures for the baby books. Tony just smiled brighter. He couldn’t wait to tell everyone.

A few days later they told the others. Everyone was there, including Peter, and they made sort of a big deal about telling everyone. When he heard the news Peter jumped up to hug Tony while the others started conspiring on trying to get Tony and James to name one of the babies after them. It was kind of funny.

Around week 30, some of the others actually threw Tony a baby shower. James definitely had a hand in it because most of the food there were Tony’s current cravings. Despite the fact that Tony was a billionaire, there were some gifts. Mostly a mountain of diapers that Tony was extremely thankful for because he was going to have three babies there soon and that shit was important.    

But as for other gifts, Pepper got some cure little baby dresses for their baby girl. She even got a little red and gold one. It was too cute. Their baby girl was going to have an amazing role model in Pepper that was for sure. Peter got each baby some science pun onesies. James couldn’t stop laughing when he saw them. Happy got some tony cars for all three babies. These kids were going to appreciate good cars that was for sure. Steve, because whether Tony really liked it or not he was one of these babies uncles, got one child-safe water-based paints for when they were older. And Rhodey, already the much cooler uncle in Tony’s opinion, got some little nightlights that looked like jars full of fireflies. Tony thought they were so cute that he cried. Damn hormones.   

One thing that was kind of pissing Tony off was that he and James couldn’t move into their new place yet. It was now January and despite the house being finished and all decorated, Tony was on mostly bed rest and needed to stay close to medical for his health and the babies. Tony had to trust Rhodey to go out there and set up the lab and FRIDAY because he couldn’t go himself. It wasn’t too difficult. The bots didn’t cause too much trouble.

As Tony reached his 32 weeks, he realized that he and James really needed to talk about baby names. Bruce had speculated that Tony would have a 40-week pregnancy and time was running out. These babies needed names.    

 “James honey, we really need to start thinking of baby names.” Commented Tony one day as they lay snuggled up together.

Well, how do you want to go about that?” asked James as he sat up and took Tony’s hands in his.  

“Well, to start we’re having two boys so why don’t we each pick one first name and then switch for the middle names.” Suggested Tony and James smiled, he already had a middle name he liked.

The two sat for a while and looked over some baby naming websites for help. Despite this being a pretty fucking huge decision, it actually didn’t take them long to pick out the perfect names for their boys.

So baby doll. I see that smile on your face. What name do you like?” smiled James as he looked over at Tony.

“I actually really like the name Arlo for baby number two. He’s calmer in there and it just seems right.” Spoke Tony softly as he ran a hand over his baby bump.

“I think it’s perfect.” Smiled James as his hand joined Tony’s.

“What were you thinking?”

“Well, I was thinking of the name Jason. It means “the healer”. I want him to grow up to help people.” Explained James and Tony leant his head on James’s shoulder.

“And middle names?”

“Well, I think Arlo’s middle name should be Anthony. He has a strong mama. I think it fits perfectly. Arlo Anthony Stark-Barnes has a nice ring to it.” Smirked James but Tony knew that he wasn’t joking. In the past, Tony would have argued with James about how his poor baby shouldn’t be burdened with his name. But now, now he was more confident and better knew his actual worth in the eyes of his husband. He felt honoured.  

“Well then, if Arlo’s getting my name as a middle name then it’s only fair that Jason’s middle name be James after you.” James just smiled and gave Tony a not so innocent kiss.

“And what about our baby girl?” asked James. “To be honest I have no idea what to call her.”

“I have one.” Blushed Tony and James smiled.

“What is it sweet thing?”  

“Morgan. Like Morgana from Arthurian legend. That was actually what inspired the Iron man armour. I want her to be strong.”

“I’m sure there’s a story there.” Smiled James and the two cuddled up closer as Tony talked about the books he used to sneakily read as a child about King Arthur and the Knights of the round table.

That night, as the two drifted off to sleep, Tony couldn’t help but let his mind wander to his perfect little babies. Jason James, Arlo Anthony, and Morgan Maria. Perfect names for perfect babies. Tony couldn’t be happier with them.  

Now that the babies had names, Tony set to work on a little project that he was excited about. He couldn’t do too much because he was on bed rest, but he sure as hell was allowed to sit at the table with paint and a whole bunch of wooden letters. What Tony was doing was painting letter to spell out each of his kid's names to match the room they decided to put them in. Morgan was going in the blue room with birds and bunnies so Tony painted her name silver with polka dots. Jason was going in the green room with all the plants so Tony painted his name dark green with stripes. And finally, Arlo was going into the yellow room with zoo animals. His name was painted like a giraffe.

Tony was so proud of his work and James thought it was adorable. Later that week James drove down to the new house and put their names above each of the cribs. He couldn’t wait to bring the babies here to turn the house into a home. Their home.

As Tony inched closer and closer to his due date, one question seemed to come up. How the fuck would Tony be giving birth to them? He was kind of missing some important parts. So, at his next appointment, he brought it up with Bruce. Bruce did a check and gave Tony an ultrasound lower down to see what his body wanted to do before they made any decisions.

“Tony, when was the last time you checked on anything… down there?” asked Bruce a bit awkwardly.

“Probably back when I could still reach properly abound my stomach.” Replied Tony as he looked at Bruce quizzically. James just looked worried.  

“Well, you seemed to have grown a birth canal so if you want to avoid a c-section you have the means to give birth to them.”

Not too long after, Bruce left so that Tony and James could talk about their options. Really there wasn’t much to talk about. Tony really didn’t want to have a c-section if he could avoid it. Sure, he’d absolutely have one if something happened and his babies were in danger. No question he would do it. But knowing he now had options that he didn’t think he’d get to have. It gave him some peace of mind.

Tony made sure to let Bruce know his plans so he could get the medical team ready for the big day. They only had about 6 more weeks but because Tony was expecting multiples, that could change really quickly. But, Tony and James were ready. So far, the babies were healthy, Tony wasn’t too uncomfortable, and James had pretty much ready every parenting book in existence. They were ready.

Everything would be alright. They just knew it.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! We’ve got baby names. I hope you like them. Yes, Arlo’s name is a play off of Arno Stark from the comics. I just like Arlo better for a sweet little baby. Just a warning. Next chapter will be a bit graphic. You can probably guess what’s going to happen. I’ll be seeing you soon. -Shadows  


	21. Three's a crowd but more to love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there. It’s time for a new chapter. Just a warning, this one has graphic descriptions of birth as well as a whole bunch of swearing. You’ve been warned. I’ll see you at the end of the chapter.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Dear True Love by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWr0ab9wRXw&list=RDMM_AkxFgWCOe0&index=27)

The evening of March 13, 2019, started out just like any other evening for Tony and James. They ate dinner together, cuddled on the couch and watched Star Trek, and then went off to bed early to try and get as much sleep as possible before the babies arrived and they wouldn’t get any more. Well, James went to bed. Tony laid down on his side and stayed awake. You see, he’d been in pain all fucking day. His back hurt, his chest hurt, and he’d been feeling what he thought were just Braxton-Hicks contractions for hours.

But, around 11 pm, Tony realized that he was very wrong about the Braxton-Hicks contractions.

“James.” Cringed Tony as another contraction hit. James just mumbled a bit in his sleep but didn’t wake. So, Tony hit him in the chest.

“I’m awake! I’m awake!” shouted James as he sat up quickly and looked down at Tony who looked extremely uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong baby doll?”

“James… I’m pretty sure I’m in labour.”

Now, James was normally a pretty composed person. He was calm, cool, and collected most of the time unless something was wrong with Tony. So, hearing that his husband was in labour had James freaking the fuck out. James was yelling at FRIDAY to let Bruce and medical know that they were coming and that Tony was in labour before he slowly helped Tony to his feet so they could make the trek to medical.

The normally 5-minute walk took them around 10 because Tony had to keep stopping. Plus, it wasn’t really a walk for Tony. It was more of a slow waddle and Tony was more than grateful to get to medical and onto a bed.

Bruce was there right away setting up all the things they would need for Tony and the babies for during labour and for after. James helped Tony change into a hospital gown as well as helped him get settled as comfortably as possible on the bed. While Bruce got around to giving Tony a quick examination.

“Well Tony, you’re still in the early stages of labour. We’re still going to keep you here to monitor the whole thing. I’m going to do everything I can to keep you and your babies safe during this, alright Tones. Now, it’s still early. I suggest getting some sleep if you can.” Spoke Bruce and Tony nodded.

Bruce soon left to go and get more of the supplies they needed. Tony just curled up in his left side and held James’s flesh hand in a vice grip. Tony wasn’t really up for talking. James couldn’t blame him. He knew that Tony was scared and in pain and that pain would only get worse as his labour progressed. James was already having a hard time seeing his husband in pain. But he had to stay strong for Tony. That was important.

Tony did end up falling asleep after a little while. James just held his hand and rubbed his belly, really giving any comfort he could. While Tony slept, James stayed awake. He couldn’t sleep at all. He needed to be awake to make sure that Tony was alright. He was terrified that something bad would happen.

Around 4 am Tony, woke up again with a groan. James could tell that the pain was getting a little bit worse and he was already feeling helpless seeing Tony like this. Because it was still early on, Tony just continued to lay down while James held him and kissed his forehead. There wasn’t much to do but work through the pain and wait for the next check.

“How are you doing sweat heart?” asked James softly as he gave Tony’s hand a squeeze.

“I’m already tired. Everything hurts. I just want our babies here and for this to be over.” Sighed Tony.

“You’ll get through this Tony. You’ll get through this and we’ll have our babies.” Soothed James. That was all he could really do. Offer comfort and help when needed.     

Around 9 am after Bruce had come in for a progress and health check, Tony decided that he needed to walk around for a bit. Bruce agreed saying something about how gravity would help, and soon enough, Tony was on his feet. James held him close as they slowly walked around the room. They checked out the little baby cots that the babies would sleep in while they stayed in medical. It made Tony and James long to take them to their new home. Soon. That would happen soon.

James held Tony close as he walked around and laboured. There still wasn’t much talking. Just soothing gestures and touches. At one point, James told FRIDAY to tell the others what was going on and where they were in case of an emergency. What was surprising was not too long after that Rhodey and Steve showed up and asked to come in to check on everything.

“Tony, doll. Rhodey and Steve are outside. Do you want them to come in?” asked James as he helped Tony back to the bed for a bit of a rest.

“No!”

“You sure?”

“Don’t want anyone but you right now.”

So, James shooed their well-meaning family away while Tony’s pain got worse. When Tony vomited from how intense the pain was getting, James called Bruce in a panic while he got Tony cleaned up. Bruce told them it was normal and gave James some ice chips to give to Tony to keep him hydrated.

Around noon, Tony decided that he was getting way too hot and modesty no longer mattered. So, he had James help him out of his hospital gown so he was naked. Tony really didn’t care. He was hot, in pain, and having his chest bare would be better for holding his babies once they were born.  

After another few hours, Tony decided to get up and walk around again. But, walking was getting harder so Tony ended up resting his head and chest on the bed while he stood on his feet. James, in his quest to help lessen the pain, was giving Tony a very much appreciated backrub. It actually helped a whole lot. Tony felt a little less pressure on his back and James felt better being able to help.

Unfortunately, that didn’t last long.

Midway through James’s amazing back rub, Tony started to feel some liquid trickling down his leg. He wasn’t overly concerned about it so he ignored it. It was probably just from the pressure on his bladder. But, not too long after that trickle turned into a bit of a gush.

“Um… James… I think my water just broke.” Gasped Tony before he collapsed to his knees as the pain got even worse then it had before.

James helped Tony back onto the bed before calling for Bruce. The man in question appeared in seconds and was giving Tony and examination. Tony just closed his eyes and focused on breathing while James held his hands and worried.

“Alright, Tony. Looks like you’re about 8 cm dilated. Just hang in there. You’re progressing pretty fast so I don’t expect for this to last more than a few more hours.” Tony just nodded and moaned in pain as another contraction hit.

“James… I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do this.” Mumbled Tony as he started to cry from the mounting pain.

“You will baby. I know you will. You’ve been through so much already. I know you can make it through this.” Encouraged James as he helped Tony get comfortable.

Another hour went by before Bruce returned. In that time Tony became more vocal. Not in the way of wanting to make conversation to get his mind off things, but more in the way of crying and swearing while James held his hand.  

As Tony’s contractions got closer together, his swearing got a little more creative. James would have given him serious points for calling him a “FUCKING POTATO NUT SACK!”, but he threatened to chop off his dick afterwards so he lost points there for creativity. 

But, once Bruce returned and gave Tony a check, they knew it was go time. Suddenly, much to Tony’s annoyance, there were at least 5 other doctors in the room. Tony would have preferred if it was just him, James, and Bruce, but he knew that wasn’t a possibility. Tony’s contractions were getting almost unbearably painful but he did everything he was instructed to do to help bring his babies into the world.  

James was right there on the bed with Tony. He had an arm around Tony’s shoulders while the other supported his left leg. Once Bruce instructed Tony on when and how to push, he started to get really nervous. This was the part where things could go wrong. James really didn’t want things to go wrong.

“James! James! Make it stop!” cried out Tony after a particularly strong contraction as his hands scrambled for purchase in James’s arms.

“I’m right here baby. You’re doing so well. So well baby.” Soothed James even though on the inside he was terrified.

“Alright Tony, I can see a head. You’re almost 1/3rd of the way there.” Announced Bruce and Tony doubled down on his next contraction.

“You’re almost there Tony. You’re almost there.” Encouraged James and with one big push, their first baby was born.

“Congratulations! Baby number one is a boy!” announced Bruce as he held the screaming baby.

Neither Tony nor James really got to enjoy that moment because seconds later Tony was hit by another strong contraction. Tony was still screaming and crying and James really felt helpless. Tony was hurting, and his firstborn son was crying and not in their arms. He was more than ready for this ordeal to be over.

5 minutes later, Tony gave birth to their second son. He wasn’t screaming like his brother and James worried for a second before Bruce said that he was breathing fine. He was just a really chill baby. That actually got a laugh out of Tony before the next contraction hit. James had the mistake then of looking down when his daughter was being born. The whole time James had been focusing on Tony. He hadn’t realized there would be so much blood. James was trying to keep all his emotions under control so he wouldn’t pass out at the sight. Luckily, 10 minutes later, their daughter was born and Tony collapsed from exhaustion in his arms.    

So, in the early evening of March 14, 2019, on fucking Pi day of all days, Tony and James finally welcomed Jason, Arlo, and Morgan Stark-Barnes into the world. Tony looked like a wreck and James was just holding him close.

“My babies? Are my babies ok?” rasped out Tony and Bruce just nodded.

From there, James helped Tony to lie down a bit and soon enough there were three impossibly perfect babies on Tony’s chest and cradled protectively with James’s arms around all of them. Tony and James started crying for a whole different reason as they got their first good look at their children. Their boys certainly were identical right down to the little wrinkles on their foreheads. Their baby girl was so small but she was the loudest. Although, all three of them calmed down once they were with Tony and James.

“They’re so perfect James.” Whispered Tony has he left little kisses on each of his babies heads.

“You did so perfectly Tony. You made them and they're so perfect.” Smiled James as he let himself cry tears of joy.

The doctors fussed over Tony for a little while he held his babies. They delivered the placentas and got Tony the ice packs and medicine he desperately needed. Tony and James just let them work. They just cared about the new lives in their arms.   

“So, which one is which?” asked Bruce as he got the birth certificates ready.

“Well, the one who’s squirming around is Jason James. Our calm little boy here is Arlo Anthony. And our little girl is Morgan Maria.” Smiled Tony as he continued to stare at the three beautiful babies currently curled up on his bare chest.

The doctors continued to fuss around for a while longer as they ran a few tests. So far, everything was perfect. All three babies were breathing and moving fine. Everything was where it should be and nobody was crying in pain other than Tony, but that was just a matter of the meds kicking in.

Actually, everything had gone perfectly. Maybe when Thor had said he was going to bless their babies he actually did something. All three of them were healthy and besides being sore and tired, Tony had had no complications. It was like a blessing from the gods.

After a while, the doctors finally left and allowed Tony and James to bond one on one with their new babies. Tony, even though he was exhausted and now on medication, he felt wide awake as he snuggled his husband and children. James took the time to wrap Tony and the babies up nice and warm in an old blanket he’d brought with them. James just couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Tony had done amazingly and their babies were perfect.

The two mostly sat in silence, just cooing over their children. Eventually, James got up again to go and prepare some bottles to feed them. James fed Jason in his arms while Tony fed Arlo. Morgan just slept and woke once her brothers were done. Once everyone was all fed the babies were placed back on Tony’s chest for some snuggles.

“We should video call Peter so he can start making his way down here. I know he really wants to meet the babies.” Suggested Tony once everyone was settled down. James just nodded and pulled out his phone to make the call. Peter picked up on the first ring.

“Hey, Mr. Barnes. What’s up.” Smiled Peter when he came into view.

“You and your aunt might want to start making your way down to the compound.” Smiled James and Peter looked a bit confused.

“Why’s that?”

“Let’s just say that your little brothers and sister really want to meet you.” Smiled Tony and Peter freaked out.

“You had the babies! On Pi day!” shouted Peter and both Tony and James laughed a bit.

“What can I say. They’re half Stark, of course, they picked a nerdy date. So, get that spider butt of yours here so you can –“ Tony was cut off mid-sentence by Morgan putting one of her impossibly small hands over Tony’s mouth. James started laughing like an idiot.

“What happened?” asked Peter excitedly.

“Morgan just put her hand over Tony’s mouth to shut him up. She’s already a sassy little thing.” Snickered James and Peter laughed along.

With a promise to get there soon and a yell to May, Peter hung up the call leaving the new parents to continue dotting over their babies. Tony could hardly believe how small they were. It was insane. James just couldn’t believe they were there. This was something he never thought he’d get to have and he was stupidly grateful to have an amazing husband and beautiful healthy children.

Although, not too long after they were interrupted by the smiling faces off all their well-meaning friends.  

“Bruce said the babies were born so we all came to say hello.” Smiled Steve as he and all the others quietly made their way into the room after washing their hands. Nobody wanted to make Tony or the babies sick.

Rhodey was the first one over there and cooing over how small the babies were. Everyone was just enamoured with them. Most of the others were preoccupied with looking at the babies that they seemed to forget that Tony was there. Luckily Rhodey spoke up to rectify that.

“No offence Tones, but you look exhausted. You should get some rest.”

“Well, I did just give birth. I reserve the right to be tired and in pain.” Smirked Tony as James pulled him and the babies closer.

“Does birth really hurt that much? It can’t be that bad.” Commented Steve and Tony shot him a look as well as all the women in the room.

“Imagine you’re getting hit in the nuts with a 1000 degree baseball bat for hours and it only gets worse.” Explained Tony and there was a whole heck of a lot pained sympathy looks thrown at Tony from the men in the room.  

“Yeah Steve, I wouldn’t argue with the person who just pushed three other people out of their body.” Rebutted Clint. He’d seen his wife give birth. He knew how much pain Tony was in and how you never mess with a mama bear.  

When Steve asked if he could hold one of them, it was actually James who spoke up and said no.

“Not right now Stevie. Right now they need to stay with me and Tony. Maybe once we move to the new house. But right now they’re sleeping and happy.”

Steve and the others just backed off a bit. The fight wasn’t worth it. Plus, James had a point. It was at that point that Thor walked a little closer and smiled at the new parents and smiled.

“Your children are beautiful. May they lead healthy lives and have strong hearts.” Smiled Thor as he gave the children his blessing. He was so happy that Tony and James were enjoying the gift he’d given them. It really was his way of saying thanks for killing Thanos and for giving the remaining Asgardians a new home.   

Nobody really stuck around that much after that. They could tell how tired Tony was getting. Although, Tony couldn’t go to sleep quite yet. About 10 minutes after the others left, Peter and May showed up. Peter looked so excited when Tony introduced him to the babies. Although, when Peter promised to protect them with everything he had, Tony did start to cry a bit. It had been a long day.

Peter and May didn’t stay too long. Tony was already half asleep. After they left James got up and brought the little co-sleepers closer to Tony’s bed. One by one, James lifted up his babies, swaddled them up nice and safe, and placed them down to sleep. Tony smiled as he watched James caring for their babies. He was already an amazing father. After he was done, James curled up on the bed next to the already half asleep Tony.   

“You get some sleep darlin’. I’ll keep an eye on them. You deserve to rest now.” Soothed James as he kissed Tony sweetly before he fell asleep.

James was smiling as he watched his family sleep. Everything was perfect. He had the perfect husband, the perfect babies. It was just… perfect. In one annoying part of James’s brain was saying that he didn’t deserve any of this, but the rest knew better. James and Tony deserved this. They deserved their happy ending. And that’s the real tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Babies! We have babies! I hope you guys liked this one. Tony and James are sure going to have their hands full with the babies now that they’re here. But, we already know that they’ll be just fine. I’ll see you guys soon. -Shadows


	22. The first days of our lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! It’s time for a new chapter, isn’t it? This one is full of babies and a little bit of angst. Also, there are some time jumps. I hope you like it. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Dear Theodosia from Hamilton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKpJjdKcjeo)

After a week and a half in medical, Tony and James were finally able to take the babies home. All three were very healthy and good to go. Tony, however, was still a little worse for wear. It was understandable though. He’d just done something that his body wasn’t really set up to be able to do. Before they left, Bruce made sure Tony was set up with all the medical stuff he would need as well as instructions to come back to the compound if anything felt off.

In that first week in medical, James and Tony had learned a lot about their babies. They learned that Jason had a seemingly never-ending appetite, Arlo had the worst diapers, and Morgan never slept at night. She didn’t cry. She just didn’t sleep.

Actually taking the babies home was one of the most stressful moments of the new parent's lives. First, whoever decided that car seats should be so hard to install that even a Ph.D. recipient would have trouble with them deserved to burn in hell. Second, it was the scariest drive of their lives. After the team and their friends had bid the new parents goodbye and all three babies were nice and safe in their car seats, James began to drive his family to their new home.

James drove like a grandpa the whole time. He was NOT letting anything happen to his babies and husband. On any other occasion, Tony would have thought the whole thing was funny, but truth be told he was also really fucking terrified.

They finally breathed a sigh of relief when they arrived home and brought the babies inside and up to the master bedroom. There were three little bassinets and a couple of rocking chairs set up so that the babies were close by for the first little while. That way, if any of them needed something, Tony and James were right there, even in the middle of the night.

James got their three sleeping angels settled down in their bassinets while Tony went to go take a shower. He was feeling all gross since the birth. He’d only had bed baths and was more than ready to actually get clean before sleeping in an arguably much more comfortable bed than the one in medical.

When Tony got out of the shower, James was already on their bed reading a book. Tony just smiled and went to go curl up next to his husband. They smiled at each other before James put away his book before the two of them promptly went to sleep. They had about an hour before at least one of the babies got up wanting something. So, they needed all the sleep they could get.

Adjusting to living with three tiny humans wasn’t that difficult for both Tony and James. Tony was used to multitasking and James had had siblings growing up. Plus, for Tony, raising DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers was sometimes more challenging than changing a squirming baby’s diaper. It was still hard work, but it was the little moments that made everything worth it. For example, about a week after Tony and James brought the babies home, James had gone down to the kitchen to make lunch while Tony stayed in their room with the babies. What James came back and saw was just the most precious thing.   

Tony was laying down on their bed. All three babies were on his chest. Jason and Arlo were holding hands and Morgan was sucking on Tony’s shirt. And Tony was there singing softly to his babies to let them know he was there and they were loved.

“Are you singing ACDC to our babies?” asked James with a smile as he watched his husband hold their babies to his chest.  

“They need to know the good stuff early! No child of mine is ever going to listen to something like One Direction!”

James made sure FRIDAY was recording that moment. It was just too fucking precious.

When Jason, Arlo, and Morgan were a month old, Tony and James had to finally bite the bullet and introduce the triplets to the world. Again, they didn’t really want to do that, but the media was in a fuss and Pepper could only keep them away for so long. So, they compromised. James and Tony didn’t want to show their babies faces so they ended up lining them all up and taking a picture of their cute little feet.

@youknowwhoiam A month ago James and I welcomed our beautiful triplets Jason James, Arlo Anthony, and Morgan Maria into the world. We are extremely grateful that they are here and healthy. James and I ask that right now everyone respect our privacy. Our babies are still new to the world and I still need more time to heal. We thank everyone for your support and understanding. -TS-B

The public was, for the most part, completely smitten with the little babies. They were just so small and perfect that it was impossible not to love them. Of course, there were the people that went after Tony and called him a bad parent and tried to bring up his past in an attempt to prove that he should never have the kids.

And that brought Tony into a downward spiral.

It started with the hateful words when Tony was so vulnerable. And those words just brought out every insecurity about Tony’s ability to parent as well as how his body was looking after the birth. And it just got worse. Tony was having trouble eating and sleeping. He was crying excessively and having panic attacks again.       

James was terrified for Tony. He just wanted him to be alright. He hated seeing him in pain. So, James made Tony an appointment with his therapist. They decided that she would come to them at the lake house so that Tony wouldn’t have to leave the babies if James needed help.

James kept to himself upstairs with the babies while Tony talked for a good hour with his therapist. From what James could hear there was a lot of crying and insecurities and it broke James’s heart. He really hoped that this would help Tony.

By the end, James was called back down to discuss the medical stuff. They found out that Tony was displaying signs of postpartum depression as well as some other problems from being off his other medications for so long. They were both relieved that Tony could start taking his medications again as well as a new one his therapist wanted him one. Hopefully, those would help in addition to adding some therapy to his schedule.

Tony’s mood began to improve significantly. It was amazing. By the time Tony’s 49th birthday rolled around he was a whole lot better than he had been. Sure, Tony wasn’t 100% better, but he was sleeping and eating and getting the help he needed.

Tony’s birthday was a more subdued affair. Their friends came down to the house for the day to visit Tony and the babies. At two and a half months old, the babies were bigger then they were at birth and a whole lot more active. Tony’s favourite moment of the whole day was when Steve went to hold Morgan and she started crying. She’d been a good baby all day until Steve held her. Tony thought it was hilarious.

“Hey, it’s alright little miss. You’re alright.” Soothed Tony as he gave a little smirk. Pepper, Peter, Happy, and Rhodey knew exactly why he was smirking and couldn’t help but mirror it.

When summer rolled around, Tony and James had a blast playing outside with the triplets. They would sit outside for hours and blow bubbles and play with toys. It was great. Peter came by more often now that he wasn’t in school and he was great with the babies. He always had them laughing when he was over. One of Tony and James favourite moments was when Peter discovered that the babies for some reason loved the sound of paper being ripping. Peter sat there on the floor with the babies for hours just ripping paper and watching the babies laugh.

Tony got the whole thing on video.

Life continued on for the new parents. Tony and James loved watching as the triplets grew and developed their own personalities. Jason was really outgoing. He loved everybody. Arlo was a quiet baby. He was content just being held and sung to. Morgan, on the other hand, was Tony’s mini-me. She loved building things and she was progressing a bit faster than her brothers. She’d definitely inherited Tony’s brains.

The triplet’s first Halloween was one for the books. Tony and James didn’t take them trick or treating, they were just too little for that. So, they took them to the compound with the other kids for a little Halloween party. Tony, James, as well as pretty much everyone else was absolutely enamoured with how adorable the babies looked in their costumes. Jason and Arlo were dressed up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 from The Cat in the Hat while Morgan was dressed up as the cat. They were just too cute.

Peter and his friends dropped by the compound that night to help out with all the kids running around. They lead some games for Clint and Scott’s kids so the adults could talk. It was actually a really good night. Although, James didn’t envy the parents of all the older kids. Peter had gotten them all hyped up on candy and sent them back to their parents. James was glad he didn’t have to deal with that yet. For now, his and Tony’s babies were content to just stick with them and drink their formula. Although, they were slowly starting to introduce different baby foods and that wasn’t really going well. None of them seemed to like peas at all… or anything green for that matter.

When the triplets were around 8 months old, Tony and James got dragged out to do some interviews. They couldn’t just leave their babies, so they came along too, as well as Uncle Happy and Uncle Steve for some support while Tony and James were busy.

They took one of Tony’s private jets down to California. Now, everything they’d read online said that flying with a baby would be a nightmare, but Jason, Arlo, and Morgan were calm the whole time. There was a little bit of crying at take off because they didn’t understand what was happening, but that stopped when they were given some frozen fruit pops. They were teething so the cold treat was very much appreciated.

Tony and James did a total of 5 interviews during the week they were in California. But, there was one that stuck out to them as an actual fun interview. They were on Jimmy Fallon for the day and they just knew it was going to be a good one.

“So, congratulation on the babies you two.” Smiled Jimmy once the audience had settled down. “So, what’s it like for the two of you? It must be different with three kids around.”

“It’s not actually that different. I think we adapted well. It’s hard not to adapt and be happy when you’ve got such precious little babies at home.” Smiled Tony and James nodded.

“See, they’re perfect at this age cuz they can’t backtalk us yet.” Joked James.

“Well, Morgan does enough of that without words.”

“What do you mean by that?” asked Jimmy.

“Well, whenever Morgan doesn’t like you talking or singing she puts her hand on your mouth and shakes her head. She does this the most with her Uncle Steve. It’s really funny.” Explained Tony and everybody laughed.     

“And your boys, they’re identical right? How do you tell them apart?”

“We tell them apart by their personality. Jason is more outgoing and active whereas Arlo is calmer and prefers more quiet activities.” Explained James.

“But when we take them to the compound to visit and do doctors appointments Jason wears red and Arlo wears yellow because everyone else has trouble telling them apart.” Finished Tony with a smile.  

“You dressed them in the Iron Man colours?”

“See we didn’t think that until Rhodey pointed it out. We just put Jason in red because he's more energetic and Arlo in yellow cuz he’s more mellow. That way everyone else could tell them apart.” Smiled Tony.

The rest of the interview was pretty fun. They ended up playing beer pong but with unusual liquids. James ended up trying to cheat and they all had a good time. That evening, Tony, and James took everyone down to a secluded section of the beach to play around for a bit. James and Steve took the boys to go play in the water while Tony, Happy, and Morgan stayed on the shore. Tony still couldn’t really do water after Afghanistan.

Happy was sitting close by and texting Peter’s aunt something that was making him blush while Tony played in the sand with Morgan. Well, it was less playing and more trying to keep Morgan from eating it.

“No little miss. Don’t eat that! It’s icky. See, even Mama doesn’t want to eat the sand.” Goofed Tony as he made a face and picked Morgan up.

“Mama!”

Tony’s eyes widened. Had Morgan just said her first word? Was her first word really directed at him?!

“What was that Magoona?” asked Tony as his voice cracked a bit.

“Mama!”

And Tony started crying. Morgan had just said her first word and it was him. He was Morgan’s first word! James and Steve saw that Tony was crying and quickly made their way over to see what was wrong.

“What’s wrong doll?” asked James as he and Steve set the boys down on a towel.

“Watch this.” Smiled Tony through the tears. “Morgan, who am I?” asked Tony as he pointed at himself.

“Mama!” and everyone was speechless.  

“She said her first word.” Whispered James in shock. Tony just nodded and James cheered. Their little girl was starting to talk. Now they just had to wait for Jason and Arlo to start talking.

When December rolled around, life got a little bit hectic. Not only did they have to plan for Christmas with everyone at the compound, but Tony also had Chanukah to get ready for. He wanted to teach his children what Ana and Edwin Jarvis taught him when he was young. He needed to pass on the traditions that he grew up with. It was how he kept their spirits alive.

James learned a lot during that time. He’d always found it interesting to learn about different religions and how people see the world. He loved watching Tony try to teach the triplets about all the traditions and James loved all the different foods Tony made. It was great.

When Christmas arrived it was as chaotic as one could possibly imagine. The compound had a lot of kids. So, not only were Tony, James, and their babies present, but Peter and Aunt May were there, as well as Clint’s brood and Cassie Lang. So between all the kids running around and the large number of adults, it was crazy. Plus, none of the Stark-Barnes kids even paid attention to the presents they got. The boxes and wrapping paper were way more interesting than the stuffed animals and blocks.

Sometimes Tony and James swore their kids were more like cats. They definitely got that from Tony.

The new year came and went and with it arrived the triplet’s first birthday. Both Tony and James went all out in planning their party. All their friends and family were coming to the lake house for the day to play games and hang out. Plus, Tony had ordered special cupcakes for the babies to eat. They were so cute. The icing was chocolate and each one had their name on it with sprinkles.      

But, before the day could begin, they had to get the babies ready. At thins point, Tony and James had a tried and true system for getting the babies ready in the morning. Jason and Arlo were always up first so Tony and James each took a baby and got them dressed. Once the boys were done James would take them downstairs to get breakfast ready while Tony got Morgan up and dressed.

What Tony and James found really funny about the babies was how they were the perfect blend between their parents. Morgan had James’s straight hair with Tony’s deep brown doe eyes. Jason and Arlo had James’s silvery-blue eyes but had inherited Tony’s curly hair. And their hair was curly. The only reason Tony’s hair looked as good as it did was because he had years of working with it and finding products what worked. Jason and Arlo didn’t have that luxury. So, the almost gravity-defying curls stayed. James thought they were cute.  

But, things were a little bit different on that first birthday. It was like all three of the babies knew it was a special day. They woke up smiling and giggled at everything. It was a nice change from the normally grumpy babies first thing in the morning. They got that from Tony too.

Feeding three giggly babies presented its own unique challenges. The first being that it was really hard to actually get the spoons of baby food into their mouths. More food ended up on the babies than in them. But they were so cute and happy that neither parent really minded the mess.  

“Are you all giggly Arlo? Are you Mama’s happy boy?” cooed Tony as he tickled Arlo’s tummy.

“Appy!” (*happy)

Tony and James stared at their son. Arlo just said his first word and it was a sentiment of joy. It was amazing. Tony and James were so proud. Now both Morgan and Arlo were starting to talk. They were just waiting on Jason, but they knew he would speak when he was ready. He was probably just waiting for the perfect time to talk. Most likely just to be dramatic.

Once everyone arrived for the party it was actually really fun. The older kids played out by the lake supervised by Peter and his friends while Jason, Arlo and Morgan were passed around from adult to adult. There were bubbles, sweets, and lots of love from everyone attending. Even Pepper managed to get the day off to come and visit. She was the once currently holding Jason who was getting a little bit squirmy.

“Do you want your Dada Jason?” asked Pepper as she saw Jason reaching for James as he walked over.   

“Dada!” screeched Jason and James took his son into his arms with a smile.  

“YES! That’s all three of them now! Whoo!” cheered Tony and all their friends laughed at his antics.

When everyone went home that night and the triplets were off to dreamland after the eventful day they had, Tony and James took some time to themselves. They curled up in the den in front of the fireplace together and just cuddled. It was one of those rare moments when everything was calm and time just stood still.

“We did good.” Commented Tony as he curled deeper into James’s arms.

“Did good with what?”

“With our babies. With getting together. With building lives for ourselves. We did good.” Smiled Tony and James gave him a tender kiss.

“Your right doll. We did do good.”

And there, in the light of the fire, everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter. Aren’t the babies so fucking cute? We all need some cute in our lives. I had my birthday a few days ago and it was pretty shitty so writing happy babies made up for it a bit. The next chapter had another time jump, sort of like the one in Endgame. I think you’ll like it. I’ll be seeing you soon! -Shadows


	23. This is my family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s 30 Celsius here and it’s way too hot so how about a new chapter while I cool myself with an icepack. I’ll see you at the end. (PS. 30 is really hot where I’m from. Normal hot is like 18-22.)
> 
> This chapter's song is [Brave by Sara Bareilles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4)

Four Years Later

Not a lot had changed since the triplets were born. Tony still did work for SI as well as outfitting the Avengers, James did freelance mechanic work because he enjoyed working with his hands, and their kids continued to grow. Life was good. Like actually good. Neither Tony nor James could believe how lucky they were. Sure, there were ups and downs, like the time Jason thought it would be a good idea to jump off the swing and ended up breaking his arm. But that’s life. Little kids get hurt and you deal with it. Plus, Jason liked that everyone wanted to sign his cast. He said it made him feel famous.

When the triplet’s first day of school rolled around, it was just as chaotic as you’d think it would be. Tony and James were rushing around making sure that the kids had everything they needed, making sure that shoes were on the right feet and shirts were the right way around, and making sure that lunches were packed. It was chaos.

Getting the triplets dressed that morning had been a challenge. James took on the boys while Tony tackled Morgan. He was the only one out of the two of them who had figured out how to do Morgan’s hair. Tony wrangled Morgan into baby pink tights, a light blue polka dot skirt, and a pink sweater. Somehow, Morgan was able to sit still long enough for Tony to do her hair up in twin French braids. She looked adorable.

James had a little bit more trouble with the boys. They really wanted to wear identical clothing to confuse their teacher. No matter how many times James said it was a bad idea Jason and Arlo were adamant about it. They ended up compromising. James dressed Jason in a red shirt with a yellow J on it, and Arlo in a yellow shirt with a red A on it. The shirts had been a gift from Peter before he left for MIT.    

Eventually, Tony and James were able to bundle all three kids into the car. The whole ride to school the three of them were excitedly talking about all the stuff they wanted to do. Honestly, James had been expecting some sort of temper tantrum from one of them about not wanting to go to school and them missing Mommy and Daddy. Luckily they all seemed excited.

It was Tony and James who didn’t really deal with it well.

Drop off was right outside school by the playground. All the kindergarteners were in one place so it was easy to get them all when the bell rang. That was where Tony and James said goodbye to their babies. Saying goodbye for the day was honestly anticlimactic. Jason and Arlo gave them hugs and then went running off to the playground. There were 3 different slides! That was all they cared about. Morgan stuck close for a little bit before she discovered the sandbox and went running off.    

By the time the bell rang all three kids said goodbye to their parents before they ran off to start their first day of school. That was when the crying started.

A couple of months after giving birth Tony was quick to figure out that his ability to do so had been because of magic. The only reason they’d figured that out was because when Tony went in for a check-up he no longer had a uterus or birth canal. They were gone. That really wasn’t a problem. Tony and James didn’t plan to have more kids and if that changed then adoption was always a good option. But, even so, Tony’s hormones still hadn’t really levelled out.

Hence the crying.

“Tony, they’ll be fine. They’ll make friends and learn all sorts of new things.” Soothed James as he lead Tony back to the car so they could drive to the compound to visit their friends.

“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to them. I just want them to be safe. I don’t want them to grow up. I want to keep them little forever.” Cried Tony and James pulled him into a hug.

“I know sweet thing. But all we can do is keep our eyes out for them and help them when they need it.”

James ended up joining Tony in tears as the two drove off.

As for the triplets, well they were getting adjusted to their new classroom. They were all in the same class and they were excited. The school itself was a small private elementary school so there was only one kindergarten class with about 20 students. Really, the only reason Tony and James had opted for private school was the extra protection. The triplets were half Stark and the children of 2 former Avengers, they had targets on their backs and they needed to be safe.

Back in the classroom, the teacher was quick to take attendance and get the class set up with their first assignment. The students were given paper and a plethora of crayons and were instructed to draw their families. Jason, Arlo, and Morgan had a ball doing that. There were just so many crayons, plus Uncle Steve had taught them how to draw and all about colours. They were born ready for this moment. Plus, they got a bigger piece of paper than the others because their teacher had all three of them working together because they had the same family.

It was when they got to present their fine work of art that they ran into trouble.

Jason, Arlo, and Morgan took turns pointing to members of their family and telling the class who they were. They thought everything was going great. That was until the other students started asking questions.

“Why is your Uncle Rhodey a different colour of you said he’s your Mama’s brother?” asked one student.

“My Mama said it’s cuz they adopted each other.” Explained Morgan like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And to her it was. Their family was a big mish-mash of different people from different backgrounds and they weren’t all related. But that didn’t mean they weren’t family.

“You drew your Daddy with long hair and your Mama with a beard. Mamas don’t have beards and Daddies don’t have long hair. Are you stupid?” yelled another student and none of the triplets knew how to respond. In fact, Arlo started getting upset and their teacher had them sit down while she tried to explain that some families were different while shooting the triplets looks.

The rest of the day went a little bit better. They had a nice lunch that Tony had packed for them and the playground was really fun. Plus they got to read some books. All three of them loved to read. But still, being called stupid had made them feel all icky inside. Arlo almost cried and Jason wouldn’t leave his side at all while Morgan was the one who got all the things the three of them would need for their activities.    

When Tony and James arrived to pick up the triplets they honestly weren’t expecting to get called in to talk to the teacher. Apparently, there had been some commotion in the classroom that day and the teacher wanted to clear up some things.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked James as he held Jason and Arlo in his lap while Tony held Morgan.  

“Well, this morning as an activity I had the students draw their families and tell the class about them. There was a bit of confusion revolving around your family structure and some of the students were concerned. Aren’t you worried that this will confuse the children who are more used to traditional gender roles?”

“No. Don’t even go there! My kids know how our family works. They know that they were in my tummy before they were born. They’ve seen the pictures. They know that Mommies are the ones who give birth to babies. Just because our family doesn’t follow a traditional structure doesn’t mean that our kids are stupid.” Explained Tony as he shot the teacher a pointed glare.

They left swiftly after that.

That night, to celebrate their first day of school, Tony and James took the triplets out for ice cream. The kids told them about their day and all the new things they did. Tony and James just smiled and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day for them.

A week later Tony and James were called in for a parent-teacher conference. They had Steve babysit so they could talk to the teacher and principal about what was going on. All their kids were well behaved so they had no idea what was going on.

“Good afternoon. I’d like to get right down to business if that’s alright.” Began the principal. Everyone nodded.

“Is everything alright. Are the kids in trouble?” asked James worriedly.

“None of them are in trouble. However, I’d like to talk about your daughter Morgan. She is performing at a much higher level than that typically seen in a kindergartener. We’d actually like to move her up to the third grade.” Stated the principal.

Tony had had a feeling that something like this might happen with Morgan. She was just as smart as he was at that age so Tony had taken to giving her extra lessons at home. But still, he was really skeptical about letting Morgan skip grades. When Tony had started school he skipped grades so many times that he never really learned how to socialize. That, coupled with his ADHD left him being bullied by students and staff alike while he was away at boarding school. Sure, Morgan wasn’t at boarding school and she had parents who actually cared, but he still didn’t want his daughter to get bullied for being different.

I think this is something we need to talk over before we make a decision.” Spoke Tony and James nodded. Logically they knew that they would run into trouble if they said that Morgan couldn’t move up, but they needed to talk about the risks and make a game plan on how to keep Morgan safe.

When they left the school and arrived back home, Steve stayed to keep an eye on the kids while Tony and James talked things through.

“I really don’t like this.” Complained Tony as he and James sat down in their room.

“I know doll, but we knew that this would happen sooner or later. The best we can do is support her and try to keep her safe.” Soothed James. He was always the more level-headed of the two.

“I just don’t want Morgan to turn out like me. I never learned to socialize properly and I started college way too early and that lead to alcohol problems and depression. I just want Morgan to be safe and happy.”

“She will Tony. I know we’ll be there for her. You are not Howard Tony. You love our kids and support them. I know you’ll be there for Morgan when she needs you.” Tony just looked down at the floor and James pulled him into a hug.   

“And what about Jason and Arlo? I don’t want them to feel left behind.” Exclaimed Tony.

“They won't Tony. They know we love them and they’re happy together. I know they’ll be fine.” Soothed James, but Tony still worried.

Now, that wasn’t to say that Jason and Arlo weren’t smart. They were incredibly smart. They just weren’t too inclines to do math and science. They had other interests they were keen to explore and neither Tony nor James were going to force them to do anything academically that they didn’t want to. Jason was better at sports and writing while Arlo was better at the arts. That’s just the way things were.

That night, Tony and James pulled Morgan aside to explain to her everything that was happening. She understood everything well enough. She knew she was smart like her Mama and that meant that some things might be different at school. Tony made sure that Morgan knew that she was going to have everyone’s support in this. That if anyone was being mean to her, whether they were a student or teacher, Morgan knew she had her family to help her. Tony was going to make sure that Morgan had all the support that he didn’t have.

Soon enough it was bedtime. James took the boys while Tony got Morgan all snuggled in bed.

“I love you, Mama.” Smiled Morgan as Tony tucked her in tight.

“I love you too.”

“Well, then I love you three.”

“Oh really. Well, then I love you four.” Smiled Tony as Morgan giggled. She really was a smart cookie.

A few days later Morgan was moved up to the third grade. Tony worried the whole day about how Morgan would handle it. James was there to comfort him when he inevitably had a breakdown. When they went to pick the kids up, they could tell that Morgan had a bit of a rough day. It was hard to make friends when everybody was older than you. Tony knew that firsthand. But, all they could do was make sure Morgan had the support she needed to succeed. She already had it easier than Tony did and Tony was incredibly thankful for that fact.   

As the school year continued, the triplets started taking different extracurriculars to keep busy. James had signed Jason up for baseball. It was perfect for the energetic little boy as he was quick to make friends and he loved watching the games on TV with his Daddy. Arlo started taking dance lessons. He’d seen Auntie Tasha and his Mama dancing ballet and he wanted to do it too. So, Tony found a good studio and Arlo had started lessons. It was actually helping to boost his confidence. Morgan mostly stayed at home. She much preferred to build things with her Mama. She really was like a mini Tony.    

Things were going well. The triplets were flourishing and Tony and James were happy. There was a time when neither thought that was possible. But all the hardships had been worth it in the end. Life was perfect. Now if only the world would let them have a little bit of a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s my personal headcanon that Tony knows how to dance. Like proper dance like ballet. I only think this because RDJ used to do ballet. Maria totally would have put Tony in dance and piano lessons as a kid. You can’t change my mind. I hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to show the kids a little older before we got one more chapter of plot. I think you’ll like the next one. There will be a few Endgame references off the cute and funny variety. I’ll see you soon. -Shadows 


	24. Even Damaged I'm The Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long. Life happened and I was busy. Also yes, the title of this chapter is a play off of EDITH (Even Dead I’m The Hero) from SM:FFH. Also, there are some Endgame quotes in this chapter. I’ll see you at the end.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Back in Black by ACDC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmfgUhUqBoM)

Now that the kids were getting into the swing of things with school, Tony and James were able to take some time to focus on other things. James was able to put in more time in the garage and had actually been working on designing his own car from the ground up. Tony had been able to put out some new tech for SI as well as getting more upgrades done for the Avengers. Even though Tony wasn’t an active member of the team anymore he still made the team the things they needed to keep people safe.

Once spring break rolled around, things at the Stark-Barnes house got a little hectic. Tony and James had gotten used to things being quiet during the day and having three rambunctious kids running around was familiar but also a bit different. With the kids being older now, it took a little more effort to keep them entertained. James spent the days inventing games to play and Tony built them a new swing set. That certainly helped keep everyone entertained and happy.

Although, the peace didn’t last too long.

The day when the peace took a back seat was a pretty normal day. Jason and Arlo were playing some sort of racing game with their stuffed animals, Morgan was outside in her little tent, and James was making up some pasta and veggies for lunch.

“Hey doll, it’s almost time for lunch. Can you go get Morgan?” shouted James from the kitchen.

“Sure thing honey.”

Tony made his way outside and walked past their little vegetable garden over to Morgan’s tent. It was a nice day out. There was a light breeze over the water and the trees seemed to dance in the wind and Tony called out for his daughter to come in for lunch.

“Magoona!” There was some rustling from inside the tent. “Morgan M Stark-Barnes, it’s time for lunch.” Called out Tony as he took a seat in the much to small chair outside the tent.

“Define lunch or be disintegrated!”

Tony looked up in surprise as Morgan stumbled out of her tent wearing a red light-up glove and one of Tony’s Iron Man helmets.

“You should not be wearing that Morgan. It’s part of a special thing I’m making for your Daddy.” Reprimanded Tony as he gave Morgan a little kiss and removed the helmet. Tony smiled at his daughter as he brushed some of the stray hair out of her face. With her big brown eyes, she really was just like a mini Tony.  

“You thinking about lunch? A handful of crickets on a bed of lettuce?” Joked Tony.

“Ew!”

“Where did you even get this?”

“Garage.” Smiled Morgan innocently.

“Were you looking for it?”

“No… I found it.”

“You like going in the garage huh? Well, so does Mommy.” Huffed Tony as he picked Morgan up to carry her inside for lunch.

And that was when he heard the sound of wheels on gravel. Tony looked over his shoulder and saw Steve, Natasha, and Scott getting out of a sleek black car. Nobody was supposed to be visiting today so Tony just knew that they wanted something. Tony gently put Morgan down and told her to go inside as he looked over that their guests. Once she was inside Tony made his way over to them just knowing that they wanted to talk.

“Well, this is a little unexpected. What brings you guys down here?” asked Tony as the others made their way onto the porch.

“We need to talk Tony.” Stated Steve and Tony just knew this wasn’t going to end in his favour.

“Talk about what?” asked Tony as they all took a seat on some of the patio furniture.

“We need yours and Bucky’s help. We’ve found this cell of Outriders and Thanos worshipers here on Earth. They’ve flown under the radar for the last 5 years but they’ve slipped up and we found them deep in the Sahara. We need all hands on deck. They have tech based off of the Infinity Stones and we’re not sure how to counter it.” Explained Steve and Tony just stared.

“So what is it you’re asking?”

“We need some anti-infinity stone weapons as well as for both you and Bucky to join the fight.”

Tony just sat there for a second. Sure, he’d been expecting to get asked for weapons. That was all he was good for too some of the Avengers. But Tony hadn’t been expecting to be asked to fight. Tony hadn’t fought since Thanos. He had kids to think of.

“Guys, I can do the weapons but it will take some time. There’s only one thing I know that can block out the power of an Infinity Stone and I’ll have to make it from scratch. As for the fighting, you can count me out.” Stated Tony with a sigh.

“But Stark, we need all the help we can get out on the field. This is a big fight. Stop being selfish and think of the big picture.” Complained Natasha.

“I almost died killing Thanos and I nearly died just getting back home. I gave birth to triplets in a body that’s not supposed to do that. I have three fucking kids to worry about. And, because of all the stuff I just mentioned I’m in no condition to even go out on the field. Even with the serum my body just wouldn’t be able to take it. I’m not risking my life for this. And I’m not being selfish. I’m not going to risk leaving Jason, Arlo, and Morgan without their Mommy.”

When Tony was finished talking he saw Scott nodding along. As another parent Scott understood how Tony was feeling. Although even with Scott accepting Tony’s decision, Steve and Natasha didn’t. But, just as Steve was about to start arguing they were all interrupted by the sound of little feet running towards them. Tony looked over just in time for Morgan to fling herself into his arms and cuddle in close.      

“Daddy said to come and save you.”

“Good job. I am saved.” Smiled Tony as he began to stand up with Morgan in his arms. “Look, guys. I’ll see what I can do about making weapons, but I’m not fighting. I’ve got my second chance right here and I’m not risking it in a fight. You can ask James what he wants to do, but I’m not going out there. You guys can stick around for lunch if you want I know James made extra.”

“Alright. Do you think you could send Bucky out?” asked Steve and Tony nodded.

Toy carried Morgan back inside and got her seated at the table with her brothers so they could dig into their lunch. Meals were always a messy affair. Once all three kids were distracted by their food, James looked over at Tony and sighed.

“Let me guess. They want to talk to me.” Tony nodded and James gave him a little kiss before walking outside to talk to Steve and the others.

Tony stayed behind in the kitchen making sure that the kids ate and didn’t make too much of a mess. The whole time, Tony could just make out the sounds of James arguing with the others outside. Tony couldn’t hear what they were saying but he knew he and James would be having a talk about everything once the kids went to bed.

Once Tony was sure that the conversation was over he decided to poke his nose out the door and do the good host thing and say goodbye. He wasn’t that much of an asshole. Just as their uninvited guests were heading back to the car, Scott turned back and walked over to Tony. His was a little confused but even so, Tony was ready to hear Scott out.

“Look, Tony, I know we didn’t get off on the right foot, but I want you to know that I think you’re making the right call here. I’d have killed to be there with Cassie when she was little. Your kids need you so don’t let what Cap is saying get to you. Kids are important and he just doesn’t understand.”  

“Thank you, Scott. That means a lot.”

And with that, Steve, Natasha, and Scott left to go return to the compound. Tony and James walked back inside to get their kids cleaned up from lunch. They both agreed to talk about what had just happened once the kids were in bed. They didn’t need to hear any of what was going to be said.

The rest of the day was pretty normal. Tony and James played with the kids for the rest of the afternoon. Tony cooked up some veggie stir fry and the kids read a few books before going to get ready for bed. As James got the kids all situated Tony went to his study to run some simulation on the best way to mass replicate his element. He didn’t really have enough space to synthesis it in the lab here, so he needed something that could work at the Avengers compound. It was tedious work and honestly Tony was getting frustrated. But, Tony was a Stark, and Starks don’t give up. So, after a good hour of work, Tony, buy some miracle, was able to design a miniature synthesizer to bring to the compound.  

“Shit!” exclaimed Tony as he plopped down into his chair and ran a hand down his face.

“Shit.”

Tony’s head whipped around and saw Morgan sitting on the stairs in her pyjamas. Tony shook his head in shock and brought a finger to his mouth in a shushing motion.  

“What are you doing up little miss?”

“Shit.”

“Nope, we don’t say that. Only Mommy says that. I coined it. It belongs to me.”

“Why you up?”

“Cuz I got some important shit going on here!”

Morgan looked at Tony and just gave him the most disgruntles look. It looked adorable and Tony’s heart melted.

“No, I’ve just got something on my mind.”

“Was it juice pops?”

“Sure was… That’s extortion!”

Tony would gladly admit that he was not a strong man when it came to his kids. So, when Morgan gave him the puppy dog eyes that she had 100% inherited from him, Tony caved immediately and got her the juice pop and brought her back up to bed.

“Alright Morgan, you need to go to bed now. It’s time to sleep.” Spoke Tony as he tucked Morgan into bed and finished off the last little bit of the juice pop.

“Ok, Mommy.”

“Alright, sweetie. Love you tonnes.” Smiled Tony as he turned off the light and began walking out the door.

“I love you 3000.”

“3000! Wow.” Tony smiled to himself as he made sure Morgan was nice and comfy before closing the door and heading back to the den where James was waiting for him.  

“Did you get Morgan back to bed?” asked James as Tony joined him on the couch. Tony just nodded and let his head rest on James’s shoulder.

“One of these days I’m not going to fall for her puppy dog eyes, but today is not that day.” Smiled Tony. “And by the way, Morgan just said she loves me 3000. If I remember correctly you were in the low 6-900 range.” Joked Tony and James gave him a little kiss.

The two sat in silence for a little bit, the only sound the crackling of the fire in front of them. Neither really wanted to have the conversation that would inevitably happen. They just wanted to continue to live in their little bubble of peace. They wanted to just live their lives with their kids. But, if the situation was as bad as Steve was saying it was, then they knew their help was needed.

“I think we need to talk about what Steve said.” Spoke James interrupting the silence of the room.

“I guess we should.”

“I think I need to go.” Sighed James as he grabbed Tony’s hands in his. “You’ve got the tech covered but they need more manpower.”

“I don’t like this. I don’t want you to go.” Whispered Tony.

“I don’t like this either.”

“I really hate this. I want to go with you to make sure your safe which is stupid because I know you can protect yourself, but I also want to stay away from the fight to protect our kids. I just feel so useless. So damaged.” Complained Tony as he tried to keep the tears from his eyes.

“Tony, baby doll, you are not useless. You are not damaged. You’re staying behind to protect our babies. Plus, you're retired. You don’t have to fight anymore.” Soothed James even though he was terrified over what was happening.

“I just wish this wasn’t happening. I killed Thanos that should have been the end of it.”

“I wish so too. I wish so too.” Whispered James as he pulled Tony closer. The two spent the rest of the night just cuddling together and trying to forget all the horrors they’d seen.   

 A week later the Stark-Barnes family drove down to the compound to get ready for the mission. The tech was all made to the best of Tony’s ability and all the fighters were ready to hit the ground running. Now all that was left was to say goodbye. Tony let Jason, Arlo, and Morgan say goodbye to James first. There were tears. Lots of tears. Arlo was almost inconsolable.

After a couple of minutes, Cassie Lang offered to take the triplets to another room so that Tony and James could have a moment. Man, that kid had really grown over the past five years. Once the kids left James and Tony immediately fell into a tight embrace that neither wanted to leave. They shared a few delicate kisses before pulling back a bit to look at each other.  

“You’d better come back to me.” Whispered Tony as he leant his forehead against James’s. The “alive” went unsaid.

“I’ll always come back to you sweet thing. You and the kids are the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m never letting you go.”

Tony tried not to cry as he watched his husband walk onto the jet with the rest of the Avengers. James was trying to do the same. They needed to be strong, but this was still hell.

The following week was just horrible for everybody. Back at home, Tony was not only struggling with his own emotions but those of his kids. During the day Tony would be trying his best to keep the house in order with three kids asking where daddy was. Jason started acting out a bit until Tony really explained what it was like being a superhero. He still kept it child-friendly and the conversation seemed to help calm him down. At night though, things were different. After all the kids were off in dreamland, Tony would sit in his and James’s bed clutching the stuffed bunny James had given him all those years ago as he tried not to cry. All Tony wanted was for his husband to come back to him. Now he knew how Pepper felt when they were dating. He owed her a new pair of shoes for all of that.

Meanwhile, James wasn’t doing much better. He’d wanted so desperately to just give up fighting to stay home with his family. Every time he left the safety of their hideout to go scouting or to fight James’s mind kept wandering to how things were back home. He hoped Tony and the kids were doing alright and that nothing bad had happened. Every night James pulled a picture out of his breast pocket to keep him sane. It was a picture taken of Tony and the kids from James’s last birthday. Everyone looked so safe and happy. It gave James what he needed to get through the fight.

When James was finally able to come home he was exhausted. The fight had taken a week, but in the end, they were able to take down every last Thanos supporter and Outrider. It had been hard work and James was more than ready to sleep in his own bed with Tony next to him. After an almost 11 hour flight and a 30-minute car ride, James was finally home. He couldn’t wait to see his family. It was the early evening so James knew that Tony would be corralling the kids so they could eat dinner. James crept into the house and snuck his way into the kitchen. He watched for a second as Tony helped the kids wash their hands before setting them at the table. That was when James took his moment to strike.

“Well, looks like everything’s still in order around here.” Joked James and 4 heads swivelled around to look at him.

A chorus of “DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!” was heard from the kids as they ran over to give James a hug. James picked up Arlo and Morgan in his arms while Tony picked up Jason and brought everyone into a group hug.

“I missed you, Daddy. Please don’t leave again.” Pleaded Jason as he poked James’s nose. James just held his family close.

“I promise Jason. No more leaving. No more missions. I’m done. I’m not going out again.”

James spent the rest of the night with his family. Nobody really wanted to leave his side and honestly, James wasn’t complaining. He wanted to be with his family. Nice and safe and together. That night they all slept together in the living room. The scene was picturesque. Like something from a hallmark card. And honestly, James wouldn’t have it any other way.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. I thought we needed some bittersweet stuff here. Also did y’all see the Endgame deleted scenes? I can’t get over the fact that Tony Stark has a pet alpaca. I can just imagine Morgan rolling up to pet day in first grade and everyone has their cats and dogs and fish and bunnies and there’s Morgan with a fucking alpaca. I love it so much. Also, I’m going out to do some night shooting with my dad tomorrow! He’s a low light photography teacher and he often takes me along when he’s gathering new pictures for his classes. Well enough with me rambling on. I’ll be seeing you shortly for the next chapter. -Shadows


	25. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, this is the last chapter of the main fic. It’s a bit of a shorter one to tie up all that’s happened. I have a very important note at the end so stick around.
> 
> The song for this chapter is [Happy Ending from Twisted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PgNDIFHqFw)

Parenthood and marriage had been treating James well. He found he was more mentally stable, he had more energy, and he was just happier in general. The same went for Tony. Since James came into his life and he’d started therapy, Tony had been doing better then he had in years. It was amazing.

Retirement had also been a good decision. James and Tony loved having more freedom in their schedules and it allowed them to be present in their kid's lives. Getting to watch them grow from tiny little babies that were all able to fit in their arms to rambunctious kids was a treat. Back before the war, James had always thought about maybe having a family someday. He dreamed of that white picket fence, a loving wife, an army of children, and a dog. Well, that wasn’t what he’d gotten. No, this was so much better.

James knew he had it bad the second Tony invited him down to his lab. Despite all the hardships he’d been through, Tony was still the most beautiful thing on Earth in James’s eyes. He’d hated Steve and Clint so much when they just pushed Tony too far. There was a period of time where James was terrified that he’d lose Tony.

James was glad things had gotten better. He was still mad over certain things. He hated Thanos with a passion, but the titan was dead so there wasn’t much he could do. James was glad he was able to marry Tony. Being able to call the man his husband was one of the few things that brought him unconditional joy. And then, they by some magic miracle, when Tony had fallen pregnant with their wonderful triplets, James knew that everything was going to be alright for them.

Being married and having kids had given James a new look on life. He had people to keep fighting for. He had people to get better for. He had a purpose.

Watching Tony play with their kids was one of the most precious sights in the world. James looked out from where he was sitting on the porch over at his family playing in the yard. They were all kicking a soccer ball around and apparently all the kids had ganged up on Tony.

From the other side of the house, James could hear the sound of a car pulling up their driveway. James knew exactly who it was so he didn’t bother to get up. Their guest knew to come around the back. James just smiled. He knew exactly how his kids would react to their guest visiting. And, just as James predicted a chorus of “PETER! PETER! PETER!” echoed through the yard as all three kids abandoned their games to go greet the young man. James got up from his seat to join in the hug with his husband.

At this point in their lives, Tony and James had pretty much adopted Peter as one of their own. Tony and Peter had been pretty close before James and the others came back from exile and he and Tony had been through a lot together. Peter was one of theirs, there was no argument.

Peter had grown into a fine young man. The kid was just finishing his Masters in Bioengineering at MIT and he’d officially joined the Avengers. Peter was also going pretty steady with his girlfriend MJ and they had amazing plans for the future. Even Peter’s friend Ned had good plans. He was now running intel for the Avengers and living his dream as the “guy in the chair”.

James watched as Jason and Arlo dragged Peter over to where they had been playing, Morgan excitedly running along with them. That was when Tony walked over to James and the two of them sat together on the back steps of their house. James loved the lake house. It was quiet and beautiful. The location and tranquillity actually helped a lot with his and Tony’s anxiety. It was nice being able to just be calm and relax with the kids.

“We did good.” Smiled Tony and James shifted his focus to his husband.

“We did do good. I can’t imagine our lives any other way.” Spoke James softly as he took Tony’s right hand in his and gave the knuckles a kiss.

“You know, I have a lot of regrets about the past but this… this isn’t one of them. This made everything worth it.” Whispered Tony and James nodded. He knew exactly how Tony felt.

“We should go on a vacation this summer. Take the kids to Italy or something. Show them more of the world.” Suggested James and Tony’s smile widened.

“I quite like that idea. We could show them the town where my family is from. Treat them to real gelato. Man, when did our vacation ideas turn into family fun and not just sex?”

“About the same time we had three beautiful babies.” Smirked James and Tony laughed.

“Wouldn’t trade them for the world. Man, remember when they were so small we could fit all three of them on my chest at the same time?” James nodded

“They’ve grown up so much. Pretty soon they’ll be out there in the world forging their own paths.”

“Don’t even start that! To me, they’ll always be our little miracle babies that I carried for 9 months.”

“And to think we ever had doubts about raising them.”

“Well, I still have doubts, but when things come up we’ll just deal with it together. Always together.” Smiled Tony as he leant his head against James’s.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”     

James took a breath and turned his attention back to where the kids and Peter were playing. Watching them laugh and smile made all the years of hurt just slip away. James had no idea what would have happened if he’d never gotten with Tony. Probably the end of the world and a whole lot of hurt. They just worked better together. Plus they wouldn’t have their precious babies. So, everything had been worth it. All the years of fighting, all the years of torture, all the years of pain, they had all be worth it. Every last second had been worth it. And James just knew that everything would be ok, forever… and always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading. It’s been a journey. I have one more chapter going up only a few moments after this one. You’ll want to read it, trust me. See you in a minute! -Shadows


	26. Stuff...Things...

Well hello, there friends. If you’ve read my fic More Than He Seems then you know what this is. Welcome to my planning document. Here we have everything that I planned for this fic. As you can see, not everything went as planned. Some things changed and some things just didn’t even happen. But, that’s life. Also, stay reading till the end of this document. I have a deleted scene from chapter 24 and my final notes and the announcement for my next multi-chapter fic. I’ll see you at the end!   

  1. The rouges return 6 months after civil war. All of them are crabby about the new rules (except Bucky) and don’t like that it’s Rhodey welcoming them back and not Tony. They are discussing things in the living room when Tony walks in with an O2 talk and tries to say hello. Rhodey gets mad at him and Bucky helped Tony get seated. The rouges all scoff at Tony, thinking it’s an act, but Bucky is concerned. **(Home isn’t what I thought it would be)**
  2. Bucky talked to Tony a week later when he’s invited to his lab to work on a new arm. Buck finds out that Tony is quite sick and vows to befriend and help him. **(We had to grow up quick)**
  3. It’s been 3 months and Bucky spends most of his time with Tony. Rhodey likes him because he helps Tony out and keeps the rogues off his back. Tony is still struggling and develops an eating disorder. Bucky realizes he’s fallen in love. **(I’m begging you to stop)**
  4. Wanda and the others keep picking on Tony. He becomes a shell of himself and becomes dangerously thin. Bucky gets really worried. Clint says something that pushed Tony over the edge and he slits his wrist. Bucky gets called by FRIDAY to help. **(He’s just a shell of a person)**
  5. Tony is in medical and Bucky doesn’t want to leave his side. Rhodey wants to be there but he can’t get away from his own physical therapy. Bucky understands. Tony goes into surgery to get a feeding tube in to help him gain a little weight. They can’t do the nose tube because it would mess with his already messed up airway. **(I’ll be there when you wake)**
  6. While Tony is in surgery, Bucky goes to yell at the Rogues about their behavior. After he goes back to wait for Tony to wake up. Tony waked up and three days later he starts intensive therapy. Bucky and Rhodey are the best support system. Steve comes to “visit” and Tony ends up getting an infection because of it and gets really sick. **(How dare you hurt him)**
  7. Peter comes to visit and helps pull Tony a bit out of his funk by using science and math homework as a distraction. Tony and Bucky cuddle a whole bunch. Rhodey gives his approval. **(I can feel your heart beat)**
  8. After three months of therapy (talk about adhd), Tony is released from medical. Bucky confesses his love to Tony and they kiss for the first time. **(To hold you in my arms)**
  9. Tony and Bucky spend time bonding and cuddling. Steve tried to throw a fit about it but Bucky kicks his ass in the training room for his behavior James moves into Tony’s room. **(Cross my heart)**
  10. Bucky starts to move into Tony’s room. They both find it more comfortable to share a room together. Sam and Natasha get their shit together and apologize. After a few nights of that they make love. (“Hush baby doll. Let me take care of you. Just close your eyes and let me make you feel good”) **(I’m here baby)**
  11. Tony and Bucky make love for the first time (NSFW chapter) **(Bonded with you)**
  12. A couple of month pass and they realize that Tony is healing faster and becoming stronger and slightly younger. Turns out that the super soldier serum can be transferred through sperm. Steve freaks out and blushes a whole lot when Bucky tells him that fact. **(A little bit of me)**
  13. Bucky proposes to Tony **(Just say YES)**
  14. Bucky and Tony get married in a super small wedding. Not even all the Avengers show up because they still hate Tony for no good reason. They get married in December to give the month some good memories. **(To have and to hold)**
  15. INFINITY WAR! (same-ish as movie but with Bucky) Mantis touches Tony on Titan and starts bawling because of all the pain Tony is still in from dealing with the Avengers and from leaving Bucky on Earth. They get the gauntlet off when the should of (Quill got knocked out and didn’t lose his cool) and Tony and Nebula deal the killing blows, but not before Thanos is able to stab Tony with his own tech. (he does this earlier than in the movie) (Tony does not use the IG they use weapons and go for the fucking head) **(Sticks and Stones)**
  16. The space crew arrive at the compound after 2 weeks in space where everyone else is and Bucky sprints to Tony. Tony passes out from the stab wound and they take him to medical. Tony’s healing factor didn’t kick in because he was dehydrated and malnourished. Meanwhile, everyone else finds out what happened on Titan. Thor hears this and decided to give Tony and Bucky a gift (god of fertility) for ending Thanos once and for all. **(Home again and in your arms)**
  17. Tony heals and gets released from medical and Tony and Bucky have a “celebration” together. **(Take me away)**
  18. Tony starts feeling sick. A month passes and Bucky makes him get a check up. Turns out he’s pregnant. Everyone is confused. Tony and Bucky think of it was a miracle. They can tell it’s multiples but not sure how many. **(A blessing from the storm)**
  19. Time progresses and Tony and Bucky decided to get supper cheesy with the pregnancy. This is their one shot, they deserve it. They find out they’re having triplets. (20 week scan) Bucky passes out with the news. **(Counting on the memories)**
  20. They start working on the babies rooms. They find out they’re having two boys and a girl. They finally announce to the world that they are expecting after everyone asks where Tony is. Tony deals with depression and worries. **(Add a pop of colour)**
  21. The babies are born March 14, pi day! Tony calls Peter and May first to meet the babies. Everyone offers congratulations. **(Three’s a crowd but more to love)**
  22. They take the babies back home from medical for the first time and they navigate their first few years of parenthood. Tony and James have to deal with press interviews about the babies. **(The first days of our lives)**
  23. Time passes. The kids start school. Morgan has to go to a special school because she’s a genius like her daddy and drama ensues with the press. “I love you 3000” **(This is my family)**
  24. The kids keep growing and hitting milestones. Bucky and Tony are proud parents. The team try to get Tony and James to go on a long haul mission with them. **(Even Damaged I’m The Hero)** (yes this is a play off of EDITH in ffh)
  25. **(Epilogue)**
  26. **Post this document!! (Stuff… Things…)**



SONG LIST!! If you can’t tell I really like Sleeping at Last ;P  Here’s the link!  <a href="<https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY-Mirc3qLxMZur3n2gD8RvejVxwQTx3k>">X</a>

  * Blood Bank by Bon Iver
  * Eight by Sleeping at Last
  * Skinny Love by Birdy
  * How to save a life by The Fray
  * Another Love by Tom Odell
  * NFWMB by Hozier
  * The Mentor by Sleeping at Last
  * I can’t make you love me by Bon Iver
  * Newspaper by Racheal Sage
  * Emphasis by Sleeping at Last
  * Movement by Hozier
  * Young and Restless by Robin Loxley and Wolfgang Black
  * Helium by Sia
  * Je te lesserai des mot by Patrick Watson
  * Arsonists Lullaby by Hozier
  * Ashes by Celine Dion
  * Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
  * Saturn by Sleeping at Last
  * Three by Sleeping at Last
  * Wasteland, Baby! By Hozier.
  * Dear True Love by Sleeping at Last
  * Dear Theodosia from Hamilton
  * Brave by Sara Bareilles
  * Back in Black by ACDC
  * Happy Ending from Twisted



 

Here’s a little bit that I wanted to add into chapter 24 but couldn’t really find the room for.

WIWGTSYS

Two days after James returned home from the mission he decided to take Tony out for the night. He’d called Rhodey earlier in the morning to ask if he could take the kids for the night. Rhodey was quick to agree. He’d been wanting to spend some time with his niece and nephews for a while now and he knew that Tony and James were desperate for some alone time.

So, that night, James had Rhodey pick the kids up from school so that the two love birds could have some child-free time. While Tony was blissfully working in the lab James got to work prepping their night. James started with the bedroom first before he started making dinner. He started out by laying out all the things he would need on the bed before he got out a few candles. He wasn’t going to light them yet but he wanted to be ready.

Once the bedroom was all set up James started cooking dinner and dessert. He was making lasagne from scratch as well as sticky toffee pudding. James had taken a great liking to cooking and had become quite good at it after he and Tony got together. It made him feel good that his hands were creating good things instead of taking lives.

The smell of the cooking lasagne must have permeated throughout the house because just was James was taking dinner out of the oven, Tony had emerged from his lab.

“Hey, Jamie. Where are the kids?” asked Tony as he looked around and found the house to be oddly silent.

“Rhodey is taking care of them for the night. We have the whole night to ourselves.” Smirked James as he wrapped his metal arm around Tony’s waist to pull him closer into a kiss.

“I like that idea.” Smiled Tony. “I take it you made dinner.”

“And dessert.”

“Wow, you really know how to treat a man.” Grinned Tony has he finished setting the table as James served up the food.

Dinner was mostly filled with the two of them just talking. They talked about the new product launch for SI, about how the kids were doing in school, about just life in general. It was incredibly domestic. Well, Tony and James’s whole life had been domestic since the kids were born, and they had no complaints about that. It was the life they’d always wanted but never thought they could have.

By the time James was plating up the desert, he was feeling a little bit frisky. In the middle of their conversation, James snaked his right hand under the table and began slowly palming at Tony’s crotch.  

“What do you say we take this upstairs?” purred James and Tony nodded.

“I say that’s a great idea.”

James stood up and practically flung Tony over his shoulder as the two made their way up to their bedroom. James put Tony back down on the ground and began kissing him senseless. But, the kiss was also unhurried. They had all the time they needed tonight to just be together without interruption. It was something they both desperately needed and they wanted to luxuriate in their time.

As the kissing slowly became more heated, James lead Tony over to their bed and began removing his clothes. He had plans for the night, big plans.

“What’s your safe word baby doll?” asked James as he reached behind Tony for a padded blindfold.

“Alpaca.”

“Good.”

And with that, James put his plans into motion. He placed the blindfold over Tony’s eyes and stripped him of the rest of his clothes. James gently coaxed Tony up the bed where he was able to cuff his hands to the headboard. From there he reached for the lube and a nice long internal vibrator that he knew would make Tony go crazy.

“Gonna make you feel so good tonight sweet thing. Make both of us feel so good.” Cooed James as he added a liberal amount of lube to his fingers.

James took his sweet time coaxing Tony open. He could already tell that Tony was falling deep into his own pleasure, and the sounds he was making had James growing harder. He loved how he was able to bring Tony such intense pleasure. The act itself was more gratifying than anything else for James. Once James was sure that Tony was loose and open for him, James reached over and lubed up the vibrator before turning it on and teasing Tony with it.

“Fuck… James…” moaned Tony as he tried to get more friction.

“Shh, there sweet thing. I’ll give you what you need.”

James slowly pushed the vibrator inside Tony. He took his time. It was amazing to see Tony writhing on the bed in pleasure. It was beautiful. Once James had the toy fully seated inside his husband, James slowly began to increase the vibrations as he ran soothing hands over Tony’s legs and stomach while he whispered sweet nothings to his love.

James kept his little game of teasing Tony up for a while. He knew Tony could take it. Plus, the sounds Tony was making where going straight to his dick. But, James knew that if he were to touch himself he would be coming too soon. And by the sound of things, Tony wasn’t fairing much better.

“Please James.” Pleaded Tony and James smiled.

“Please what baby doll?”

“Please. Need your cock. Need you inside me.”

And who was James to refuse? He gently removed the toy from Tony as well as the blindfold. He wanted to see Tony’s eyes when he came. James left the handcuffs alone as he slicked up his member and pushed inside Tony in one strong thrust. The sounds Tony made spurred James on as he started a firm, steady pace.

“God Tony. You feel so good. So good and all for me.” Husked James as he brought his lips down to kiss Tony’s.

The sound of flesh on flesh and breathy moans permeated the room. James felt like he was in heaven. Tony was just so warm and slick inside. It was the best thing he’d ever felt. He slowly began to speed up as well as adjust his thrusts to he was hitting Tony’s prostate every time.

“Fuck! James, James, James, James, James!” shouted Tony as his body began to get impossibly tighter. “Please James. I’m gonna cum. Please, James! Please, please, please!”

“Yes, Tony! Yes! Cum on my cock. Be a good boy and cum on my cock.” Growled James as he reached down to finish jacking Tony off.

The second James touched Tony, as well as a well-placed thrust to his prostate, had Tony coming and screaming James name. The sensation of Tony clenching down on him as well as the sounds of undeniable pleasure had James following Tony only a few seconds later. The two lovers collapsed onto each other as they came down from their highs. Tony was shaking from the aftershocks and was still completely out of it. James took the time to gently remove the cuffs from around Tony’s wrists and to clean the both of them up.

By the time James was done, Tony was still all spacey and James was loving it. He loved how Tony got after sex. It was honestly James’s favourite part. He could just hold Tony and speak soothing words with sweet touches. And James knew Tony loved it too. It was nice having someone take care of him when his whole life he’d been trying to meet others needs and demands.

So, that’s what James did. He held Tony close as he slowly fell asleep in his arms. James smiled as he watched his husband sleep on his chest. Years ago he never thought that he’d be able to have anything like this. A home with a loving husband and kids. It was everything he ever wanted. And he was. James had gotten his happy ending.            

WIWGTSYS

Well, guys, this is it. It’s hard to believe it’s over. This whole thing has been a trip. It seems like just yesterday I was writing the first chapter. I’ll be honest, this one had been one of my darker fics. Especially in the beginning. I’m very happy with how this fic turned out. Especially because in the world of fiction Tony is still alive and Bucky is a happy bean. I’m just going to pretend that the end of Endgame didn’t happen and they beat Thanos and everyone lived. I live there now.  

I’d also like to announce my next projects moving forward. I have some one-shots all planned out and being worked on as well as a new multi-chapter fic. I’m returning to my roots. It’s a Stony fic I’m calling Unmasking the Broken. Keep your eyes open for my new works. Especially this one-shot I’m titling “A Father’s Promise”. It’s a trip back to 2012 tropes.  

Just one last thing before I sign off on this fic. You guys are the best for all the comments and love. Thank you so much. I love you all 3000! -Shadows


	27. BONUS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, looks like I’m not quite done with this story yet. Here’s a short little bit that I think needs to happen. I hope you like the little surprise.

Ever since James came into his life and they moved away from the compound, Tony hadn’t had to deal much with Steve. Sure, the man was his brother-in-law, but they never got along. Steve was always trying to blame things on Tony, trying to get things out of Tony, or just plain annoy Tony. It was annoying and sometimes left Tony in tears. So, Tony mostly elected to ignore Steve and to let James deal with him.

Which was why when Steve showed up alone to the lake house while the kids were at school and James was out getting something at the store. Tony was just sitting outside and going through some SI contracts when Steve drove up and got out of the car. It was always strange seeing Steve drive a car. Tony was used to seeing him on his motorcycle.

“What do you need Cap?” asked Tony once Steve was in shouting range.

“I’m just here to talk to you, Tony.”

“You never come here to just talk Spangles. What do you need?” asked Tony once more as Steve walked over to where Tony was sitting.

“Seriously, I’m just here to talk.”

“Well I hate to say it Cap but I don’t believe you. Not once in all the years I have known you did you ever just want to talk. You either want something from me or you want to yell at me. So let me ask you again, what do you want?” seethed Tony but Steve persisted.

“Look, Tony, I know I haven’t always been the best brother-in-law. I know I’ve been a right bastard but just hear me out.” Pleaded Steve and that got Tony attention. Steve never pleaded with him. NEVER.

“Fine. You’ve got five minutes before I need to go and pick up the kids from school.”

Steve took a moment to breathe and gather his thoughts before he spoke.

“I want to apologize for every single bad thing I’ve said and done to you over the years. I’ve fucked up. I should never have said the things I have and I never should have tried to hurt you. I should have tried to understand your actions and what might have caused them instead of jumping right to blaming you. I should never have kept secrets from you and I shouldn’t have fought you when you got upset. I never should have pushed you to work when you were sick and I should have let Bucky take you right to medical when you got back from space. I was in the wrong and for that, I’m sorry.”

Tony just sat there for a moment. Steve had never done anything like this to him ever. Even his apology to him years ago when he’d first gotten out of medical with James wasn’t even an apology. This was weird. But, Steve was genuine this time. He meant the words he said and it shocked Tony. So few people had had the decency to apologize to him in the past for their actions against him. That just wasn’t something that happened. And yet here Tony was, listening to Steve actually apologize to him.

“I accept your apology Steve, but I don’t think I can forgive you yet. You were right. You did cause me a whole heck of a lot of pain. Pain I shouldn’t have to live with. But, we can’t go back in time and change the past. You need to take accountability for your actions, but this is a start. Now, I need to go pick up my kids and get them to their lessons so I need to go.” Started Tony and Steve nodded. He understood what Tony was saying and what they needed to do moving forward.

And with that, Tony and Steve went their separate ways after a friendly handshake. Both of them felt a little lighter that day. They both knew that Tony would never fully forgive Steve for everything he’d done to him over the years, but that conversation they’d just had… it was a start. A start at making things better. A start at burring the hatchet. A start at reconciliation.

A start at living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this. I know it was just a short little thing but I hope it tied up the loose ends with Tony and Steve. Keep your eyes open for my new works and follow my Tumblr lupinthealchemist for updates and insanity. I’ll see you soon. -Shadows.


End file.
